Friday, 26 July 2013

The Smiling Assassin

Trust me, they walk amongst us and we ought to take heed and be careful. 

These people are calm and docile. They are not in-your-face aggressors. They are experts in knowing how to adopt a placid persona to carry out their under-handed aggressive attacks. A classic case of wolf-in-sheep's clothing. They have a way of channelling all their anger and frustration in a passive way. It all looks so good on the surface but underneath they are mere backstabbers looking to retaliate in the most subtle and cunning ways.  It's a kind of undercover abuse. They are called Passive Aggressives. 

Passive Aggressives procastrinate even if they have agreed to do something for you. You can remind them countless times but they'll find a way to either do it in their own time or maybe not at all.  They have intentional inefficiency - that's when you ask them to wash the dishes, and they do it with a smile but will deliberately leave food bits on the plates stating they did their best. Their mission was sabotage. Their smile is really a smirk that says 'I'll teach you a lesson'. They'll refuse to deal with arising problems and will allow things to escalate. 

Passive aggressives won't tell you you're wrong, they'll make subtle sarcastic comments hoping you won't pick up on it, and if you do, you may find it very difficult to pin-point the offensive comment whilst they go all wide-eyed and innocent saying ' Oh nooo, I didn't mean it that way'. And if you insist on challenging them, they can make you look as if you're the one causing the problem. 

Passive Aggressives, don't take responsibility or blame. They are masters at what they do and know how to manipulate others. You usually find out who they are by their behaviour. 

Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

Have you ever been the victim of Passive Aggressive tactics?
How would you deal with someone who is a Passive Aggressive?

I'd love to hear your comments, views, opinions or experiences.

Friday, 12 July 2013

A Love / Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship in my life. What makes it important is that this person is around me all the time. The difficult thing is that this person has some traits that I really can't stand. It's just irritating. Worst of all, this person is... ME.

Could I even be a self-abuser? I have no trouble encouraging and supporting others to feel good about themselves and celebrating their differences and uniqueness. But I also think it's delusional for a person to just assume they're perfect. And there seems to be a lot of them about nowadays.

But what if you have the opposite problem?
Here's my dilemma. I want to be 'comfortable in my own skin'. I want to accept myself 'warts and all'. Some people even tell me that until I learn to love myself that way, I won't really be able to love others fully - can this be true? But how can I accept things about myself that are just plain wrong? Can I afford to be complacent?

Surely I should try and strive to change them. I don't want to be one of those many people I know who are so full of love for themselves that they don't seem to listen to their own conscience when they do blatantly wrong and selfish things.

But then again, what if I can't change? What if this is simply the way I am? Does me beating myself up really achieve anything?

Dear readers, I'm confused.

Can any of you relate to my confusion?
Does anybody out there have any advice for me?
In all seriousness - Do you truly like everything about your character?

I'd love to hear your comments, advice, views and opinions.

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