Thursday, 23 January 2014

Till Death Us Do Part?

Let's face it. In life lots of relationships don't work out. People who once couldn't be without each other for 5 minutes end up provoking blood lust on sight. They went from lovebirds to vicious fighting bulldogs in the human ring. What happened?

Common sense says that when a relationship is in serious trouble or at death's door the best option is to make a clean break and not prolong the agony, because staying together past that point creates not only verbal tension, but also many wasted days, months and precious years. And life is already too short to spend fighting. 

So, at what point do you realise that staying together to 'work it out' is actually resulting in more animosity, more bitterness and more long term hate? How do you recognise that point of no return when the end becomes inevitable? 

The haunting question then becomes 'If I do throw in the towel, how will I ever know if we had stuck it out a little longer and worked a little harder that we couldn't have made it work?' 

We have grandparents and great-grandparents who said 'till death us do part' and stuck to it. Divorce was highly unusual in their day. What secret did they know that we don't? Was it just staying power through thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poorer? After all, that's what they signed up to! Or were they living in secret misery for fear of public shame, tolerating the intolerable.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in an domestic abusive relationship, and I don't care if they do have children. Run like your pants is on fire, I say.

But, marriages are dropping like flies and relationships don't last as long as they used to. You can get a divorce as quick as you can get a credit card. Then it's a case of move on to partner number **?**.  But I can't help feeling that divorce is sometimes taken as an easy way out with undue haste. There's just no staying power. Am I wrong? 

So, my question is:
Has divorce been made too easy and readily available?
Does marriage mean anything in today's society or is it just a piece of paper?
At what point should you separate from a person in a relationship if things are not going too well?

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Friday, 10 January 2014

You Poor Thing!

Well I guess it just has to be that important time again. Christmas and the New Year are done and dusted. The festivities have come to an end. Our bellies are full, our glasses are empty and so are our bank accounts. The sales have taken your last bit of money. Those overpriced gifts that we used credit to pay for are no longer appreciated. The kids have dashed the expensive toys on the floor. Your friends don't like the scent of the latest perfume you bought them and to make matters worse, the little black designer dress which cost you a month's pay no longer fits after the bout of over-indulgence.
And there you are right now, counting the cost and complaining that you don't have enough money to cover the mortgage/rent. You Poor Thing!
There you are, giving the kids the evil eye for requesting a lollipop, arguing with the wife about the ongoing bills. Robbing Peter to pay Paul trying to make ends meet. Oh you Poor Thing!
There you are, pleading poverty, looking for your dead grandmother's diamond ring to Pawn. Begging your own father to help you out because you are in dire-straights. Now his hard earned savings are to be dwindled on you.

But I just don't understand it anymore. Why do people subject themselves to conforming to what others do in society? That flexible credit card is not your friend and neither is it YOUR money. Why do people opt for 'buy now and pay later'? Didn't it cross your mind that your financial circumstances might change, especially during this economic downturn? Job today, gone tomorrow! Now you're off to the food bank. Well, you really are a poor thing now.
You thought you could create the perfect Christmas/New Year merely by throwing money at it. Now little Johnny won't have nowhere to put his Playstation because the house is gone!
After all, you've done everything you can to make sure your family/friends had a good time for a few days, but at the cost of the long term security. Isn't the whole year more important than those few days of indulgence?
'Waste not, want not' has become a 'can't wait, won't wait' world. Is this the kind of example you want to teach your children?

I'm not trying to blight anyone's fun. I'm not asking you to do nothing at all. I'm just saying, let's not ruin your own life by falling into a financial trap based on traditions. Count the cost mate!
So my question is:

  • Have you ever over-spent during a holiday season and regretted it later?
  • What pressurises you into being tempted to spend more than you've got?
  • Have you ever had to dig yourself out of debt, and if so how did you manage this? 
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.
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