Friday, 18 January 2013

Disappointment - My Constant Companion

Disappointment can sometimes be like a ball attached to one's ankle via a long chain. It will let you get so far then yank you back. You want to go forward in life but it's hard dragging a weight behind you. If you sit still doing nothing it's no problem, but as soon as you get up to move, there it goes again - disappointment. 

For many people, unemployment can be that disappointment, which is a constant companion. It's one hell of a road to be on. If you factor old age or should I say maturity into it, it's no joke. Add a little bad health and it becomes worse. 

People are constantly being demonized for being on state benefits, but how else can they survive if they can't find work? Not everyone chooses to sit on their backside and do nothing all day. Some have no choice. Voluntary work may give you an advantage when it comes to gaining experience and so can doing educational courses. But they don't pay the bills. 

Yes, there are some who cheat the benefit system, and some who have no intention or desire to work, but I'm definitely not speaking about them. 

I say all of this because of a number of conversations I've had with some ignorant minded folk. Ignorant I say, because they have not only never been in this situation, but they have an attitude of unrelenting grievance, filled with hate against anyone who does not work for any reason. Their high minded, pompous status in life has somewhat let them down. My blood boils but I keep a lid on it. In situations like those I have a split second choice between one of the following consequences:

 Spend the night in a police cell 
OR
 Write a blog post

I chose wisely. No-one is worth the first route.


The basic reality is that there are people out there who have genuinely struggled to find a job. Some will use every penny of their savings to survive before they accept any handouts. They are not stupid, lazy, scroungers or useless. They are people who would do hard graft if given the opportunity. They are people who would take minimum pay, work nights if they had to, and extra shifts wouldn't be an issue if given the chance, but in spite of all this, disappointment remains their constant companion. 

Why add to the weight they already carry by giving them an additional burden of shame and guilt? Anyone of us could find ourself in this position tomorrow! 

One of my friends was in tears as he explained how his son has become deeply depressed after being unemployed for a couple of years. He's become reclusive, lost self-confidence, lost hope and no longer enjoys going to social gatherings, lest someone should ask him about work. He's applied for countless jobs, had countless interviews, been on courses but yet nothing suffices. What does a person in this position need to do before others are willing to accept that people like him have tried?

Have you even been umemployed for any length of time? Tell me about it.

What are your views on the chronically unemployed?

Feel free to share your views, opinions or thoughts. 

71 comments:

  1. This really hits home with me. It's far too much to get into in a blog comment, but your thoughts brought a bit of sunshine into an otherwise stressful day.

    I wish I could meet you for a cup of coffee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We might not be able to meet for a coffee June, but feel free to private message me anytime, on BC or bloggers and I'll get back to you.
      It means a lot to me that I brightened your day :)

      Delete
  2. You should meet another blogger friend (Graham) over at adullamite.blogspot.com. He has ranted about the difficulties of being unemployed for years. I was unemployed for 3 months, having taken voluntary redundancy, and my planned job falling through. That was enough for me, I panicked and took a job against my better judgement, and ended being in hell for 18 months.

    I know lots of unemployed folk who want their dignity back, and hate being seen as scroungers. Equally I know of lots, particular with long term illness, who feel the state owes theme something. That really gets my goat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like you had a couple of years going through a rough patch Robert. One of the worst things is to end up with a job that you hate. I truly hope that everything is going well with you now. Thanks for sharing your experience.

      Delete
    2. Robert, forgot to say that I will definitely take a look at your friend Graham's blog.

      Delete
  3. Not having a job might be just the worst thing that can happen to a person, it's said that money doesn't bring happiness but I'd rather cry in a mercedes :) i know people who don't have jobs, i am one of them, it brings out the worst in them, either active or passive-aggressive still it's aggressive. Now is the moment when I'd like to be the only one to feel disappointed, or depressed or don't know, down, but not other people, hope that people can evolve into seeing how people struggle and not pass judgments, it's horrible. I wish i could get rich, I'd be able to help out my friends, my loved ones, the people that so many years have helped me and I'd be finally able to give something back, seeing people struggle to pay tuition for their kids, pay for the heat as winter can be really cold in my side of the world, struggle to pay for other bills too, everyone deserves to live, not just survive but actually live, hope you get to do that too - live.

    Good day Rumpunch :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's very brave of you Gabriel to come out here and to tell us how it is and I'm very sorry you're going through this difficult time. I wish you luck down the road.

      Delete
    2. We would all love to live a comfortable life and have enough surplus to help others, but as you know that's not always possible. I don't know what it's like where you live but some people are trapped in areas where there is a lack of opportunities for work, so I fully understand that unless you have the means to get out of that situation, life can continue to be difficult. Thanks Gabriel.

      Delete
  4. Great piece and I applaud you for writing on it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the visit Theory Republic, and I shall be popping over soon to read some of your brilliant posts. You've covered some very interesting topics.

      Delete
  5. Great post, as always. Thought provoking, as always. Thank you for writing, and I'm glad you opted out of the jail cell!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle, there are times when self-centred people just get my 'goat up', they feel as if they are the 'chosen ones', they just don't have any respect. That's when I feel that 'flight or fight' response. In a split second, you can change your whole future, so I took the smart road.

      Delete
  6. Your pictures are magnificent especially the one on here. I feel like I can jump right in that picture into that room. The pictures you post, give me a sense of feeling what the person is going through. And this was a fantastic article, very well written and very true to life with the facts. I have never been employed, luckily. I've been working 24 years at the same job, knock on wood. But I understand where others are coming from and how hard it must be to be unemployed . I can imagine how frustrating it must be for some people who constantly look for work, time after time, just to end up with nothing. It must be really difficult to go through that. My suggestion would be if some people are going through a hard time, to try going to a good church of their choice for prayers. It might help to relieve some stress and burdens off their shoulders.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you are so fortunate to have been employed for such a long time and in the same job. You don't often hear that nowadays. I always say to people just make sure you're putting something away for a rainy day because jobs can be here today and gone tomorrow, nothing is permanent anymore. I'm sure you've got it all covered Susana. Thanks for your suggestion too, as many do find comfort in their faith or belief etc..

      Delete
  7. Never been in the situation luckily! and to be honest I am not sure what I would do if I was in that kind of situation, with my mortgage and all :/

    I hear this over here too, same story some people talk that way coz they have never been in such a situation! if they had to be in there situation they would't speak that way for sure. "Leaches" they call them over here! some do abuse from the state founds but the genuine cases are not just a small number and many are just too proud to ask for help as many have never been in such situation. un-employment seems to increase unfortunately and I'm afraid we will encounter more of these cases...

    Glad you brought up such a topic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've come across many people, especially those that are more mature (age) who are way too proud to accept state benefits or ask for help. They use up all their hard earned savings and stay without for a long time before they give in. I truly believe that they are the ones who deserve it the most, as a majority of them worked damn hard and paid into the system.

      I fully agree, that unfortunately this is not the end, and more people will find themselves unemployed. Thanks Hotei.

      Delete
  8. I've had several spells of being unemployed over the years, and I can tell you that the situation for the individual has got worse. Forty years ago, I got an interview for every job I applied for, but nowadays you may not even get an acknowledgement of your application. It can be extremely demoralizing to spend a day on an application and then hear...nothing.

    Thank goodness for state support in such situations. I was unemployed for eight months in 1984-85 in Hong Kong, and I had to cash in my pension fund to survive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you talk to many of the older generations, and I'm not saying you are old, they all tell the same story of how they left school, with or without qualifications and they could find a job the same week, or even if they completed a written application they would always receive a response of yes or no. Nowadays, employers are either not bothered or don't have the time to even say that a person was not successful.
      To me, it's bad practice, because people spend weeks hoping that they will be selected only to have their hopes dashed when they feel they have waited long enough. It doesn't cost anything to send someone a polite email of rejection.

      Dennis, it's a good thing you had a pension fund, otherwise you might have had to make some very different choices in Hong Kong.

      Delete
  9. You described this issue EXACTLY AS IT IS!!!!
    Very, VERY GOOD post!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I was unemployed for a while simply because there were no positions in my field available in the rural area my new hubby and I settled into. I looked diligently, and did short-term work I could as it came available. I now look back on that time with gratitude, because it kept me at home while my children were small, and gave me a great opportunity that many moms don't have. Yes, there are many who milk the system. Yes, there are those who take advantage of the system. BUT - imagine the cost of removing the system from those who genuinely need it! Can we afford the staggering effects of poverty and crime and their sidekicks when even more people are driven to desperate measure to feed their families? There are lots of people very willing to spout off about issues they haven't ever been forced to deal with... As in all real issues, there is never a nice and tidy cut-and-dried answer, is there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, a negative was turned into a positive, as you had a period of time to raise your kids. A blessing in disguise, if you know what I mean Melody.

      Even now in the UK, the state benefits system is changing and many people are angry because some are already struggling and they have no idea how they will pay for everyday things. When people become desperate they do desperate things. I don't doubt that crimes will increase due to this. Thanks for you comment as always Melody.

      Delete
  11. Being unemployed is a very difficult situation for so many people - especially since 2008 and I have a huge respect for thos who continue to be positive and look for work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment. I've been on both sides of the fence Lanthie, and when I hear some of the things people do trying to find work, I admire their fight. It's a hard road.

      What happened in 2008, if you don't mind me asking?

      Delete
  12. Born with a silver spoon, but by the end of teenage, family had huge trouble- so dropping out of collage seemed a good idea (learning doesn't need a certificate though!) and finding a way to do what I love most- build a company and keep my foot stand with my passion. First ten years, it was disappointing- nobody willing to join a venture without getting sure its well funded. Many times I hired people then find they doesn't willing to do the hard work- a few do, teach 'em all I know, they moved to other big funded company soon enough since they want shortcut for their success.

    No, I didn't have to face unemployment but tried to make jobs with little to no money at times, been experienced many reason why people couldn't change their fate-

    Why would you keep being unemployed because you only want a job that would secure all your future and for your grand children, too? When you're doing things right, still not finding a job- why would you complain? If you're not complaining, accept your disappointment- keep moving forward.

    So far seen so many people who willingly doesn't try hard enough or keep complaining mainly because they find its easy to complain than try harder.

    I never able to 'complete' a task without disappointment- but that's what is the key of my strength. I learned not to give up because when I can't able to do something I find the reason and try to solve it.

    Sorry to be anonymous. BTW hating people isn't a good habit including boiling blood for whatever reason other than your passion- :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment Anonymous. I can't speak for everyone but I know that some people on full state benefit will only take a job if the pay will cover all their costs. This is because if you are currently having your rent, council tax etc fully covered by benefits and still have enough money to live on afterwards, why would you then want to take a very low paid job which does not cover the above? It's like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, so to speak. People want to earn a decent wage to live a decent life.
      This is a huge problem because the government is now saying, why should those that are working be worse off than those that don't work? So things are slowly changing. Hope I've explained this well.

      There are some people who complain and do nothing about it, and others who try extremely hard until defeat kicks in. It's also about opportunities too. As an example, what do you do if you are in Gabriel's position?

      No apologies for being anonymous. I'm happy for people to get their point across this way, if it suits them. I hear you about hating people, and shall take it on board. Thanks for stopping by and hope to hear from you again.




      Delete
    2. Thanks Rum-punch Drunk. My home country doesn't offer benefits, your people are lucky to have that opportunity!

      From my experience I've seen without getting involve in a job you'll start to lose your skills in around two months- the more you stay unemployed the more it starts to effect your life. One of my elder brother spend five years without having any money making job- he always used to get away by bringing some reasons, excuses- then finally he realized its his life he has been ruining. Even though he was the brightest person, he starts ignoring family events, lost his friends, and a lot of times his logic sounds very stupid. Now then once we able to get him into jobs, his behavior getting better. I believe in another five years time, he'll lough on his past actions- in the meantime we making sure he doesn't get enough rest, and keep tight his working schedule!

      You shouldn't work just to pay your bills! Even if your government pays it- even if you're on fire you should be working!

      Unless we've same shoe in the very same situation and environment, and without knowing a lot of things- its always tough to suggest how one could or should make money for living- So may be my suggestion doesn't apply for G'- but If I were him, I would not spend much time on Blogging until I gather some skill and may be have a good standing on freelancer sites like Odesk etc or have a offline job!

      I remember, to get access to the internet (dial-up was only option back then) I had had to make around 1400-1500 meters long cable connection on my own (with a help from a friend) from a relative's house to my house since we were just move in and I would have to wait around 5 or 6 months or more otherwise. To cover the cost of a unlimited dial-up connection I hunt down two more of my friends- and split the bills with them so I could afford being a student and keep learning about internet for my career.

      There are always ways out there, may be you've to just pick it up (with or without a lots of effort or smartness, or luck whatever), disappointment or giving excuses hides the ability most of the times.

      My 2 cents.

      Delete
  13. I admire your compassion for the down and out, RPD; it's a quality that's become increasingly hard to find in this day and age. I was unemployed briefly a year ago, and for a couple of months back in 2008. Fortunately, I had a decent cushion of cash, so I was able to enjoy my time off. As a parent of young adults, I understand what a struggle it is for people who really want to work to find a job. Both of my sons are working steadily, but it took one of them a couple of years to find a job, and it wasn't for lack of trying. I despise the selfish, judgmental attitudes many Americans (and foreigners) have regarding social programs and helping out their fellow man. They complain about the poor feeling entitled, yet it's the privileged who seem to have the worst entitlement issues. It's the machine of corporate greed and big business that's put so many people out of work. If we valued people's lives, instead of money, we might not be in such a fix.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good thing you had a stash of cash to play with Helena. America is really no place to have no job and no savings. I feel that it's much harder to survive in the USA than the UK.
      I think we should all encourage the younger generations to put a little aside when they can afford to, especially the way things are going right now, but I know it's hard.
      Ah, I won't comment on corporate business as don't want the blood pressure to rise again, but you said it well. Thanks for commenting Helena.

      Delete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is a wonderful post! Full of compassion and understanding for those having a rough time in life. I watch my sister go through the same thing you described above. She was unemployed for almost 3 years and struggled financially the whole time. Most people do not choose to be unemployed. When you go through this the last thing anyone needs is for people to turn their noses up at you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shauntee, part of my compassion and understand also comes from the fact that I've been on both sides. I have been deeply offended when people have the audacity to make wild sweeping statements when in fact, they did not take the time to even ask about the lengths people have gone through in order to find work. There is only so much a person can do, and constant rejection time and time again can get you down, make you ill, and suck the life out of you. I hope your sister has succeeded in finding a job that she is now enjoying :) and thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  16. I've seen people abuse the system, which is why I want to have drug tests instated before you can draw. Having said that, I was on unemployment for over a year and would have been on it longer if I could have. (They extended it a month after mine ran out, so I couldn't get back on it) It was a life line, and saved me for as long as it could.

    My issue was, that the job I was fired from had a great pay rate for what it was, and the rules were I could be on it as long as I didn't find a job that was a higher pay grade. Fact is, in the area I was, I couldn't. I got turned down for being 'overqualified' and all sorts of other reasons. I remember one time I went to a job, and my resume said I enjoyed a 'fast paced' office environment, so the dude told me that he thought I'd get bored and quit. yeah....

    It was hard not to get horrendously depressed, and eventually the money ran out, and that's when the depression really hit. I moved back in with my parents, and there were even less jobs there. I stayed there a year dealing with depression until I moved in with my aunt near Little Rock, Arkansas. Found a job a month later.

    Problem is, now that I'm living with Lisa, there's no jobs to be had here. But I don't qualify to unemployment. There are days I look at our finances and feel like a burden, like a major hinderence. I have no clue what to do, and worry almost every day, though I keep most of it to myself.... Most people don't understand what it is like to be hurt on the job, and then fired because of it. They don't understand that yeah, I'm 6'3" with broad shoulders, but I cannot lift 70lbs repeatedly without hurting myself again. Its a sad fact of reality, and very few people understand, as most just see a big strong guy that SHOULD be working.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just wanted to touch on the drug test aspect for a moment. I'm all for ensuring that deserving people get the support they need, but I wonder if drug testing invites a lot of pitfalls. As you've noted, being out of work for an extended period of time can be defeating and lead to depression. I think it's fair to assume that under these circumstances someone who might not otherwise have turned to substance abuse might see their lives as going nowhere anyways, so "might as well."

      Now, you might say that such a person is of weak will and is undeserving. I would disagree with that. Everyone has their breaking point, and perhaps that time when a person is at their lowest is not the time to be judging them.

      Another angle would be someone who lost their job, and got roped into drug dealing because he needed to provide for his family. Is he a criminal? Absolutely. But credit where credit is due, he's also enterprising. Who's more worthy of a job, the guy who sits on his tail playing xbox or the one hustling so his family can eat?

      And lastly, in the legal system we consider extenuating circumstances. I would argue that being out of work, in context, is a massive extenuating circumstance. So while you might find that many undeserving people are in fact on drugs, I suspect that there will be more decent people that fall into that category than you'd expect. I think they ought to be cut some slack.

      Shrug.

      I understand I haven't offered a viable alternative here, and I regret that, because I'm big on not raising a point unless you're going to offer value in return. But I think this is why social welfare issues end up so hairy. No one has a great answer for how to distinguish the well-meaning from the schemers. If that ever did happen, I'm sure we'd see a top to bottom shakeup just about everywhere.

      Delete
    2. Dan, it has always boggled my mind trying to work out some of the reasons why employers turn people down for jobs. Over qualified - but shouldn't this prove that you can do the job hands down? Under-qualified - they want you to have a load of qualifications which has nothing to do with the job that you want to do! Experience - but how else can you get experience if they won't give you that job? I could go on forever giving examples.

      I empathize greatly with you, because you do feel as if you are a burden to others, you feel useless as if you don't really have a place in society, and I've felt embarrassed at times when everyone else is talking about their work and you basically have nothing to say. I've been there, done that and got the T-shirt. All those things going through your mind and someone else can just casually say 'you should be working'. Huh.

      I can only encourage you to stay strong, don't give up hope and you are a valuable member of society. Thanks you so much for sharing your experience here Dan.

      Delete
  17. I ran an outplacement company for almost 20 years in Australia. I provided counseling and support one way and another, for literally thousands of individuals. So I can tell you first-hand that being unemployed is not 'your fault' in the vast majority of cases and it's hard-damn hard, to get re-employed. Don't believe the unemployment stats and think there's something wrong with you. These stats are phoney and if you are of a 'certain age' many employers don't want to know. If you're not then the dice is still loaded against you. But this does not mean 'give up'. No, it means the reverse, you've got try even harder, but more importantly smarter as well. i saw each re-employment as a personal victory and because I was an employment consultant before that I used to turn the tables on how to win.
    Good meaty post and this is the longest comment I can remember giving. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice to see you here Neil and I'm glad for your comment because you've raised some good points about the unemployment stats, and age. You have also been in a very good position from experience, to know how some people feel and that there are genuine people who have a strong desire to work without success.
      Thanks for the visit and hope you return again to join in the discussions.

      Delete
  18. Boy, I sure am in the minority here. As a 24 year old student, I've never held a job, let alone lost one. Sure, I've kept busy with unpaid research work or maybe gotten some grant funding, but nothing that really outright qualifies as a job.

    The truth is I've been very lucky in life, and it's easy to forget how lucky when you're surrounded by people in the same boat. I think that's what happens to a lot of people who mischaracterize out-of-work people.

    As humans, we like to categorize things. We see in-groups and out-groups. So if I have a job because I am a hard worker, then everyone else in my in-group (people who have jobs) must also be hard workers. By extension (albeit faulty logic), those who do not have jobs must be lazy, right? It's easy to come to the erroneous conclusion. It's much harder to step outside ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neel, I really like the way you explained the 3rd paragraph of your comment. It makes good sense to me. I'm glad that you can also clearly see how lucky you are right now, in the midst of all that is going on. Things in life can change on a daily basis, so today you're in one boat and tomorrow you find yourself swimming to get into a different boat. So, do not hesitate to also make plans for a rainy day.

      I hope that you succeed in passing all your exams, and that you get the job that you're studying towards. You are young, and the world can be your oyster, so grab any opportunities that come your way. Thanks for commenting Neel.

      Neel, I really like the way you explained the 3rd paragraph of your comment. It makes good sense to me. I'm glad that you can also clearly see how lucky you are right now, in the midst of all that is going on. Things in life can change on a daily basis, so today you're in one boat and tomorrow you find yourself swimming to get into a different boat. So, do not hesitate to also make plans for a rainy day.

      I hope that you succeed in passing all your exams, and that you get the job that you may be working towards. You are young, and the world can be your oyster, so grab any opportunities that come your way. Thanks for commenting Neel.

      Delete
  19. Speaking as a young person in the UK its a pain in the arse to get a job especially if it's your first job as everyone asks for experience (even the shops, pubs and restaurants do) After a year of looking for work after I left school (trying to find part time work to go along with college studies) I eventually found my first job though I was unable to continue the college course as the job was full time hours. Since then I've been incredibly lucky job wise as I've been working for nearly seven years. I shall soon be travelling for 6/7 months in the hope that it improves myself personally with my main worry being not being able to get a job when I return. I know I'm very lucky to have been able to save the money to travel over the years but my reasoning for it is improve my lack of confidence/ interpersonal skills which hold me back from getting a job that pays enough for me to get my own place one day and maybe even have a family. Great blog as always :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jamie, you've done very well as a young person to have had a job for several years and also had the mind to save money towards your future. Because of that you now have a great opportunity to travel, something that most young people don't get to do. Go for it Jamie. You only live once, and it sounds like you've got your head screwed on. I'm sure you'll return full of confidence, experience and new skills to say the least. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing.

      Delete
  20. My husband lost his job 3 months ago, and here we are, 90 resumes later and still no job offers. The only ones available are such poor paying jobs and offer no insurance--it's not even worth him taking them. We need health insurance most of all, and very few are offering it. My husband is 56 years old--it's slim pickings out there for him. We have some saved up and have been living off that plus whatever comes in from the state. I don't feel guilty about using that money because my husband has been paying into the system for 40 years since he first started working--I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I am sure there are plenty who would frown upon it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too right Menopausal Mama. 40 years paying into the system? Claim it mama, claim it, and without shame.

      I don't know much at all about the American system, but I've heard that health insurance is a big thing. I seriously don't know how people cope with that. If I get sick and need to see a doctor, dentist or need an operation etc , I don't have to worry about costs, so it's not a burden to me at all. I have a relative in America, and it's a constant worry that they don't get ill due to all the costs attached.

      I'm hoping that sooner or later your husband will get work that covers the health insurance, but please do try and stay positive as much as possible (easier said than done).

      I've told you this before, you really need to sort that TV series, film, book and menopausal mama club out. I know it will be a great hit. I also know that your husband is also a good blogger (could end up writing a book too) when he hacked into your computer and replied to your emails via a blog post in November, he was really good. Thanks for sharing your experiences Menopausal mama.

      Delete
  21. Hallelujah and amen brother!! I hear you and I am so totally in agreement with you. I have no clue how some people can be so cruel and uncaring.

    What is truly sad is that half the time, if not more, they don't even realize they are in the wrong!

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a point Jackie, it's a bit like what Neel Joshi said in his 3rd paragraph. But sometimes they do know exactly what they are doing, and they feel they are actually superior. Thanks for the comment Jackie.

      Delete
  22. This really touches a raw nerve with me and I completely agree with what you are saying. Some people are so small minded and rather then think that every unemployed person has a different story they tar them all with the same brush of the 'worthless unemployed' I have had the label of lazy and stupid pinned on me too many times to count!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry that people felt the need to label you this way, but if those same people were to take a good look at your poetry/writings then I'm sure they'd eat their words. You're far from lazy or stupid Jade. Keep your chin up, keep up the good work. You're already done a play, and I'm sure there's a lot more on the horizons :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the kind words Rum, I'm sure they would still see my writing as 'frivolous' but I don't care I am very proud of myself and that's all that matters :)

      For years I thought I was fat and lazy (mostly thanks to other peoples comments) and I only found out in 2011 that I have an under-active thyroid and will be on tablets for the rest of my life for it. The main symptoms are fatigue and easy weight gain! You should never judge people before you know the whole story.

      Delete
  23. Hi Rum-Punch Drunk. I redid my comment because I noticed some errors after I had posted it. (I’m recovering from the flu, well, that’s my excuse anyway LOL!) I totally agree with you about the attitude of those who look down on people who have had a difficult time finding work. There is a terrible attitude about that very topic here in the U.S. among certain political groups.

    To answer your question: Yes, there have been periods of time in the past when I was unemployed for quite a while. Before I was married I had a couple of job layoffs in a row. After a while unemployment runs out. My regular field of work would be secretarial or editorial. But with high unemployment in my state and jobs scare, I took any job to pay rent, such as cleaning houses, or working on a factory line at an irrigation plant (that was hard work! especially for someone not used to manual labor), and even some jobs I would not put in print. I would never look down on anyone struggling with unemployment.

    Going forward in time to after I married, my husband went through some job layoffs in our early years, including a company he worked for that went out of business overnight. That was hard, often we barely got by. We actually had to sell our furniture back then to pay rent. Part of the reason why I could not adopt a child in those years (after an operation that lessened my ability to naturally have children) was because our income was just too low to even be able to adopt. So from my past experience, I understand firsthand what it feels like, as a single woman and as a married woman, to be unemployed or have someone in your home unemployed, and I understand the life consequences. I have a great deal of empathy for those who truly look for work and can’t find it. I would never consider them stupid or lazy. As the saying goes, "there but for the grace of God" could be any one of us at any time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JerseyLil, we see people on a daily basis in terms of what they have attained to today. What we don't see is the struggles that people like yourself have gone through in order to survive. Selling your goods is no joke. It shows how desperate you must have been to pay your rent/bills. I have said this before, and I'll say it again. 'Living in America is no joke if you ain't got a good job' (my personal opinion of course). From what you have said, I can see why you have so much empathy. I'm grateful for your comment JerseyLil.

      Delete
  24. Totally agree with you Rum-Punch. "Walk a Mile in my shoes," "There but for the grace of God go I", are a few of the phrases that come to mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. C'mon Nell, give us the heads up on your story, so we can also virtually walk in your shoes.

      Delete
  25. It is so unfair to be judged for something that for many is completely out of thier hands. This past year I witness two of my closest friend lose thier jobs and desperatley search for another with no success, one actually almost went homeless, eventually had to leave her apt and move in with relatives because not even the system offered as much help.
    So sad that people judge others in general, but even worst when they are at the bottom.
    Good post!
    Madison:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the thing My Meddling Mind, the way life is today, nothing is certain and nothing is sure. So regardless of what position we are in right now, we really can't say we'd be in the same position tomorrow. I feel very sad when people try so hard and lose everything. Some have even taken their own lives because they couldn't cope with the mounting debt that unemployment can bring. Good to hear from you and thanks for sharing your story.

      Delete
  26. Hi RPD!

    This post is a double entente!

    One accords the disappointment of lack of work.
    The other, more important to my viewpoint, accords disappointing in itself.

    The first is just a social conundrum, and I wrote "just" because it is created by the relationship of human beings, not for not being unimportant.

    The second is the real issue, if you make an investigation on the psychological side of our species, you will find there is no one who can claim absolute satisfaction in life.

    Disappointing is the real motor of our life, we have an infinite hole in our soul (or call it whatever you want, it is there) and the impossibility to fill that infinite is a fertile ground for disappointing.

    After a long life, well not that long, on this planet, I am convinced we will never succeed in fill up our internal infinite, and after this life ended... who knows?! :)

    I am not too elated in this matter!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Od Liam and good to have you back and well. As usual, you bring your own unique perspective to the discussion!

      Yes, you're right, disappointment is another ball-game, in and of itself. But I still feel that those who are doing their best and already struggling with the rejection of not being able to find work should be supported in their struggles, certainly not condemned.

      Delete
  27. I've been unemployed most of my life, and have truly enjoyed it. I chose the life of a bum because it suited me, and because I have very few wants and love living simply. As for those who look down on others for whatever reason, I take no notice of them. They are resentful, bitter people who either lack tolerance or compassion, and usually both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NP, It's a bit of a shock to hear you so upbeat about such a negative issue. But, then again, I guess that's all par for the course with Mr Happy Go Lucky. Just wish you'd let the rest of us know where you get your happy pills from and how much they cost! Love n Respect, you always give me a great big smile :)

      Delete
  28. My fiancee' has been out of work for quite some time due to a medical condition. She hates it and wants to go back to work. I know how it is.

    Also, I am nominating you for a blog award. Setting up my post soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can just imagine the frustration she must be feeling. It's one thing not being able to find work, and it's another thing if there is work available, but you just can't do it because of ill health. I wish her the best in regards to her health, hoping that in time it will improve. Thanks for your comment Phil.

      PS: Just to say, thank you for nominating me for an award. I will PM you about it later.

      Delete
  29. I spent a year unemployed one time when I was thirty, I could have found work, but my problem was that I had worked in commission based shark tanks for about a decade, and had lost the ability to deal with the sharks. I was then forced to restart my career at the bottom, and found myself surrounded by 17 year olds when I did, doing meaningless stressful work for very low wages, with no room for any meaningful advancement. I eventually ended up unable to get up in the morning, and of course the next thing I knew I was unemployed, I was not a burden on the taxpayer however, I paid my own way, but I realize most people can not do this, and I do not mind my taxes going to many of these people. The lack of social contact from work did get very depressing at times.

    I was unemployed about five years ago again also, again I was just unhappy with my work, and stopped showing up. You might think I am lazy but that is not the way it is, I work very very hard, day in day out, for years on end, and do an excellent job, but I tend to get upset when nobody notices it.

    I started my own business five years ago, I paid $10 a year to rent a website, learned to program from free stuff on the net, and started finding things to sell on it. It has grown into a real business now, I work upwards of sixty hours a week, and never have trouble getting up in the morning.

    I have empathy for your friends son, when your down it is hard to find work or socialize, sometimes work is not all that is needed, but rather work with meaning, and that is rare for an entry level position in today's world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know what you're talking about, it's hard to be motivated if you are extremely unhappy.

      So many people find themselves in meaningless, low-paid, stressed out jobs, and this too can take it's toll on your relationships, marriage, family life etc. Not everyone has the means to get out, so I can see how unhappiness, depression sets in. It must be a nightmare having to go to work each day if you're in that position.

      I'm so glad that despite what you went through you eventually found your niche in society by creating your own business which is thriving. A positive end to negative past :) Thanks for sharing your experience PBScott.

      Delete
  30. Great post, as usual, and some very interesting comments. Personally, I have never been unemployed. I have been underemployed where every two weeks, I had to decide who would get paid and who would not. And those bill collectors hounding you on the phone. This ordeal lasted for at least a couple of years, and it's no joke. And of course, this lot was not mine by choice.

    I do believe that too many people, at least in the US, tend to be too judgmental on the unemployed and the underemployed.

    I know that some of the strong and negative feelings people have toward the unemployed who are drawing unemployment benefits have do with the abuse of the system they see. I personally know of a couple of people who abuse the system and that does bother me. But we must be careful not to extrapolate that to apply to everyone else who is living on unemployment benefits. Our local government needs to become more proactive in seeing that the help gets to those who genuinely need it, but the system will never be perfect. But then nothing else is either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I certainly don't envy your past position on deciding who will be paid week after week. Too much of a burden if you ask me, but someone had to do it. I'm sure it took it's toll.

      I too feel that the government needs to do a lot more in fraud detection when it comes to benefits. The minimum they could do is to check out if people were genuinely suffering from illnesses. People have been caught playing football, going on holidays or lifting heavy shopping whilst claiming to be fully disabled. And at the end of the day, they can't repay the money they got from the state, simply because it took a long time for them to get caught.

      If the benefits offices did more to check out the facts once a claim had been made, the fraudsters wouldn't have been paid so much money in the first place. You are right in saying that the 'system will never be perfect', but changes can be done to tighten it.
      Thanks for you sharing your views Frank.

      Delete
  31. It must be nice to be at a level where you have the right to judge someone. Lucky for those that life has never offered this situation to them. My heart goes out to anyone who can't work, no matter the reason. May God bless everyone - those that need assistance to get better and those that don't to open their hearts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a beautiful generous comment. Thanks Donna.

      Delete
  32. You cried this far, but still you have much to go.
    You think of gasolene, but while burning it hurts your eyes.
    You speak till you are tired, of what you will do with some dimes.
    Sit here, the world didn't make any sense.Every sip of rum, blurred the confidence.
    Still, discarded on a stage with half of nothing.waiting.
    for one, two, three, Go!!
    And to defeat rumors and lies.
    Your soul travelling through times.
    You land on your bum.
    wE ALL DIE YOUNG IN DEFENCE.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This poem beautifully sums up what I'm trying to convey with this post in an artistic form. Thanks.

      Delete
  33. I lost my job in January. It was pretty devastating because I had no idea how my family would make it. Being the optimist that I am, I decided this was going to turn into a blessing and not a curse. Losing my job brought me back to my first love in life - writing. I've been spending my whole life working on Plan B (the 40 hour job), rather than pursuing Plan A - writing. Since I decided to commit myself to this, all kinds of blessings have opened up to us. Guess what - no hurry to get back to work. Truly living the dream. In pajamas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I call:
      Turning A Negative into A Positive

      As long as you can afford to stay comfortably in your pajamas, then why not. Blessings are not just limited to only those in full time jobs :) I'm wishing you all the best with your writings.

      Glad to hear from you A Cheeto Named Larry.

      Delete

Feel free to speak your mind but please keep it respectful.
Disrespect will be happily deleted.
Thanks for posting!

hostgator coupons