Firstly, there is a high percentage of men who are the silent victims and not the perpetrators.
These men are nothing more than punching bags to vicious women who are unable to deal with their own frustrations and anger issues. I've seen grown men being called names belittling their manhood, grown men being viciously taunted, cursed, provoked, humiliated and vilified because of silly mistakes. I've seen women foam at the mouth, so to speak, as they enjoy subtly shaming the man in front of his friends in order to show who is in control, who is the boss, and most importantly, who wears the trousers. These women are angels by day and demons by night, if you know what I mean.
Can you imagine the guilt of feeling you are not good enough as a man? The guilt of believing that you are the cause of every argument or beating then blaming yourself for the way the other person is behaving towards you? Can you imagine the sheer embarrassment of that macho rugby playing 6ft man who wants to tell someone that his 5ft petite wife is verbally abusing and/or threatening him, accompanied by physically violence? Or how about the man that is completely dominated by the woman, he has no voice so can't speak out and if he dares to freely speak, he knows there will be repercussions? Or the man who used to be social but is now being kept away from family and friends due to his excessively jealous over-possessive girlfriend. She gets into serious rages thinking he is constantly having affairs.
Secondly, Domestic Violence is not confined just to a husband or wife, it can be committed by couples in same-sex relationships, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents or even the in-laws. There are no barriers so you can be rich, poor, black, white, old or young.
Thirdly, as you've just seen, Domestic Violence can also be verbal or mental abuse.
We'd all agree that kicking, punching, scalding, hitting or spitting is physical abuse, but how about belittling language? If this is the case, then how many of us in an argument haven't called our 'loved one' a name or two? Raised our voice in a fit of anger trying to make a point and win our case?
We know there is such a thing as a heated arguement. Fine. We also know there is such a thing as emotional/verbal abuse. So at what point does one become the other?
I'm not asking this out of idle curiosity. If we are unable to answer this question, how can we recognise Domestic Violence when it rears its ugly head?
Don't turn a blind eye to this. Check the stats on the internet. Why? How can you be sure it is not happening to your son, brother or grandfather tonight? This could be happening right now to someone you know. I did say 'silent victims' earlier. These men suffer anxiety, depression, they feel exhausted and deflated as if defeated.
I don't give a monkeys what excuse the perpertrators have for their behaviour, it is WRONG. It should not be tolerated or excused.
Don't be afraid to ask questions if you think something is wrong and show your concern. Offer your help and support. Help that person to find private and confidential assistance from professionals and give that person the information in a private setting.
I would love to hear your views about this topic. I would be grateful for any experiences, guidance or suggestions.