Saturday, 10 November 2012
Is Nothing Ever Your Fault?
There comes a point in life when I feel that people really need to take responsibility for who they are and what they have become. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, neither have I had the luxuries of life handed to me on a plate. I have had to fight for everything I wanted or needed and I have myself to blame for missed opportunities, and for digging my own pit at times. I have had to challenge and oppose the negatives in life in order to succeed or move forward and there were many times when absolutely nothing happened. Life was like a monopoly board, I didn't always know where I would land and how my life would be affected. But, although now, I may be somewhat content, I have definitely not achieved what I wanted to in life but rather been forced to go a completely different way.
So why is it that some people who didn't achieve what they wanted to in life, blame it all upon their childhood experiences? It seems that all their failures, whether it be in employment, in business, in relationships, in education, and suchlike are always put down to the fact that they had a bad upbringing?
Is this really the case? If you have come from a very abusive, manipulating, controlling, Victorian style upbringing, would it be fair to say that right now the mess you are in, as an independent adult, is because you had a terrible childhood? Or should the fact that you made bad decisions and choices mean it’s your own damn fault?
Let me be honest, some people like to play the victim. They have endless heart wrenching stories that would bring tears to your eyes and a key to your wallet. They take no responsibility for what they have become, or where they have ended up and attribute all their misfortunes and misadventures to mummy and daddy's fault. It's just amazing how many people in prison, on drugs, homeless etc, blame their background, but nobody seems to look at the fact that if you don't pay the rent but spend it on booze (alcohol), you will in no doubt become homeless, as an example of course. I'm not saying that there aren't any barriers in society. Far from it, but that does not take away the strong element of choice that individuals have in shaping their own future.
How many times have we seen murderers, thieves and criminals of all kinds, both in real life and on TV crying, blaming everything on their tough background and actually expecting our sympathy!
Have I become so hardened to it all, that I've got my thoughts messed up and our past really does map out our actual future? This is a discussion I've been having recently.
Would you say that your life has really turned out the way you planned it?
What is the reason why you didn't achieve your own dreams?
How much has your upbringing impacted on who you are and what you do in life today?
Would love to hear your views, ideas and/or opinions on this.