Saturday, 16 February 2013

Behind the Mask

I came across this short 3 minute video which literally gave me a whole heap of food for thought, especially when combined with a recent TV news item.
 
Firstly, the man in the video. He seems to be a vagrant and a thief, yet he is working to better himself. 

 
Secondly, the man in the news - Oscar Pistorius, known as the 'Blade Runner', a national hero who this week ALLEGEDLY murdered his girlfriend. As the days tick by, allegations of domestic violence are revealed against the man who had the perfect image. 

 
What could these two men possibly have in common? A mask.

 
Take a good look around you. Sometimes what we see is definetly not the truth about people. Yet, in reality, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we do actually make judgments about what could be nothing more than a mask.

 
We think we know people, but how can we really know anyone?



What's your story, do you wear a mask to hide what's really going on in your life?
How do you form your opinion of others - on what basis do you decide?
What's the biggest surprise anyone has ever given you when you saw what they were behind their mask?

I would love to hear your views, comments and opinions. 

67 comments:

  1. Hello RUM-PUNCH DRUNK,
    I am the new follower of your blog.
    I am really afraid of those people who wear a mask but it is very difficult
    to find out that who is a mask wearing person .
    GREAT POST.
    Aunt Mary
    easyway1234.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey, a very warm welcome Aunt Mary and a big Thank You for joining my blog. I hope you stay around to enjoy the conversations here.

      I see what you mean, as some people are very good at masquerading themselves around. It is difficult, as you say, but I think that the element of time is one thing that can help us to get to know who they really are.

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  2. I put on my mask and face the world with undaunted jaunt,
    smiling and networking, the world oblivious to my inner haunt:
    the frailties of my inner insufficiencies,
    the fears behind my facadial lies.

    I long to leave my mask behind,
    but I fear the world may find,
    the real me,
    just me,

    inadequate.


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    1. Oh Robert, I really love this poem, so relevant to the post too. Did you write it specially for the occasion? Thanks mate, its a good one, and thanks for commenting.

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  3. I think sometimes it seems to us that people are wearing masks, when it's really a matter of us not really knowing them. I've certainly misjudged people, and I'm sure the reverse happens as well. In life, including social media, I'm pretty much who I am everywhere, so what you see is what you get. I'm not pretentious. There are some situations, like work, where a few people make it impossible for you to get to know them; they're not transparent at all. I've discovered that these tend to be the folks with something to hide, like being two-faced backstabbers. Fortunately, people like that are few and far between.

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    1. Ah Helena, a reverse angle, putting the onus back on us, and I like it as was not thinking of it that way ie: 'us not really knowing them, because we're not able to see them as they really are'.

      Like you, I tend to be roughly the same person in real life as I am as a blogger. I don't understand the point in having different faces for every occasion. I obviously have to change accordingly to what's appropriate at the time as some situations warrant it, and our relationships with different people are varied. But I still try to remain true to my character, values, morals and beliefs etc.

      And Helena, don't get me started on 2-faced backstabbers, we have loads of them around. They pretend to be your friend today and would throw you on the fire tomorrow laughing as they pour petrol with a match in the other hand. A day later, they are at your hospital bed wishing you well. Like I said, don't get me started...
      Thanks Helena.

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  4. Some people probably think I'd be better off with a mask, as I'm (cursed) gifted with rather blunt and complete honesty. Being too honest sometimes has it's drawbacks when it comes to pissing people off, but I'd rather be accused of being blunt and insensitive than of being dishonest. Masks seem pointless unless you wear one all the time - otherwise it's going to be obvious when you're not being natural - and if you do, who's to say that isn't the real you? After all, if you do something that often, does it not become your natural state. It's the same a believing your own hype.

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    1. Good point Dalecooper57. I always say be yourself and be honest rather than portraying someone you are not. I've lost many a good friend for being upfront as people don't expect quiet old RPD to have a voice at times until I open my big mouth. Be real is my motto. I'd rather have a true enemy than a fake friend.
      Thanks for stopping by to express your views :)

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  5. we are not even aware that we wear masks until we begin the inner journey and begin to discover our true selves, hidden in God

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    1. In one way Motherofnine9, you make a great point because sometimes we believe we are a certain type of person, but it's not until we are put in an awkward situation that life reveals to us that we are not who we thought we were.
      Some of us truly need that inner self cleansing for the real person to finally come out and join the world. Thanks MO9 - hope you don't mind me shortening your name at times.

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  6. I think most of us wear masks - and many different kinds.

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    1. Yes and No Donna. Why wear a mask if you are just being yourself all day long? No point. Some change masks throughout the day in order to appease and get on with everyone regardless, contradicting themselves and being fake.

      To me, some people are like shifting sand, continuously changing and moving in different directions. I sometimes have to ask myself, 'who are they being today then?', if you know what I mean. Thanks Donna and I shall be visiting you again soon.

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  7. What is our real self? One time a person appears to be one thing, and another time something completely different. Our impression of someone depends on their actions, on their conduct, and that can cover a wide range of behaviors and is constantly changing. People are always surprising us, and we are always surprising ourselves, as we discover new things about ourselves and them.

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    1. I see what you are saying NP, but if what we present to the world is completely different and alien to who we are in private, surely something is amiss. Either we are actively misleading people, or the world is too blinkered by its own prejudices to see us as we really are. Either way, I would suggest that this is not an ideal situation.
      I do welcome your point that as we grow we discover and learn more about ourselves, especially when confronted with unexpected situations.

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  8. Sometimes, the whole world looks like a fraud, because we have to look good in front of others. No matter how much we care about them or they, about us. Maybe I'm also wearing a mask, of all the things that i have done in the past and that I wish I had had done. But I would never kill someone to prove the point.

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    1. Kappa, depending on you view of life, the world can look like a very daunting place for true. I feel we first need to feel good about ourselves and not always focus our attention on what others may think of us, otherwise we have to chop n change our personalities / characters constantly to fit in. This does not make a happy life ( just my opinion, as others may disagree).
      Although I have done many things in the past, I still need to be true to myself.

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  9. i think with or without mask, one cannot really see another clearly by short time frame (some time even for long time). masking is one thing, another thing is our observation would not give us the completely unbiased fact (i admit that people may be able to do better than others, it depends on how stubbornly we stick on our own experience and beliefs).
    personally i do not wear mask. there are things that i would feel uncomfortable to talk about, but i would not purposely hide them. i prefer put everything on table. sadly, that's not how the "social life" works :-)

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    1. Thanks Yun Yi. I guess it sometimes takes time to really see people for who they are and our life experiences really can make a difference in some cases.

      It's also true, as you point out, that we're not obligated to expose the private, the personal or the intimate. So might it be fairer then to only call it a 'mask' when we deliberately portray a false image?
      It's good to hear from you Yun Yi.

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  10. My friend,

    Perceptions and misconceptions. My opinion of others is never based on convenient assumptions and stereotypes. I see another person for how we interact and how I get to know more about them. I have worked with the homeless, the rough sleepers. The tales I could tell. Stories of folks, decent folks, of teachers, of people who had a 'normal' life, shattered by a negative environment that came upon their world.

    To some degree, my personality out in public, might be a form of a mask. I am the guy that makes them laugh, makes them feel good. Inside, is a very scared man who is trying to cope with his mental illness. Yet, I remove the mask when I blog and I'm comfortable with such transparency. I think it helps other relate to me and think about what's happening in their lives.

    Peace be with you and thanks for a thoughtful article.

    In kindness,

    "klahanie" aka Gary

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    1. I think you've had a good experience of seeing both sides of the coin, so to speak. You've seen good people fall into terrible circumstances through no fault of their own and by interacting with them, you can clearly see that they were doing their best.
      Klahine, I've heard this many times, that people with mental illness wear a mask to those outside, and are brilliant in helping others but when they are behind closed doors, in private, that mask naturally comes off and the mental illness takes over again. Blogging is also a very good way to just say what you feel without reservation. I'm sure you have helped many people to deal with their own mental illness, and it also makes others know that they are not alone. I think you also write in a way that informs those that don't have mental illness to truly understand what goes on and how people can feel. This is so important, as some people think you should just wake up in the morning and be happy because you are alive, and that is definitely not always the case. Thank you so much for your commenting Gary.

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  11. Very interesting article. I just wrote an article today about trying to not judge a friend of mine who told me that she picked her friends according to their job and clothing style. I was really taken aback for a few days. It felt like she had a mask on and to be honest, I didn't like what I saw underneath, but after some thinking, I realised she had opened up her true self to me and I had judged her for being who she was. But who am I to judge? Nobody is perfect after all and I think everyone wears not necessarily a mask, but perhaps different hats depending on the situation we are in.

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    1. Ah OneBigMistake, andSome. I get what you are saying here, and the fact that your friend is being honest, but are you only friends because she likes your 'job title and clothing'? Did you challenge her on this, or choose to accept her as she is, 'warts n all'?
      Thanks for your comments and I'd love to know your reply.

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  12. I believe some people put on a mask because they feel inadequate but still need to fit in with others somehow. The mask is what they think will be acceptable. Maybe later when they feel more at ease they can gradually remove the mask.
    Some people put on a mask to hide their real intentions.
    Will a politician smile and say anything he thinks will bring him more votes?
    Will a salesman put on the mask of a friend who is helping you get the "best deal"?
    I try to reveal my true self but if I feel threatened I tend to just smile and be quiet. If I don't like what I see in the other person I leave. I avoid confrontation because most of the time it's a wasted effort. If I see some honesty I'm ready to accept them,remove my mask and open up to them.
    I try not to judge anyone.

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    1. John, I think I'd answer this in a similar way to Yun Yi, so please see my answer to her, posted just now. I think most people would feel as you do about only letting their guard down around people they feel comfortable with. Thanks for sharing your views John M.

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  13. I love this post! You always get my mind going with your thought provoking writings. I used to wear a mask, and hid from my fears. I put on the mask so everyone would see this pretty, put together package when inside I was a mess. A hot mess. That is what my blog is about, letting go of the fear that held me behind the mask for so long. I hadn't thought about that in a bit, so thank you for sparking this in me. I needed the reminder because I do not want to wear the mask anymore. Namaste

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    1. I'm glad you've taken your mask off, Michelle, because you are truly blossoming like a butterfly. I remember the confusion some time ago when you wrote a blog post and then one of your friends decided that she wasn't happy with it, and you then wanted to change it, only for you to get loads of positive comments. That was important because you dealt with your fears and didn't allow one negative response to keep you in your fear.
      It doesn't matter if we get something wrong every now and again but don't let fear keep you from trying. Always good to hear your voice Michelle.

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  14. I have a tendency to be too open. Sometimes I might rub people the wrong way, but hey, I do it honestly. I am blunt and to the point, but I also try not to hurt feelings. Sometimes the ugly truth has to be told. Sometimes you can soften what you have to say.
    Right now at school I am not very open with my fellow classmates. I think that has led to a common opinion I am stuck up. Meh, I don't like them because they back bite. I really can't stand people who talk about everyone else while they are not there. It is bitchy, cruel, and I refuse to open myself up to that, refuse to be party of that. The less they know the less they have to talk about. It's not really a mask, just keeping my matters to myself.

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    1. So true Jamie, sometimes more is less, if you know what I mean. I've been in countless situations where before the person even gets out of the room, their so called friends are back-biting and devouring them. Well, at least you know what's going to happen the next time you leave the room.

      Good for you, keep your standard and do if fairly.

      I prefer a person who says uncomfortable but fair things to my face, then at least I know where I stand. Always a pleasure to hear from you Jamie.

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  15. I don't actively try, but I do find myself acting differently when it comes to interacting with friends or colleagues compared to family. I don't see it as wearing a mask though, maybe I'm just a bit reserved when I'm with people I'm not really close with. Though I find that I can easily tell if a person is trying to keep up appearances and is not being sincere.

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    1. Could it be that what you have said it quite normal, because most of us will naturally act differently in the comfort of our own home with family. It's good that you have the ability to see if someone is sincere or not because, to me, that's important (a skill in itself) As I said before, that's very different from deliberately projecting a false image. Thanks for commenting William.

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  16. I've lived my entire life with people who wore masks every single day. I've seen how nice they act around other people and let their demons when they're home. I've seen how embarrassed they are when they meet people in case I've done something wrong (allegedly) and how they let me have it when we come home. I can't be fake, I think that being sincere and straight with people is the best policy. And I keep fake people far far away from me. I just can't stand them. The way they talk to me, they way they treat me makes me feel like I am an idiot. Well I don't want that - arrividerci my friends, don't wanna see you ever again. Fake bastards.

    P.S. Good post :)

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    1. I too don't like fake people Gabriel, and they do nothing more than con others. I always try to confront them when I get the chance too, as they may not realise that what they are doing is wrong or maybe their whole intention is to attract vulnerable people. Who knows? Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

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  17. Hiya! No ma'am I don't have time to wear a mask, it's way too much work. I'm pretty transparent, meaning if I ever wanted to tell a lie I'd be found out that second, I'm just a horrible liar. lol. But I do judge people for the mask they wear, yeah I know its bad but it just drives me up the wall that people hide and such. What could I possibly say about someone who has faults? We all have them, it's just when people don't admit it, and try to play on your intellegence! Also, I get judged for not wearing a mask. That's why I have very few friends, meaning 1 friend. :) I think a lot of people think its normal to hide their face, look at how the world lives. No one knows no one and they seem to like it that way.

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    1. Oh, it's good to see you Angela and I know where're you're coming from with this. You like to just say it as it is, but it's not always appreciated or accepted. Given the choice between a room full of acquaintances, or one true friend I know which I would choose. Hoping to see you back soon and thanks for your comment.

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  18. Dude... Another really good "Thought Provoker." You really know how to post "reads" that truly make you think.

    I would love to think that with me, people see me for who I truly am. I would like to think that I do not wear a "mask." In public, in private, at work, at home, out with friends, etc., I hope I am the same. At least, that's what I strive for.

    I enjoyed the video and am pulling for this guy... The "Blade Runner" and the shocking news this week: Wow!!! I will be following this story closely as it plays out. So sad for this young, beautiful lady and her family & friends. Very interesting.

    Awesome post, Buddy. Take care, Slu

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    1. Thanks Slu, this story is really opening up lots of avenues for Oscar Pistorius, which I'm also following via the news. But I'm so glad you mentioned the young lady's family, as I'm sure they are going through a terrible time right now. My thoughts/prayers go out to all of them.
      Thanks for sharing your views Slu.

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  19. You can never know a person completely people can be deceiving. A mask...I put a mask every day to hide what I feel or what I am going trough perhaps to protect my self or those around me. How I form opinions on others...I most of the time follow my instinct before consulting my brain...

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    1. Was not thinking about a mask to protect your own self, but that's another good angle to look at Hotei. Maybe the person we are on the inside is not who we really want to be, so we try to change ourselves to something 'better' in a hope that we will change in the long run. Just a wild thought from your comment.
      Like you said though, I have learnt to follow my instinct more than I use to, as experience has told me that I am usually right - but not in a boastful way. Great to hear from you Hotei.

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  20. Powerful video you shared here, with so many messages, but I saw consistency, whether masking to hide or masking to survive.

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    1. One of the things that is coming out here is that masking arises for many different reasons, and that it's not always a calculated thing. Sometimes it can be borne out of a sense of vulnerability or perceived inadequacy.
      PS - tried to leave you some comments on your G+, but I don't have an account there. I keep having a read though. Thanks Selya.

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  21. This is a controversial subject... but where is the difference with all your other subjects. :)

    I have walked most of the roads of this little rock we call Earth, and my experience, albeit the protestation from most of us human beings, shows we all use a mask, some of us, a half mask as the 'Phantom of the Opera', some others like the people in the lusty reunion of the Kubrick's movie "Eyes wide Open", and other covered up from toes to head, as the Carnival disguises in Venice, but there is no one, at least I found not one, totally open.

    Maybe there are those that try to 'shock' their truth into society collective conscience, or some who are under the need of telling something about themselves, but you can wage your left foot that always there will be something else, most of the time unutterable in public.

    Of course, this is my opinion, the outcome of my interaction with people. There always be the possibility of those who are as candid as they seem! :)

    Your questions demand to be too open, so they are not candidly answerable, as can be proved in all these comments. :))

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    1. Great comment, as always Od Liam. Just a wild thought, though, as you spoke of various examples of masks. How about bloggers who use avatars? Ha ha! I'm included in this, of course. I'm nowhere near as attractive as the some-what handsome British bulldog I've chosen to represent me!

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  22. wearing a mask need not necessarily be evil. As long as you don't mean harm.
    Like, in public we tend NOT to do certain things that make others uncomfortable, but with people whom we know will not mind/judge, we tend to be ourselves.So some of us do wear masks for the benefit of our fellow humans.

    Some others do it for their safety, like bloggers, who mostly tend to hide behind a pseudonym.

    So yes, sometimes I do wear a mask but making sure that nobody is hurt in the bargain.

    And then, there are few others who do it for their own benefit, may or may not causing harm to others. yes there have been instances where I have encountered such specimens in my life. But luckily, I have not been harmed beyond repair! somehow I always sensed through their faux.

    And as far as getting to know someone really well? Ah well, I don't even know myself really well. Who Am I?

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    1. This is pragmatic. Does it harm anyone or not is as good a place as any to start. As to the question of knowing, someone was telling me about a book they read, something like the following in a Philip K Dick novel the other day: "But you don't know me", to which the answer was "I don't know anyone"!

      Truly appreciated all you have said here Nina, thanks.

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  23. Not all masks hide sinister motives (although many do). For example, at work I carry myself a certain way, always thoughtful of my image. Outside of that professional atmosphere, I'm more relaxed and a completely different person.

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    1. Yes, professionalism is another sort of mask.
      I don't suppose anyone would want to hear their surgeon say "I'm not really 100% sure what's going on... I'm in the middle of a messy divorce, my kids hate me and I'm just about holding it together, but I'll do my best! Just trying to make it through the day the best way I know how".

      I'm joking, of course. Your point is a serious and valid one. Thanks Kyle :)

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  24. What a powerful video, Rum-Punch Drunk! Thank you for sharing it. I am basically a straight-forward individual. What you see is what you get. I don’t believe in being phony and I really don’t have much use for phony people, I abhor BS. I am pretty much the same in real life as I am in the blogosphere. About forming opinions of others...I’ve been judged (or rather misjudged) so often in my life, I try to be careful not to judge others or form opinions of others too quickly. I prefer to be open and flexible in my thinking.

    One of the biggest surprises anyone has ever given me when I saw what was behind their mask was a woman I knew years ago. She operated her own travel agency next door to my freelance typing and desktop publishing business. Always very friendly, she’d come by my office to chat and have coffee. She seemed motherly and liked to give advice; she was a good 20 years or more older than me. When I was preparing to move from Southern California to Northern California, she asked about buying my office materials. I agreed to sell her half at a discounted price. I wanted to bring half with me so I’d have supplies to start up a new freelance business once I got settled. As I was packing up the office, she came over, offered to help, put a majority of the office supplies, including boxes of paper, ink, and my portable copy machine into her van and took it over to her office. She said that will give you room to get the office clean and come back tomorrow for it and I’ll pay you for what I’m buying.

    Well, the next day, she was gone, her office was empty. I found out where she lived and she denied ever taking anything from me or ever agreeing to pay me for anything! Wow, she really turned on me, and I was so trusting because I thought I knew her, I never thought to get anything in writing regarding the transaction. I persisted but she refused to budge, even having the nerve to act like the injured party being falsely accused. She knew I was moving 600 miles away and with nothing in writing, any legal action would just be an expensive hassle. So I had to let it go. Later, I found out she was a con artist and her travel agency was just a cover for money laundering. Obviously, she was also a thief. Lesson learned! Her mask was pretending to be a legitimate businesswoman and motherly lady, thereby gaining trust and then deceiving.

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    1. That's what you call a real con artist. The ones who have the 'balls' to stay around long enough to befriend you and gain your confidence. And if they are older, you're more likely to think that they wouldn't do this to you.
      If people are that slick and you didn't get a gut feeling that something was not quite right, then what can you do? From what you have said, I think I too would have been taken in. It could have been much worse but thankfully it wasn't. I guess we live and learn.

      I tend to call people like that 'sociopaths' because they have no feeling or concept or empathy etc for anyone else, it's all about them. You get bloggers like that too, who try to con you on every opportunity.

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience JerseyLil. I just hope others read this and also take caution.

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  25. I was raised in a very proper family so I guess you could say I wear a mask of politeness. I never, ever want to hurt people or disappoint, so I learned at an early age to slap a smile on my face no matter what I thought and learned to be diplomatic in ALL situations. Now that I am older, those smiles have slipped a bit as I reveal more and more of my true self. I despise people who are fake, and I don't want to ever be lumped into that group. HOWEVER, there are times when you just need to be nice and polite no matter HOW angry you may feel inside or even if you totally disagree with someone. Sometimes you have to do these things out of respect--especially for our elders.
    Probably the biggest surprise for me as far as the slipping of the mask goes is how many humorous bloggers like myself that I have found this past year that suffer from depression. I never would have guessed it because their posts are always so funny and upbeat. Maybe that's why their humor is SO GOOD---they see life from both sides--the hysterical and the terribly painful, dark side. Either way, I believe EVERYONE wears a mask to a certain degree---it's simply human nature.

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    1. This is something I've thought about a lot, as my earlier post on depression shows. Sometimes I think that depression is a symptom of seeing life TOO clearly... and the impact this has on fragile humanity. That would explain why depression so often walks hand in hand with talent and even genius. Depressed people see life - with it's mask off. You're spot on with this comment. A scary thought. Thanks Menopausal mama.

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  26. Hmm, I like to wear a camera and think it suits me quite well. And then I like to wear a smile, if you surprise me with your friendly honesty.

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    1. It's just amazing what photographers see on a daily basis, whilst most of the time they are hidden behind that machine. They have habits of catching us unaware when we are most vulnerable or when we least expect it. But, they also have a knack of showing the world what really lies within at times. Thanks Angelikas.

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  27. I have met quite a few people (mainly in my family and 'so-called' friends) that don't want to see beyond the mask, everything is about appearances - as long as they look like the good guy then that's all that matters and if any real evidence gets provided that they aren't it's quickly gotten rid of (and that includes people that disagree with them) Also I know I have a mask and it's a source of comfort to me, I don't let anyone close now and that's best for me :)

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    1. I'd seriously ask whether living based on appearances is really living. I mean, it's got to be a lonely existence experiencing that level of isolation. Can you imagine waking up every morning and as soon as you hit the front-door you have to pretend everything perfect?
      I've always thought that in relationships being known is as valuable as knowing. But that's just my view, of course. Good to hear from you again Jade.

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    2. My Mum and Husband always see the real me :) lol But I have heard of people that can't let the guard down even for their husbands/wives or kids and that's sad. I once heard of this woman who used to get up hours before her husband, make herself perfect before she woke him up and then on the night went to bed hours after him! In all thier years of marriage he never saw her as anything but the perfect mask, very odd lol

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  28. Interesting video, and once again, a thought-provoking post. Sometimes, by necessity people wear what others might call a mask. For instance, about 20 years ago, I was pastoring a church, and the congregation struggled financially for many years. Being the pastor, I was directly affected because the church work was my source of income. Oftentimes, the money was not there for me to pay my personal bills on time.

    Anyway, I still had to encourage the people who came to church each Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. They didn't come there to have a pity party with me. Because of that, I had to always put the best face forward. I guess in a way some might call this wearing a mask. But for spiritual leaders, we see it as as a necessity so we can minister healing to others even while we ourselves are wounded.

    Anyway, great post. And I do agree that when it comes to people what you see is not often what you get.

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    1. Yes, this leadership role is akin to Kyle's comments above about professionalism. I wouldn't personally ever compare this to mask-wearing in a deceitful sense.

      People need to know that the christian walk isn't always an easy one and the leaders can relate to their struggles. Christianity is not about money, fame and fortune as some have preached (and I know that you're not into that Frank). It just might help others see that their leaders struggles and vulnerability, just like everyone else. I appreciate your comment Frank.

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  29. Very cool video. As for me, I do wear a mask sometimes. I don't like to show people that don't know me really well when I'm hurting or really down. Misery doesn't always love company.

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    1. I've heard of that saying before, but would you say it was fair to make people believe that you are always happy and bouncy and having fun in life when that is not always the case? Just a wild thought, but you don't have to answer, as I'm just being nosey again. Thanks for commenting Janene.

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  30. It can be shocking. Long time ago we used to know this school teacher for years, and she seemed like a nice person. Then later she got herself into a lot of trouble and lost her teaching license. So that was really weird, sometimes we just never see the bad side of the person till the end.

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    1. Yes, JerseyLil gave a brilliant example of someone who was deemed to be 'nice'. What did this teacher do, if you don't mind me asking? And thanks for your comment Susana.

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  31. Hello there!

    This is my first time visiting your blog and I am already liking it a lot. You seem t write very well and your ideas are very deep, I like that too! ^^

    So, in this post you ask about masks...

    To your first question my answer is time. With time we might or not, be able to trust others. All depends in a series of factors, but trust and empathy must co-exist in first place. Otherwhise, at least in my case, that will be very dificult, even impossible to.

    For many persons, yes, I do wear a mask indeed. I do that to protect myself of being hurt by others. I fake smiles many times, as its more easy for others see me smilling than see me crying. I got betrayed too much times in my life to be able to trust easy on others. Its very hard to me to open my heart to others, except to a very few persons, Hotei included. He must be one of the unique persons who see me trully smilling, and laughting. ^^ Not that others don’t desserve that… Its more that I tend to take some time to trust others, unless they start showing me they trust me for real. If they do that, I do the same.

    I work as Conseleur and Spiritual Advisor. Sometimes is very hard to be there, simply calm and peacefully, listening to others persons problems, some very hard to handle, and me only listening, not showing my real emotions…sometimes people say I have a cold heart, as I don’t express to them my emotions.

    Sigh…

    If only they knew! It’s not easy, but I must do that…I can’t loose my mind, I must be there, strong as I can be, to get the strenght necessary to help my clientes and friends, who are in need!

    Being able to do that really makes me happy, even if sometimes I look a cold hearted person…thats not my real me...but I dont fake either...hope you can understand what I want to express :P

    Well, to form my oppinion of others I tend to observe and analyze. I like to think, and I love when I can have conversations that make me and the others think and share. I think its one of the best ways to create oppinion. Also, for me its importante to spend time with others. Good and less good moments.

    Wise people say: “it’s in the harsh times you know your friends” and I tottaly agree with that. That’s something I value a lot in persons.

    For your last question, I invite you to read a post in my blog called “Eric”. That is the most perfect answer I can give too you to answer this question.

    Thanks for this moment, I will start following your blog! ^^

    Best Regards,

    Kuma Gwanni :3

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    1. A very warm welcome Kuma, I've been hearing about you from Hotei and I'm so glad that you have taken the time to read my post and leave a comment too.
      I also believe that sometimes it's during the harsh moments of life that you really get to know who your friends are, as I have experienced this many times myself. I will definitely stop by to read your post called 'Eric'.
      I appreciate you following my blog and hope to hear much more from you too :)

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  32. That is an engaging video! I liked the grit and devotion of that man.

    This is an inextricably complex world humans have woven and there are times survival depends on the mask. People wear them in the workplace, clubs, markets and worse, at homes. Brutally put, I'd love to knock the gas off the filthy bowels of my supervisor (now, don't you get ideas!), but I wish him a beautiful day, day after day. But. I hate the pretenders of all kind. Apparently, there is a threshold that must not be violated. As for Mr Pistorius, he pisses me off no ends.

    Yours is an exquisite blog!

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    1. I hear you umashankar... I think...

      We'd all love to be 100% real, but then if we told certain powerful people in influential positions what we really thought, then there would be some harsh consequences. So perhaps when some people sit down and do their sums, their decide it's not worth it. Who can really blame them unless they're in that position?

      That's the complex world we live in. I guess a pragmatic approach is to choose which battles are worth fighting.

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