tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59140923739369843592024-02-19T16:39:29.530+00:00Rum-Punch DrunkRum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-52289328039770800822014-03-22T08:35:00.000+00:002014-03-22T08:35:42.315+00:00Time-Out<span style="font-size: large;">Every now and again in life we come across a bump or hurdle. It can come in our relationships, our finances or as in my case, health. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Right now I've been forced to take some time-out in regards to writing new posts but I endeavor to continue reading your blogs, commenting and participating in BC discussions as and when I can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNgW1zXwEMIMxtcViOB8XwsTOC4EncZXtEuT_nToj24RgAwJdgbKjNf82sqvEBWsOvDoPfoXztFgUPQ2Cn9dFiq9l8CgkrvSVTve3jmwCztEzQxsn2TyEM_h0P-On6dvZ0UftOkEGX6A/s1600/Time+Out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNgW1zXwEMIMxtcViOB8XwsTOC4EncZXtEuT_nToj24RgAwJdgbKjNf82sqvEBWsOvDoPfoXztFgUPQ2Cn9dFiq9l8CgkrvSVTve3jmwCztEzQxsn2TyEM_h0P-On6dvZ0UftOkEGX6A/s1600/Time+Out.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Feel free to browse my archive of posts as you may find something of interest. I'll respond to any comments, opinions or thoughts as always. I'll be back again soon.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com198tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-71684809708582860572014-02-21T19:20:00.000+00:002014-02-21T19:49:09.151+00:00The Fear of Fear<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"</i> Franklin D. Roosevelt. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />F-E-A-R. Simply four letters that can change my whole personality when I'm up in a plane with Mr Turbulence. And let me tell you now without shame. When F-E-A-R presented it's warped self, my vocals came into being and filled the plane, for all to hear. I screamed. Yes, I screamed like a new born baby birthed from the womb, then smacked. Well, I wasn't going down in silence. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Fear, in the fight or flight response is a mechanism that enables you to escape/hide or fight when confronted with a dangerous situation. But this same fear becomes unproductive when you're in a situation where there is no danger and yet it paralyses you. How many people have endured severe pain far longer than necessary with a bad tooth, causing themselves undue suffering, all because they're afraid of going to the dentist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh55MBZj_fuFPqpow1Xt5I0wg8GIk9FiL8PD_alcTyioFQBvFnYqGpIqZFy48Vcgghxj-6oNWIMG65mHxa9sGPn00Cy2ysYMUydeHEE20UA5k-HDUqyweQu23cjIM2EDzUASPmGtI7msw4/s1600/Fear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh55MBZj_fuFPqpow1Xt5I0wg8GIk9FiL8PD_alcTyioFQBvFnYqGpIqZFy48Vcgghxj-6oNWIMG65mHxa9sGPn00Cy2ysYMUydeHEE20UA5k-HDUqyweQu23cjIM2EDzUASPmGtI7msw4/s1600/Fear.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Many people have blighted their own career path because they feared to take the unknown road to something greater. Some bloggers are afraid to write books because they fear nobody would want to read it. There are those brilliant minds who study hard and late into the night, to prepare themselves for the big test. But on the day, fear attacks their mind distracting them from the anwers. It is only when they calm down afterwards, that the answers come flooding back.... too late. Through fear would-be whistle-blowers fail to speak up and are shamed into silence. Fear can also cause you to procrastinate for no real reason.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />And to drive the point home, how many times looking back have you noticed that the fear was far worse than what you was actually afraid of? How many times did you feel like a right idiot because nothing actually happened? I had the whole plane laughing at me because I made such a fuss, only for it to land unscathed. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">What are you most afraid of?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">When are the times you have been most afraid?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">How do you overcome your fears? </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com64tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-62416628855981635842014-02-07T19:08:00.000+00:002014-02-07T19:08:46.036+00:00Great Expectations<span style="font-size: large;">Love is in the air. Matters of the heart are about to be exposed as Valentine's Day approaches. Who doesn't want to be pampered, adored and romanced like mad? Who doesn't want to get that unexpected engagement ring, be told 'I love you' or be whisked off to some exotic place for a weekend of passion? I'm sure you wouldn't say no to a romantic spa together, candles included. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Whether you believe it or not, I'm sure you're secretly hoping for that card to drop through your letter box from a secret admirer or your loved one. Or the hubbie to return home with the biggest bunch of roses you've seen in a long while. I bet every time someone comes into the office with a package, you automatically think the gift must be for you. I bet you spend all day waiting in anticipation for that special Valentine's surprise. C'mon be honest, I know you are.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />But how will you react if you get a big fat NOTHING? No recognition, no invite, no proposal. Nothing. And this is where the colostomy bag hits the fan.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />For many people this is a time of year when numerous hearts are broken. People feel pressurized to make decisions they'll regret a month later. People feel forced into saying things they don't mean, doing things they don't really want to do and buying things they had no intention of buying. Valentine's Day is a nightmare for them. It's a day of dread and I'll tell you why!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1Hsc-0SmFLa3my0RljZYvYhNSavKkbeY4mNsOuUnsg6MOcAfpoJTNW4ds1A7PJYA9d9cAzNImUxOvpgb4fYn-Mso8dM-yvF_nWml6HVRQt2xl-bUsdVAeMyycgw9307pWbnD0S-9VJo/s1600/84.Great+Expectations.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv1Hsc-0SmFLa3my0RljZYvYhNSavKkbeY4mNsOuUnsg6MOcAfpoJTNW4ds1A7PJYA9d9cAzNImUxOvpgb4fYn-Mso8dM-yvF_nWml6HVRQt2xl-bUsdVAeMyycgw9307pWbnD0S-9VJo/s1600/84.Great+Expectations.jpg" height="168" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Because there's going to be the women looking for that wedding ring. They left no stone unturned taking care of their man. They ironed his clothes, cooked his meals, the passion was on his terms, and it didn't matter to them. They were willing to pay his house bills whenever he was short of cash, even if they had to put their own bills on hold. These men are without want. These women are the perfect unmarried unrecognised housewives. Well, it's Valentine Day, he's tried the goods for long enough and wants to move on WITHOUT her. Well, what incentive could she give him now? There'll be tears at bedtime for many and a testing time as Miss Perfection turns into Miss Repercussion. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />And what about the guys who will have pressure building to busting point? They've bought the ring, rehearsed the words, practiced a good drop to one knee, booked the fancy restaurant and informed her family. He's going to have one hell of a shock when she says NO. And she'll have one hell of a time whilst he plays Mr Stalker until he gets her out of his system. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />How about the couple whose been married for 30 years. She wants to keep the flame alive. She spent days choosing him a nice gift. She wrapped it nicely and it took her hours trying to write the right words of love to him. He comes home with a weak 'Thank You' and leaves it on the side before getting ready for bed. Her heart will be broken yet again. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />And I can't forget the ones who are too timid or polite to refuse an invite. They'll go out to dinner hating every moment of it with a smiling face. Well, that's what happens when you can't say NO. Time never flies when you're having a date from hell on a day like this. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />So you see my friends. There will tears of joy and sorrow on a mingled day of expectations or repercussions. <br /> <br />Questions<br />What do you do for your loved ones on Valentines Day or how do you celebrate it?<br />How do you keep your love afresh? Especially if you've been married for a while?<br />Have you ever used Valentine's Day to kick someone out of your life by ending a relationship? <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions. </span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com105tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-79050924178249332932014-01-23T20:25:00.005+00:002014-01-24T18:51:10.525+00:00Till Death Us Do Part?<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Let's face it. In life lots of relationships don't work out. People who once couldn't be without each other for 5 minutes end up provoking blood lust on sight. They went from lovebirds to vicious fighting bulldogs in the human ring. What happened?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Common sense says that when a relationship is in serious trouble or at death's door the best option is to make a clean break and not prolong the agony, because staying together past that point creates not only verbal tension, but also many wasted days, months and precious years. And life is already too short to spend fighting. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, at what point do you realise that staying together to 'work it out' is actually resulting in more animosity, more bitterness and more long term hate? How do you recognise that point of no return when the end becomes inevitable? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The haunting question then becomes 'If I do throw in the towel, how will I ever know if we had stuck it out a little longer and worked a little harder that we couldn't have made it work?' </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ncLxc7zmIZNWVdnBKE3D15bfOO8V_Z4apNbFvL1JtQESgpaEutRzcDTXtaHtMFu00bK8_Qx2SPob9yF-feKsXkZNNZ4Hjfvbx83LDGMytxnlQcaQoA1jMmmVaF3AmPtgqgjkwPlZvM8/s1600/Clean+Break.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ncLxc7zmIZNWVdnBKE3D15bfOO8V_Z4apNbFvL1JtQESgpaEutRzcDTXtaHtMFu00bK8_Qx2SPob9yF-feKsXkZNNZ4Hjfvbx83LDGMytxnlQcaQoA1jMmmVaF3AmPtgqgjkwPlZvM8/s1600/Clean+Break.jpg" height="306" width="400" /></span></a></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We have grandparents and great-grandparents who said 'till death us do part' and stuck to it. Divorce was highly unusual in their day. What secret did they know that we don't? Was it just staying power through thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poorer? After all, that's what they signed up to! Or were they living in secret misery for fear of public shame, tolerating the intolerable.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in an domestic abusive relationship, and I don't care if they do have children. Run like your pants is on fire, I say.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But, marriages are dropping like flies and relationships don't last as long as they used to. You can get a divorce as quick as you can get a credit card. Then it's a case of move on to partner number **?**. But I can't help feeling that divorce is sometimes taken as an easy way out with undue haste. There's just no staying power. Am I wrong? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, my question is:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Has divorce been made too easy and readily available?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Does marriage mean anything in today's society or is it just a piece of paper?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At what point should you separate from a person in a relationship if things are not going too well?</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span><br />
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Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-41113758000725377022014-01-10T18:54:00.001+00:002014-01-10T18:54:47.729+00:00You Poor Thing!<span style="font-size: large;">Well I guess it just has to be that important time again. Christmas and the New Year are done and dusted. The festivities have come to an end. Our bellies are full, our glasses are empty and so are our bank accounts. The sales have taken your last bit of money. Those overpriced gifts that we used credit to pay for are no longer appreciated. The kids have dashed the expensive toys on the floor. Your friends don't like the scent of the latest perfume you bought them and to make matters worse, the little black designer dress which cost you a month's pay no longer fits after the bout of over-indulgence. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />And there you are right now, counting the cost and complaining that you don't have enough money to cover the mortgage/rent. You Poor Thing!<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />There you are, giving the kids the evil eye for requesting a lollipop, arguing with the wife about the ongoing bills. Robbing Peter to pay Paul trying to make ends meet. Oh you Poor Thing!<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />There you are, pleading poverty, looking for your dead grandmother's diamond ring to Pawn. Begging your own father to help you out because you are in dire-straights. Now his hard earned savings are to be dwindled on you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eN_JdpGKDUr_aROFWJlzEkq-IDN68V2NR0uD1jSkmy0Pboci6oqccNPOJ2-xkuPMll05FV0dxkE-GOt_xzgPdcJlYgGibKZuo4mreAefL7EwPQshJWvmmFjoUwKgZoFKQXtiJybcFgI/s1600/You+Poor+Thing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eN_JdpGKDUr_aROFWJlzEkq-IDN68V2NR0uD1jSkmy0Pboci6oqccNPOJ2-xkuPMll05FV0dxkE-GOt_xzgPdcJlYgGibKZuo4mreAefL7EwPQshJWvmmFjoUwKgZoFKQXtiJybcFgI/s1600/You+Poor+Thing.jpg" height="218" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">But I just don't understand it anymore. Why do people subject themselves to conforming to what others do in society? That flexible credit card is not your friend and neither is it YOUR money. Why do people opt for 'buy now and pay later'? Didn't it cross your mind that your financial circumstances might change, especially during this economic downturn? Job today, gone tomorrow! Now you're off to the food bank. Well, you really are a poor thing now. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />You thought you could create the perfect Christmas/New Year merely by throwing money at it. Now little Johnny won't have nowhere to put his Playstation because the house is gone!<br />After all, you've done everything you can to make sure your family/friends had a good time for a few days, but at the cost of the long term security. Isn't the whole year more important than those few days of indulgence? <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />'Waste not, want not' has become a 'can't wait, won't wait' world. Is this the kind of example you want to teach your children?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not trying to blight anyone's fun. I'm not asking you to do nothing at all. I'm just saying, let's not ruin your own life by falling into a financial trap based on traditions. Count the cost mate!<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />So my question is:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Have you ever over-spent during a holiday season and regretted it later?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">What pressurises you into being tempted to spend more than you've got?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Have you ever had to dig yourself out of debt, and if so how did you manage this?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com97tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-66787208515916419092013-12-27T18:18:00.002+00:002013-12-27T18:18:52.931+00:00Happy New Year Bloggers!<span style="font-size: large;">I'd like to take this opportunity to say Happy New Year to all the bloggers out there in cyberland. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I would also like to say a big heartfelt <b>THANK YOU</b> to everyone who has taken the time to read this blog, leave valuable and much appreciated comments and all of those who have joined my blog via Google Friend Connect (there's still time to join if you haven't already, cheers).<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />This blog is what it is because of you. Without you it wouldn't be the same. I won't pretend I'm writing for myself, my aim is communication, discussion and friendship with fellow bloggers. Blogging has been very hard work and challenging on the best of days, but also hugely rewarding. You have all given me so much support/encouragement and I will continue to do the same with as many of you as I can get around to in 2014. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This post wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention <span style="color: cyan;"><span style="color: cyan;"><a href="http://www.blogcatalog.com/">BLOGCATALOG</a></span><span style="color: black;">. </span></span>This is one of the best blogging communities for people like me who enjoy interacting and debating on a wide variety of topics. A special thanks to the staff TonyB and AngieA who have helped to raise my profile, taking me to new heights. Their VIB status has sent me soaring through cyberland and put my name on the map. BlogCatalog is highly recommended and I'd love everyone to join and see for themselves as you won't be disappointed. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'd love you to do me a big favour. When you leave a comment on this post, please leave me a link to your Best Post of 2013 - the one that you believe is your best piece of work. </b></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'd also love to know how you will be bringing in the New Year at midnight on 31st Dec 2013. Please share. </b></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="color: cyan;"> </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: cyan;"><b>My next post will be on 10th January 2014... but it might offend, you have been warned. </b></span></span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com106tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-22030512816651096342013-12-13T19:21:00.000+00:002013-12-13T19:21:50.268+00:00Reflections<span style="font-size: large;">Well, not long to go now until 2014. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />This is the time of year that I always reflect on my life, my thoughts, my decisions and most importantly - ME. I look back on all the positives and negatives including what I've learned from them. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I ruthlessly assess my friendships/relationships and make uncomfortable decisions on who needs to go. Nobody wants to bring a back-stabber or someone who has no respect into their future do they?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I take a blunt look at myself, naked and aware. I look at my broken dreams and destructive habits and make conscious decisions to put them right. <br />I look at my attitudes to people and life. I checkout my forgiveness or lack of it on some days. I look at the things that caused me to stumble and why. I thoroughly go through the things that caused me to excel and how I can hold on to them. I look at what makes me unhappy and the ways I can change it for the better. I think about how I can make a difference to this world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This year in particular I'm conscious of Nelson Mandela who did 27 years in prison. Look what he achieved afterwards! He could have caused a bloodbath to satisfy a lust for revenge but instead he didn't allow bitterness and anger to strangle his dream of equality. He made his freedom count. What am I doing with the time I have left? What are any of us doing? Our actions can have consequences, and some of them great. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />For most of the past year... actually past several years... there has been something that has been suppressing my true identity and stifling who I really am. I don't want to go into it - the details may be for another post - but I've struggled enormously and only recently feel that I've been released and want to make the most of this freedom for the time I have left.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />So my question to you is:<br />What old things would you like to leave behind as you head into the New Year?<br />What new things would you like to bring into your life?<br />Looking back over the past year what have been your greatest successes and/or failures?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I'd love to hear your views, comments or opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com91tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-73381060081067257482013-11-29T18:52:00.000+00:002013-11-29T18:52:16.014+00:00Neighbours Behaving Badly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Neighbours, don't get me started on this one. I can talk for England about this subject but I'll keep it short. Ahem!<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Bad neighbours are the bane of my life. They drive me nuts, they bring out things in me I didn't know existed. There were times when I contemplated doing prison time rather than live next door to them. Thankfully, the authorities got there before I did. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />I've lived next door to a few bad apples in my day and mark my words, they almost put me in the pysch ward at the nut house. The constant thumping of the bass music which was played as if they w<span style="font-size: large;">ere deaf. Banging late at night which made me want to kick their front door off it's hinges.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">I </span>was forced to listen to in-depth relationship arguments every weekend after their boozy night out, always coupled with physical punch-ups, lengthy screams and the sound of smashing furniture. And it was me that had to get out of my warm bed to tell them to 'keep it down'. It was me that was verbally abused because I tried to reason with them and it was me that was left to call the police. My actions turned me into the bad guy. My good was being evil spoken of. Can anyone work that out?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHWR8h59SxZF5wIUxniZVJgNPaa2chXrnScvNLDGwPvSros8WQ_vTNN3L7fMDMatbH9sHBsUiJoPyx1HqDd9sbEVcdimCwoO-0sLa1ZW4pDJhorahhtiZYPjqAvs90Oamk_Y3JnvEkvg/s400/79.Neighbours.jpg" width="400" /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Try living next door to Mr Psycho. I did for a time. Every window of the house coated in tin-foil. Construction site noises coming from his home during the day and visits from 'ladies of the night' through to the early morning, disturbing my much needed sleep in the process. Yes I complained politely... and he answers the door wearing a mask, rubber gloves and his house looks like a bomb has gone off inside. Every natural instinct told me to steer a mile clear of this one. He then goes on the 'defensive' accusing me of picking on him - flaming cheek. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet in my own home. But you can't argue with stupid. I saw Mr Psycho a year after I moved away. I smiled to say 'hello' and guess what? He wasn't happy. He followed me on his bike shouting harsh curse words, swearing for 20 minutes. He was on the attack mate. Once again I'm the bad guy. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Would I do it again? Hell yes. If you don't disturb me, then I won't disturb you. I don't even have the time to deal with the neighbours who spew out babies and allow them to run rampant destroying the communal areas, increasing my service charges. Try having a reasonable conversation with their parents, just bring your shield because it always ends bad. And how about the ones who don't pick up after their dogs have deposited their stools outside your door? I pay good money for my shoes. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Love your neighbour? Boy, that's a big ask on the best of days!<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br /><b>So my question is:</b><br />Have you ever had neighbours behaving badly? Please share your story with us.<br />Are you comfortable reporting your neighbours to the authorities when they behave badly?<br />Has a neighbour ever complained about your behaviour? - C'mon, be honest now!<br /><br />I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com101tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-73743625504010645692013-11-15T18:49:00.000+00:002013-11-15T18:49:08.683+00:00The Best Medicine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They say it's what separates us from the animals. We all do it but few of us can explain what it actually is. It's something commonplace, yet at the same time profoundly mysterious. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm talking about laughter.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Some people even ask 'what use is it?' but science tells us that laughter actually does bring physical and psychological benefits to humans. It's supposed to make us happy, feel good and bond relationships. And making someone laugh can help get them through difficult situations. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So what makes you laugh? I've been severely scolded because of my weird sense of humour. I admit it. If you fall down the stairs, bump into a shop door, get stuck in the train doors - I'm the one who's laughing uncontrollably in the corner until I can regain my composure to help, and I don't even know why. I just find things like that funny - when it's happening to someone else! My practical jokes are worse, and they've back-fired a few times, so I'm very careful what I do now.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsdYVRmCfh6O37sSS1JVKmTSchkqcRYxSGCwPmgG4GHki6-ysyhyAf_cbh5uAlFovqSpqYfAN0a6Z-wVVU2mgVSM6W3inESRqomyJ_Ap7GDT1oE47ghGFK1V-n-_IrpMwn_jilFiVm2Y/s1600/78.The+Best+Medicine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsdYVRmCfh6O37sSS1JVKmTSchkqcRYxSGCwPmgG4GHki6-ysyhyAf_cbh5uAlFovqSpqYfAN0a6Z-wVVU2mgVSM6W3inESRqomyJ_Ap7GDT1oE47ghGFK1V-n-_IrpMwn_jilFiVm2Y/s400/78.The+Best+Medicine.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">People say I have a contagious laugh. Once I start, bit by bit everyone around me will join in and they don't even have a clue why I'm laughing! Some people have a nervous laugh. If you catch them out in conversation or something doesn't seem quite what it is, they laugh it off in an unconvincing way. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I've even seen people laugh and cry at the same time when faced with terrible adversity. Perhaps it's a coping strategy. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So look at how complex and mysterious laughter is. It can be hysterical, evil, laughing insultingly in someone's face or a joyous expression of laughing together.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So the next time you're laughing, ask yourself, why am I laughing, what kind of laughter is it, and what is laughter anyway?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, my question is:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What makes you laugh?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever played a joke on someone and it back-fired?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Where do your draw the line between what's funny and what is 'sick' humour?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com90tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-9338538965248385062013-11-01T18:37:00.000+00:002013-11-01T18:37:15.487+00:00Can Discrimination Ever Be Positive?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ever heard of 'Positive Discrimination' or 'Affirmative Action'? Well, I've just found out that it's no myth! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The term was coined by President JFK in America. The basic idea was that certain groups in society - in this case African Americans - had suffered such massive historical disadvantages and discrimination based on race, that they did not realistically have the same opportunity to succeed as everyone else. So therefore active steps needed to be taken to ensure that such minority groups were represented and hired in organizations, government and businesses. It's led to the adoption of hiring quotas (in some countries) in which a certain number must come from previously under-represented groups.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It covers a lot of areas from employment decisions, admission to educational institutions and even public health to name but a few. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The claim is that 'reverse discrimination' - at least for a period of time - is the only way to restore complete equality in the long term. But is this the case?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On the surface it sounds simple, but in reality it actually means that if there is a lack of black people, for example, in a workplace, then in the event of 2 equally qualified people going for the same job, one black and one white, the employer opts to give the post to the black person from the underrepresented group in order to correct the balance.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">No wonder many countries refuse it, as it seems tantamount to unequal treatment to many. They simply choose to treat all people the same.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How can people be preferred purely on ethnicity or origin? Doesn't this actually devalue the person's real accomplishments? I mean, isn't it a bit patronising? This policy could actually end up damaging the people it seeks to help because others will assume 'she only got the job because she was black or a woman etc, not because she was the strongest candidate'.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It also keeps people constantly aware of the barriers that divide us, creating more resentment between different groups, increasing rather than reducing racial tension. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Perhaps you only agree with it when it is focused on one particular area and not another. For example - you may agree that more women should be seen in top positions, but not necessarily more disabled or ethnic minorities?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I ask:</span><br />
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is Positive Discrimination a good or bad thing?</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Should employers in a multicultural society be forced to have a balance of different ethnicity or equal numbers of men and women in the workplace? </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever been chosen over someone else based on your race, culture, ethnicity or sex?</span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love you to share your comments, views and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com93tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-44664205863324981692013-10-18T18:54:00.002+01:002013-10-18T18:54:19.491+01:00Author of Your Own Destruction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">'Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn' they say. But this was a clear case of cutting one's own throat, without seeing it coming. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Boy meets girl, they fall in love and get married. All seems well for a season until he is forced to tell his unsuspecting wife he's been having an affair during their 26 years of marriage. He then abandons wife for a new life with his mistress. Gulp...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well, I'm sure she would have felt like any other woman. Shocked by the sudden announcement, betrayed because she knew nothing about it. Hurt because the affair was with someone she knew. Humiliated, angry and bitter that her private life was about to go viral as 'news' in the media for all to see. I guess she might have felt a little revengeful. Who wouldn't?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now, the estranged wife had plans, but she had no idea of the price she would pay.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">She waits a while then states to reporters that a few years ago, to avoid her then husband being prosecuted for a speeding offence, she falsely told police that she was driving the car that had been caught by the speeding cameras. In other-words, she accepting driving licence penalty points incurred by her husband. Well, let me tell you this in a nutshell and to cut a long story short. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ALL hell breaks loose, everything goes public. Both herself and husband get arrested. She now needs a defence and states she was coerced by him. The jury doesn't accept it, they both get charged with perverting the course of justice and end up with an 8 month prison sentence. She was recently released after serving 2 months and has to wear an electronic tag on her ankle and abide by a curfew until the end of her sentence. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This actually happened. He was the high profile UK politician Chris Huhne who was married to Vicky Pryce. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now, I'm not here to discuss their case, but was rather making a point about being the Author Of Your Own Destruction. I can't imagine for one minute that she would have spoken out in this way knowing what the consequences would have been. Nobody in their right mind would set themselves up to be shamed so openly, then end up in prison. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So my question to you is -</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever done anything in an act of revenge that backfired in your face?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever willfully divulged secret information because your relationship with a person turned bad?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever set someone up in revenge and then sat back and watched your plans unfold with a smile on your face? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com77tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-9879315961054925572013-10-04T19:06:00.000+01:002013-10-04T19:06:54.953+01:00Blogger's Plague<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What the heck have I got in common with F. Scott Fitzgerald (Of Great Gatsby fame) and Charles M. Schulz, author of Charlie Brown and Snoopy? I call it the bloggers plague. In other words - Writers Block!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm not putting myself on a pedestal as some professional writing expert but I've been racking my brains for something to write since 02.00am last night and still a big fat nothing. Zero </span><a href="http://rumpunchdrunk.blogspot.fr/2013/06/the-mystery-of-inspiration.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Inspiration</i></b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. I don't have a post for today. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, as I'm not the only one to stand in front of this obstacle, what do you do to climb over it?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">C'mon, throw this dog a bone. Has this ever happened to you?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If so, how do you deal with it?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com109tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-38793732512263822922013-09-20T22:17:00.000+01:002013-09-20T22:17:36.846+01:00Don't Be Shy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Pride, they say it comes before a fall. Fair enough I say, but what if it comes after an achievement? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Us Brits are famous for our understatement but perhaps modesty and self-effacement can be taken too far. After all, how can we be encouraged to move forwards if we don't recognise what we have achieved in the first place? Is it so bad to be extremely pleased or overjoyed with what you have accomplished in life? Is that being proud in a negative sense?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm not asking you to make yourselves the centre of attention every single day. Or in every situation to constantly and forceably brag about your lifetime achievements. All I'm asking is, that you give yourself a good pat on the back, and not feel afraid to say what you're good at, or what you succeeded in doing in life against all the odds.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Let's not be ashamed to celebrate positive pride. Grab a beer or your favorite tipple, take the load of your feet, and tell me all about it. Don't be shy. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, what are your proudest moments or achievements in life?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What is the most successful thing you have done against all the odds?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or feel free to leave a link if it's something you've already written about.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I love to hear your comments, views and opinions. </span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com82tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-6979158772303204672013-09-06T20:33:00.000+01:002013-09-07T06:46:18.663+01:00The Abusive Church - Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Busy doing Nothing</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Before you knew it, and regardless to your day-job, every spare minute was being taken up with evening church activities. Mondays were ordained as a free day, Tuesdays was choir practice for those who wanted to be tormented by the Pastor's rude, authoritarian son. Wednesdays was bible study where you were constantly bombarded with information and any poignant questions would be danced around until the lesson had finished. Thursdays was Cell Group where the church folk met in each other's homes on a rota basis. Fridays was youth meeting, followed by cleaning the church and then all-night prayers until 3am. Saturdays was street evangelism and Sundays was church from 8.30am to 10pm. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Non-attendance of these meetings was frowned upon. People were exhausted and tired. You were discouraged from attending private family functions or events not related to church or having associations with unsaved friends. 'God' had to be put first. Any complaint would result in you being labeled as a weak and lukewarm Christian.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 3</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The key tactic here is to keep people constantly occupied and distracted. You don't have any time to think, decipher information or do any research for yourself. If your ability to think is taken away, you are more likely to accept information given to you. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Money money money</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We gave money constantly. At every meeting, at every church service, sometimes 2 or 3 times in one day. We tithed 10% of our gross income and there were additional times when we were told to give a 'sacrificial' offering, even if we didn't have it, so that you could be 'blessed by God'. I saw that offering basket more times than I saw my own family. We were told that if we did not give our money it was as if you were robbing God. Now, the bible has a lot to say about giving to the poor but I never heard the leader breathe a word about that. What was actually going on with hindsight, was that he was accepting money from a load of people with far less than him. The opposite of what the bible says. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That church was freezing in the winter and the roof was always leaking. But I guess that's what happens when bad money mismanagement comes into play. Or was it?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 4</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">People should be free to give. The minute there is an element of pressure, guilt, blackmail or even bribery ie: 'give so that God will bless you', alarm bells should be ringing loud and clear in your head. God doesn't work that way.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Behind the Mask</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This pastor was one hell of a force to be reckoned with. He was extremely charismatic and well known within the community. He was liked by many people who were not part of that church and he played the Jekyll and Hyde game very well. One of his tricks was to suddenly and openly tell the congregation on a Sunday morning that God has spoken to him, and some unlucky bastard was to be ordained as a leader ie: missionary, evangelist, elder, teacher, deacon etc. In reality he was falsely giving you a formal position within the church by name only. You actually had no authority, influence or power at all. Obviously you were not allowed to refuse that position because it came from God. I was unfortunate enough to be given a title which meant more meetings and more of an insight into the politics going on behind the scenes. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Shunning<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I remember the case of a very well respected and extremely popular leader who got on very well with the Pastor and his family. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At a certain point they wanted to step down from one aspect of their duties after a few years. The Pastor tried to persuade them not to and refused to give his blessing. When this leader politely stuck to their guns the Pastor ominously said 'OK... we'll deal with this on Sunday'. He actually waited several days to publicly denounce this person in front of the whole church, as though they had done something seriously wrong! They were now silenced, gagged - in other words, not allowed to speak as a leader.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This well-liked leader was immediately ignored by most people after the service ended. People simply turned their heads and walked away. People were too afraid to ring them at home or make contact. This leader was shunned for weeks until the Pastor reinstated their position. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 5</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The power that social isolation can have on people who have cut off their family/friends, not to mention the outside world and made their whole social life revolve around a church like this can have devastating psychological and emotional effects. Yes, you can leave at anytime but where would you go? Who would you turn to? And remember what I said in:</span><br />
<a href="http://rumpunchdrunk.blogspot.co.uk/2013_08_01_archive.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>The Abusive Church - Part 1</i></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>
</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">it was drummed into you that God had put you in that church. </span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Headless Chicken</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There came a point where myself and my partner no longer believed in the Pastor's version of scriptural interpretation. We presented him with a small document of our findings and handed it out within one of the hierarchy meetings just like we were supposed to do. The Pastor agreed in front of all the ministers and their wives to discuss our concerns at another meeting. 2 weeks later he obviously changed his mind. We received a damning letter which I can only say sounded like it came from a demented man. He stated the following which I have put in quotes:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"I take it to be an act of gross misconduct to me and anyone of intelligence in the meeting" furthermore "without submitting it to me for approval or disapproval", "I think you should have asked for them back and re-presented them in the proper manner if approved". This Pastor continued by stating 'I do not take it lightly, anyone trying to embarrass me in front of the people that God gave me to lead', "was it a try to pull a fast one" 'I do hope that this was a genuine mistake" and 'you are setting up trouble for yourself in your local church and may the Lord help you". </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We of course responded in a godly way to all letters BUT this Pastor wanted blood. He sent a second letter commenting "disrespect is and will always be discouraged" and "there is a way of doing things which shows respect for leadership and in turn will promote those in "followship" and "I have already informed those present at that meeting this would not be discussed on any level, therefore no need for you to trouble yourself further". </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now, I have not written 1/5 of what this Pastor said but wanted to give you a gist of his mindset when someone disagrees with him. In the Pastor's third letter he stated "You owe me an apology, not just to me but to all who were present in that meeting", and "you have offended me, you did not cause division because I stopped it in time" AND "you having to leave on issues as these do hurt me in the guts". It was also confirmed and made very clear that he had stopped people contacting us.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">All those wicked words spoken ONLY because we had a different point of view over scriptural interpretation. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>My Experience of Pentecostalism</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I've seen marriage forced upon couples who were not ready for it, they only wanted to date to see if they were compatible, but are now divorced or separated especially when re-marriage was deemed as sin. I've seen many people suffer with mental illness due to the emotional abuse they suffered. Many have cast God aside and dare not venture into any type of religion. One particular woman died because she refused to take her medication on the premise that God would heal her. I've seen many false prophets claim God told them to do this or that, but it's ironic how nobody never claimed to do a miracle or raise the dead, simply because they couldn't produce the evidence. I've seen fearless men from the rough and tough streets of London turned into whimpering fools. I am disgusted to my stomach to have been in a private meeting when it was announced due to rumours, that another Pastor from another congregation had made a woman pregnant, and this was being hushed up by the hierarchy. Nobody was to say anything. I'll never forget it as long as I live. And I will never have anything to do with that church or Pastor again. Shame on every Pastor, for every evil they have done. GOD IS NOT MOCKED. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 6</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Places like this and people like this Pastor can only exist because people like YOU or ME fund it with our tithes, money, offerings and most importantly, our time. Do you think autocratic or authoritarian leaders would exist if none of us ever showed up? You can't manipulate, control or abuse nothing, so to speak. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Vote with your feet. Hit the floor running. Trust your gut instinct. And don't be afraid to challenge things that you feel is not right. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I hope I was able to help someone. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If you missed it, you can read Part 1 here:</span><br />
<a href="http://rumpunchdrunk.blogspot.co.uk/2013_08_01_archive.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>The Abusive Church - Part 1</i></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It would be great to hear your views, comments and opinions on anything regarding this topic. And feel free to express your views. </span></div>
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-70350801638926991612013-08-23T19:45:00.000+01:002013-09-06T20:34:50.078+01:00The Abusive Church - Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Part 1</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is a true story of my personal experiences within an abusive church. I apologize for such a long post but there are things that needed to be said. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This post is not intended to mock or criticise the many Church Leaders that promote the sound teachings of God and have a real duty of care and love for their congregation, but rather to expose some of the toxic features within a church that almost destroyed my relationship with God. I feel compelled that this is the right time to share my experiences and to warn others in advance. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Seeking Hope</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">One of the things that most people search for is a spiritual source to fill the gap that nothing else seems to plug. A creator, a God, a being of some sort. After all, we have a longing to know who we are and where we came from. One of the many paths we take is the road that leads to God. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At a young age I had already exhausted the nightclubs, lock-in pubs, underground raves, and designer clothes. I'd had my fair share of expensive dinners, holidays abroad and meeting people you wouldn't want to be associated with. I indulged in way too many deadly sins to mention. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I began to have an intense inner feeling that I needed God and to find him I needed to find a place of worship. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I eliminated the Jehovah Witnesses, Baptists, Catholics and Mormons because throughout my early life I had already spent time studying with them and their teachings just weren't my cup of tea. I then remembered my relative telling me about this local Pentecostal church they went to and how different it was regarding worship, plus the preaching/teaching was very bible-based. I decided to go along and take a look for myself. It was that decision which almost put me 'smack bang' into the gates of hell.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>No Way Out</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Within a matter of weeks of my being there, I was being taught in the Sunday school lessons that the reason I, as a new convert had chosen that particular church was because 'it was the place where God had sent me' and 'those that leave that church were never meant to be there in the first place'. People who left were being referred to as 'wolves in sheep's clothing' according to Matthew 7:15 in the bible. We were constantly being fed stories of how people came into the church and tried to cause havoc but when they didn't succeed they left and that was due to them not being a child of God in the first place, but of the devil. We were warned against associating ourselves with them. After all, those people had rejected the truth about God so what could we possibly have in common with them? We were light and they were darkness.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I had no reason to challenge this based on what I had seen so far, so I lapped it up like a thirsty dog. The noose was being tightened, but so slowly that I didn't notice it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 1</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is vitally important because they were quickly laying the foundations in your mind that the Almighty God had put you in their church. And to leave would be to defy God. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It was also teaching you not to associate yourself with anyone who had left the group regardless to their reasons. They would be labeled as rebellious and/or backsliders - in other words, they walked out on God and wanted to return to the society that was on it's way to a fiery hell. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Seem like simple statements don't they? But, in the long run, those words would plant guilt, fear and shame, and haunt you whenever you thought of leaving. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hFR0a_pU0qblccBTdk62HavwHkGlLKlu8ihtYrz0NAUHmEj3JtMTWLfR_PAxynOxzJmRliw5BCLYSDu9iwMm3q_VsiyjcU9VIOfCn8hqrzidWRzb01cOSgm3ZL5j4TGgLWz-TWj3qX8/s1600/72.The+Abusive+Church.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hFR0a_pU0qblccBTdk62HavwHkGlLKlu8ihtYrz0NAUHmEj3JtMTWLfR_PAxynOxzJmRliw5BCLYSDu9iwMm3q_VsiyjcU9VIOfCn8hqrzidWRzb01cOSgm3ZL5j4TGgLWz-TWj3qX8/s400/72.The+Abusive+Church.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Shut Up and Obey</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As the months ticked by we were taught that we should obey God rather than man - Acts 5:29. It's a brilliant scripture if used in the right way, but it was constantly drummed into us that the Pastor and his ministers had been ordained by God, and they were the mouth-piece of God, so in essence, you were obeying what God wanted through them. You were taught that if you wanted to do certain things then you would have to ask the Pastor for 'permission' first. There would be serious consequences if you failed to adhere to this. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anyone who dared to challenge the pastor would be knocked back sometimes privately but more so publicly. They were made to look as if they were being disobedient to God's ordained authority. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There was a situation where an elderly woman wanted to visit another church. She told us beforehand what she wanted to do but when the Leader refused 'permission' she decided not to go. We had been taught that to go without his express 'blessing' was to go against the will of God. As time moved on, I'd realise that 'permission' was sought for many things: dating, marriages, visiting other churches, social events and suchlike. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anyone who did not abide by these rules was privileged enough to be the topic of the next Sunday sermon in front of the whole congregation. Can you imagine, for example, how you would feel if you wanted to get married and because you didn't ask the pastor's 'permission' the next service would be about disobedient people marrying the wrong kind or that it wasn't ordained by God and that their marriages would fail etc?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Warning 2</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Public humiliation was a way of telling the whole congregation to 'hear and fear'. The pastor did not take kindly to anyone who disobeyed him. Bit by bit, grown adults (many who I personally know) who were once very strong and independent minded were being turned into people who conformed to whatever this autocratic pastor wanted. Members were regressing to childlike vulnerability, they were no longer thinking for themselves. They were only interested in whether the pastor would approve or disapprove. In order for any cult to work you need total obedience. It was no longer about Jesus. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But the worst was yet to come.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Part 2 will be posted on 6th September 2013.</i></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Questions</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you or do you know anyone who has experienced autocratic leadership?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you encountered these dynamics in other places apart from a religious setting?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com80tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-74904112154609811922013-08-09T19:11:00.000+01:002013-08-09T19:11:18.888+01:00To the Grave - Old Age<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Who says old age is nothing but a number? As a society we seem to be terrified of it. We run from it like the plague and we'll do anything to keep it at bay. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Look at the millions spent buying products to hide or cover our naturally aging bodies. Creams to iron out the wrinkles of time, creams to disguise those liver spots, which we fondly refer to as 'death spots'. Chemical peels in an attempt to force the skin to rejuvenate itself. We endure sucks and tucks for that shameful over-stretched sagging skin. And what about the pain of undergoing surgery to pull the face north when the body is gravitating south? Need I mention the excess bags that accumulate under the eyes? If products can't shift it, surgery will. But I thought age was nothing but a number.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Some say 'you're as old as you feel' but the fact is, even if you feel 21, you're still and old 71 - ouch!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I say - what's all the fuss about? What are we so afraid of?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTZPCDRtz6HBgk2EpJ8KTKrszuLLqMdMaefG6nkmALt1MP0u5ApzW7TogTw33g-_bGFnKbgl1UZDvgS50F5SF2vyHyeBjnkqw__XPC-57dgpW93yriYQ1VvBFflqA87x8j0J8NRfCGGZA/s1600/To+the+Grave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTZPCDRtz6HBgk2EpJ8KTKrszuLLqMdMaefG6nkmALt1MP0u5ApzW7TogTw33g-_bGFnKbgl1UZDvgS50F5SF2vyHyeBjnkqw__XPC-57dgpW93yriYQ1VvBFflqA87x8j0J8NRfCGGZA/s400/To+the+Grave.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I mean, why can't we just view it in a positive light and accept it? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Those bags under your eyes, you worked damn hard to get those and anyone who can survive on earth with all it's pollutants for that long, will produce those telling signs. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That hoary head, is proof that you've lived enough to be full of wisdom and are capable of giving sound advice.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Those old weary bones might be frail now but they once built homes, fixed cars, and went to war. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Those liver spots serve as reminders to others, to give up their seat, hold open that door or to usher you to the front of the queue. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Not bad at all. You can turn your selective hearing on whenever you please and dress crazy without anyone batting an eyelid, it's all wrapped up in being old aged. You can speak your mind with less offence and guzzle the wine more easily - everyone will pass it off as being elderly. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The whole package is a badge of honour! So what's so wrong with growing old gracefully?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>What's all the trouble I hear about one being old</b></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Your face folds into wrinkles and your room smells of mould</b></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Your hair changes colour whether you like it or not</b></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>The smell of your body, gently tells you 'it's rot'!</b></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Why should we care, cos we've had all our time</b></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><b>we've lived and we've loved and we've spent our last dime</b></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Are you doing anything to keep old age at bay?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do you relish being old or do you hate it?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do you make allowances for old people?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your views, comments, experiences and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com104tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-47903265239206910852013-07-26T19:27:00.001+01:002013-07-26T19:27:23.635+01:00The Smiling Assassin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Trust me, they walk amongst us and we ought to take heed and be careful. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">These people are calm and docile. They are not in-your-face aggressors. They are experts in knowing how to adopt a placid persona to carry out their under-handed aggressive attacks. A classic case of wolf-in-sheep's clothing. They have a way of channelling all their anger and frustration in a passive way. It all looks so good on the surface but underneath they are mere backstabbers looking to retaliate in the most subtle and cunning ways. It's a kind of undercover abuse. They are called Passive Aggressives. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Passive Aggressives procastrinate even if they have agreed to do something for you. You can remind them countless times but they'll find a way to either do it in their own time or maybe not at all. They have intentional inefficiency - that's when you ask them to wash the dishes, and they do it with a smile but will deliberately leave food bits on the plates stating they did their best. Their mission was sabotage. Their smile is really a smirk that says 'I'll teach you a lesson'. They'll refuse to deal with arising problems and will allow things to escalate. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Passive aggressives won't tell you you're wrong, they'll make subtle sarcastic comments hoping you won't pick up on it, and if you do, you may find it very difficult to pin-point the offensive comment whilst they go all wide-eyed and innocent saying 'what....me? Oh nooo, I didn't mean it that way'. And if you insist on challenging them, they can make you look as if you're the one causing the problem. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6neel8kyNgSM-M2uJZOy7AC4ecRmQap2KvNCdj3tS7ZXtzn03zOcz8rz_3nkP6VkDMvluzZ1jfU1zOe2bwtlO_i3CXiPHdJnaNXdPu9-6VNoVcVT9KscQNv0o_0BS7Ib0xB3JAkMeZqQ/s1600/70.Smiling+Assassin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6neel8kyNgSM-M2uJZOy7AC4ecRmQap2KvNCdj3tS7ZXtzn03zOcz8rz_3nkP6VkDMvluzZ1jfU1zOe2bwtlO_i3CXiPHdJnaNXdPu9-6VNoVcVT9KscQNv0o_0BS7Ib0xB3JAkMeZqQ/s400/70.Smiling+Assassin.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Passive Aggressives, don't take responsibility or blame. They are masters at what they do and know how to manipulate others. You usually find out who they are by their behaviour. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Does anybody know what I'm talking about?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you ever been the victim of Passive Aggressive tactics?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How would you deal with someone who is a Passive Aggressive?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, views, opinions or experiences.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-27323486210883730512013-07-12T19:17:00.000+01:002013-07-12T19:17:47.315+01:00A Love / Hate Relationship<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have a love/hate relationship in my life. What makes it important is that this person is around me all the time. The difficult thing is that this person has some traits that I really can't stand. It's just irritating. Worst of all, this person is... ME.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Could I even be a self-abuser? I have no trouble encouraging and supporting others to feel good about themselves and celebrating their differences and uniqueness. But I also think it's delusional for a person to just assume they're perfect. And there seems to be a lot of them about nowadays.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But what if you have the opposite problem?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vyLNHsRm2ZtLRw5iG2929Fhi4XtGi7I2J6oEat06qVQsEu1_DbyKG3dZJYhgDXKtlWbWilRhF4E4PuOpT4nfa_AoJ7H3l0znjoJfHrpqMybTkhno5KA8L-jo00x4JcDBvAvJHHvVJFk/s1600/69.A+Love+Hate+Relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vyLNHsRm2ZtLRw5iG2929Fhi4XtGi7I2J6oEat06qVQsEu1_DbyKG3dZJYhgDXKtlWbWilRhF4E4PuOpT4nfa_AoJ7H3l0znjoJfHrpqMybTkhno5KA8L-jo00x4JcDBvAvJHHvVJFk/s400/69.A+Love+Hate+Relationship.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vyLNHsRm2ZtLRw5iG2929Fhi4XtGi7I2J6oEat06qVQsEu1_DbyKG3dZJYhgDXKtlWbWilRhF4E4PuOpT4nfa_AoJ7H3l0znjoJfHrpqMybTkhno5KA8L-jo00x4JcDBvAvJHHvVJFk/s1600/69.A+Love+Hate+Relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here's my dilemma. I want to be 'comfortable in my own skin'. I want to accept myself 'warts and all'. Some people even tell me that until I learn to love myself that way, I won't really be able to love others fully - can this be true? But how can I accept things about myself that are just plain wrong? Can I afford to be complacent?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Surely I should try and strive to change them. I don't want to be one of those many people I know who are so full of love for themselves that they don't seem to listen to their own conscience when they do blatantly wrong and selfish things.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But then again, what if I can't change? What if this is simply the way I am? Does me beating myself up really achieve anything?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dear readers, I'm confused.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Can any of you relate to my confusion?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Does anybody out there have any advice for me?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In all seriousness - Do you truly like everything about your character?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your comments, advice, views and opinions.</span><br />
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Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-67114770570066150532013-06-28T20:48:00.000+01:002013-06-30T11:18:58.498+01:00Mystery of Inspiration<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Inspiration, friend or foe. It seems to be an enemy if you ain't got it. What the heck is it anyway? Usually when I come to write a blog post there is something that triggers me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When it comes to blogging I don't actually know where inspiration comes from. Is it really from all those conversations I had down the pub? Or maybe the many family functions where we debated issues all night? Maybe it's the regurgitation of my daily diet of news? Crikey knows. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">All I can say is that, like a bolt of lightning, something happens and the words just flow and I feel complete in the sense that I have something to say.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggFNtvjK4_Gp_vOviVQ8s_R3w9wBWW2oiS3eOMUBel8_y3a1WiOc4UAb1GrImURG4ZSz2QosLVd_edNF653bQ7j_UWXrNcAFqdnvwCVy6H39laKVgIspTPzdr4LLc7eSsixDPNnUMeAh0/s973/stockvault-bulb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggFNtvjK4_Gp_vOviVQ8s_R3w9wBWW2oiS3eOMUBel8_y3a1WiOc4UAb1GrImURG4ZSz2QosLVd_edNF653bQ7j_UWXrNcAFqdnvwCVy6H39laKVgIspTPzdr4LLc7eSsixDPNnUMeAh0/s400/stockvault-bulb.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But when searching for inspiration, it proves very elusive. I try and go back to the source. I replay the moment of inspiration in my mind trying to work out what happened but it's like looking for the end of the rainbow.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's almost as though, instead of me finding inspiration, it's inspiration that finds me. In a quick minute it's all there and if you don't try to capture it, it's gone. I recognise it when it happens but I don't have a clue where it comes from. So my questions to you readers and fellow bloggers is:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Where do you get your inspiration from?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Come to think of it, what is inspiration?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I would love to hear your comments, views and opinions on this.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com81tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-52578659650128235382013-06-14T16:56:00.001+01:002013-06-14T16:56:30.265+01:00Father's Day Heroes<span style="font-size: large;">This Sunday 16th June is Father's Day here in the UK. So, I'm not going to waste my time on dead beat dads who couldn't care less. No. This post is for the many fathers around the world who did their best with what life presented them with. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To all those fathers who work many hours in low paid jobs just to bring in a decent wage, and to the increasing many that work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. <i>You have supported your family well.</i> <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To all those that take time out of their busy work schedules so they can attend their children's school plays, parents evenings and sporting events. <i>Your children will always remember it. </i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To all the 'stay at home dads' who look after the children, do the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning without complaint whilst mum earns a crust. <i>Nothing wrong in that and it's good you shared the load.</i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To all the fathers who continue to pay child maintenance despite a divorce, separation or relationship breakdown. <i>We're proud you supported your own. </i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To the many fathers in the armed forces. We can only imagine how hard it must be for them to be away from their families. <i>Thank you for the sacrifice and for risking your lives to keep all of us safe.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjjykKTcL6Z2CALW8i_pcLuFvLZYXmAWo7BYP2UEaHHrKA0hJfPt6tMOwL1wtJ-RqUDSWTdFq6RVupGDQumOJgU0eezzxudlqVFWIEIsR4LWw1fKgM1Vc9uJ3WzVM-ziGvFuvRJFvxyw/s1600/67.+Father%27s+Day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjjykKTcL6Z2CALW8i_pcLuFvLZYXmAWo7BYP2UEaHHrKA0hJfPt6tMOwL1wtJ-RqUDSWTdFq6RVupGDQumOJgU0eezzxudlqVFWIEIsR4LWw1fKgM1Vc9uJ3WzVM-ziGvFuvRJFvxyw/s400/67.+Father%27s+Day.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">To the dads who have shown their daughters how a man should treat a woman in all circumstances of life. And taught their sons what it is to be a real man. <i>Thank you for raising your children into responsible, caring, respectful adults of today. </i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />To the unfortunate dads who found themselves incarcerated but after doing 'time' for their crime, they made a complete U turn and completely changed their life for the better. <i>What a bitter pill you swallowed. But, well done, you deserve a second chance. </i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />And I mustn't forget to mention all those men who took on the full responsibility of raising children that were not theirs, but supported, nurtured, loved and cared for the kids as if they were their own. And for those who will move heaven and earth (legally!) to get access to see their children. <i>You deserve a medal for sure.</i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Anyone can have a child but not everyone can be a good father, male role model or mentor. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />If you have a message of encouragement you would like to send out to fathers, please feel free to leave a message here. <br /><br />I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-5595842521618954492013-05-31T19:43:00.000+01:002013-05-31T19:43:21.692+01:00Metamorphosis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Take a regular guy, unassuming and liked by all. His friends portray him as friendly, respectful and polite, far from the angry troublemaker, hotheaded rebel or sinister outsider. The kind of person who is from a good family, did well at school and held down a decent job for years. We all know someone like that.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Along the way 'something' happens to those young people that produces adults that I find absolutely chilling. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />'Something' that turned the guy those people knew into a man with blood-soaked hands, holding a meat-cleaver and knife in the headlines last week. I'm talking, of course, about Michael Adebowale, alleged murderer of soldier Lee Rigby in Woolwich, whose body had to be identifed by dental records. People say that Michael Adebowale was 'radicalised' - but what does that actually mean?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />So how about Ariel Castro - the man responsible for keeping captive, Gina DeJesus, Amanda Berry and Michelle Knight for over 10 years? Was he radicalised too? He was another normal member of his community even having the audacity to invite friends over for a beer claiming the noises they heard were dogs in the attic, when in fact it was the victims trying to escape. Ariel Castro gave money towards the search for one of the girls he himself had kidnapped. On another occasion he attended a vigil for a girl and stood with the grieving family knowing that a few hundred yards away she was huddled up and chained in his own basement. Those who knew him also gave him a glowing report. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many times there is nothing in a person's past that raises alarm bells as to what they might do in the future. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Is there some sort of a metamorphoses that takes place, or is it just the matter of them revealing who they really were all along, flashing their true colours after many years? <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Sometimes we are so busy being focused on the bad guys that we're not concentrating on the so-called 'good guys'. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Now I ask you:<br />• Can someone explain what radicalisation really is?<br />• Have you ever been horrified to find out a person you thought you knew for years was something completely different? If so, can you share what happened?<br />• Do you think it's possible to prevent this sort of thing happening if you intervene at an early enough stage?<br /><br />I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions on this.</span></div>
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com78tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-7869996915590128872013-05-18T08:45:00.000+01:002013-05-18T08:45:04.795+01:00Better Off Alone!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Loner. Unsociable. Recluse. Just some of the labels society slaps on a person who prefers their own company to that of others.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But what's so wrong about a person being more comfortable on their own? We constantly encourage people to love themselves and be comfortable in their own skin, but as soon as you take time out on your own, you are labeled as if you are a freak. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Isn't there something wrong with the person who has to continually be around other people? There are some people who just can't sit still for 5 minutes. Their phones are always engaged, they are never home and every time you try to contact them they are busy. Why isn't that seen as unhealthy?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Isn't it possible to have too many friends and be socially addicted? I'm talking about the person who can't hold down a decent conversation because they're constantly texting, tweeting or checking their emails. The person who has spread themselves so thinly that they are too busy to truly form a strong relationship with anyone. I don't know about you, but I find it more lonely in a crowd of acquaintances than being by myself in my room. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Over the years I've wondered if there is something wrong with me. I can spend days on end by myself without the slightest urge to see anyone or pick up the phone. I feel peaceful, content, and stress-free. Chaos and confusion is left outside whilst I'm serene in my bubble. Where's the crime in that?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMrHmdOoztlq8vhUosKis0CUECuIMjhk1bX-qhfRPACRfr9K5YbxfvDlgleiALilqO2aNt5CmaGEK7D6S6H6m7zPR69sZgLfiIj9ny0mrm6JLFu8pBKzcGRWysT-79pJ15N0Juzbr3Il0/s1600/Better+off+alone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMrHmdOoztlq8vhUosKis0CUECuIMjhk1bX-qhfRPACRfr9K5YbxfvDlgleiALilqO2aNt5CmaGEK7D6S6H6m7zPR69sZgLfiIj9ny0mrm6JLFu8pBKzcGRWysT-79pJ15N0Juzbr3Il0/s400/Better+off+alone.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There are also many famous people who were deemed to have reclusive tendencies such as John Swartzwelder - comedy writer of 'The Simpsons'. Johnny Carson - NBC host of The Tonight Show. Daniel-Day Lewis - Actor of My Left Foot and Stanley Kubrick director of A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Space Odyssey to mention a few. It just goes to show that even if you don't crave the company of others, you can still achieve your goals.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do you prefer to spend most of your time alone or in the company of others?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do you think it's unhealthy to spend vast amounts of time on your own?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com102tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-82913140907145295812013-05-03T20:04:00.001+01:002013-05-03T20:04:51.873+01:00Positive Affirmation - Really?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Okay, so I'm a bit stuck with this one and I'm struggling. You see, I understand that we should aim to have a positive outlook on life and even when we endure hard times we should try to look for the light at the end of the tunnel, find that silver lining in the dark clouds or encourage ourselves if possible. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'm coming across more and more people who believe in this thing called 'Positive Affirmation'. It goes far deeper than looking on the bright side when all around you is in chaos. And it's very different from someone having a naturally positive attitude. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I mean, people actually believe that if you continue to speak repetitive positive things 'into your life' then it will happen. Furthermore, if you write positive affirmations around your home or work then these affirmations will come true. So in essence, if you continuously say or chant the words 'I love myself' or 'I will be successful' for a long enough period of time, then you WILL love yourself and become successful. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-5e59MZ6QnM4qujz03d_GNdHHUeZ4hj5-gNBxdLzV4kKf4HIWjR4dtNNYSTbQj1lKbSkg1OY6sqs2b_dfG9YRDrECyk5OJYCp95S-QUDSEH0ntlJqsVN-UmrfrHveCqbmsouze5R_3Y/s1600/64.Positive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-5e59MZ6QnM4qujz03d_GNdHHUeZ4hj5-gNBxdLzV4kKf4HIWjR4dtNNYSTbQj1lKbSkg1OY6sqs2b_dfG9YRDrECyk5OJYCp95S-QUDSEH0ntlJqsVN-UmrfrHveCqbmsouze5R_3Y/s400/64.Positive.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Whatever floats your boat. But I get frustrated when I'm trying to have a conversation with someone who keeps constantly correcting me. I'm just trying to accurately describe what's going on and how I feel but they insist on me editing out the parts that they don't think are 'positive'. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here's an example. If you say ' I hate this job, I find it so boring". Mr Positive Affirmation says " Don't say that! It sounds like self pity to me. Instead you need to declare this "I love my job and find it enjoying and fulfilling". </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's as though they believe that acknowledging that you're not happy about something actually makes it go wrong. There seems to be a modern superstition that every word casts some kind of spell, like speaking something into being. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But what's so wrong with being real? Thinking positive in bad circumstances is one thing, but can it, by itself, get you out of the situation? And by the way, at what point do we acknowledge that all is not well? At what point does this wishful thinking become a person actually lying, to others and to themselves? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Does all this 'Positive Affirmation' force people to walk around with a false smile on their face living in denial?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Does anyone actually know what I'm talking about? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have you encountered 'Positive Affirmation' yourself?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Doesn't creating such a gap between reality and what you admit impact on mental health?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I would love to hear your views, opinions or comments.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-42184089981343615712013-04-19T18:37:00.000+01:002013-04-19T18:37:19.146+01:00No-Nonsense Women<span style="font-size: large;">"I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England at that!" The words spoken by a great woman who had power, authority and strength. Queen Elisabeth the First.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman". Words spoken by one of the most powerful and divisive leaders that Great Britain has ever seen. Baroness Margaret Thatcher, ex Prime Minister who passed away last week.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Regardless to what you personally think about these women or their politics they had common traits. Determination, <a href="http://rumpunchdrunk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/resilience-victim-or-victorious.html">resilience</a>, boldness, courage, strength of character, a willingness to take risks and a fearless heart. They stood up against strong minded men who tried to oppose and challenge them. They persisted with their aim and got the program done. These women knew what they wanted and didn't allow anyone to stop them.<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />Dare I neglect to mention all the other unsung heroines who bring the same qualities to everyday life. Women who are the backbone of their families, that successful business, that international industry. Without them it would not work. But wait, isn't that the problem? Their contribution is only valued so long as they stay in the background, the moment they try to step into leadership, they get shot down. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />So are women still facing cultural, male dominated, obstacles today? Even Thatcher was trained to lower and deepen her voice!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80c6INHSpyjZkeepGpRSqVgWTnrK2C_prbYGKb5CDLYNLDLZVmZ-se0LfyNDMgHMroB_zqOQ9s4cfhBw91uD27trfBl3Gc4DYGUIEjmhPysuWHRVFuMs-iBryUwtZjgMSYgur0VQCAvk/s1600/63.Rambo+Women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80c6INHSpyjZkeepGpRSqVgWTnrK2C_prbYGKb5CDLYNLDLZVmZ-se0LfyNDMgHMroB_zqOQ9s4cfhBw91uD27trfBl3Gc4DYGUIEjmhPysuWHRVFuMs-iBryUwtZjgMSYgur0VQCAvk/s400/63.Rambo+Women.jpg" width="266" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">They say you have to be strong and hard to get on and achieve. But if a woman acts too tough, they say she is no longer feminine. Come on and be honest now - If a woman behaves daintily, or presents herself too attractively, is she really taken seriously?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />While men can just get down to business, women have to walk this tightrope and in some cases, still get the same job done, if not to a higher standard. <br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />So, can a woman be strong and powerful without being manly? I mean, is there a type of strength that is better suited to women than to men?<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />What actually makes a woman powerful?<br />Who are the powerful women in your life and how did they influence you?<br />Are powerful women viewed or portrayed as negative?<br />Do men fear a powerful woman?<br /><br />I'd love to hear your comments, views, and opinions.</span>Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com77tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5914092373936984359.post-15698797731333276692013-04-05T19:35:00.001+01:002013-04-05T19:35:40.768+01:00Snitch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now, this is a real tough one as nobody wants to be known as a 'squealer', 'snitch' or 'grass' and everyone's heard of some of the deadly consequences associated with people who reveal secrets, especially within the criminal world. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But let's take away the death aspect of it all - although you can never be sure that someone won't commit suicide or take a life!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What if you were confidentially given unequivocal information that would affect the life of a colleague, friend or family member? What if you revealing that information meant they could avoid severe consequences such as prison, personal injury or loss of livelihood? Remember, it's not just about helping a friend. By doing so you would also be betraying the person or organisation who gave you that information and jeapordising your own reputation. In other words, you can't play both sides. Would you squeal? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or on the other hand, take the opposite case. What kind of wrongdoing would push you so far as to pass information about a friend or loved one to the authorities?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What if they were cheating on their taxes or insurance?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What if they were defrauding innocent members of the public?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What if they were smuggling drugs or people into the country?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Would that make you squeal? If not what would it take?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What's the difference between revealing 'secret' information to a friend and revealing 'secret' information to the authorities? Either way, isn't it the same thing? Please enlighten me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes in life, taking sides becomes inevitable. One man's hero is another man's traitor.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.</span><br />
Rum-Punch Drunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13531893705181077869noreply@blogger.com85