Friday, 29 March 2013

Rep to Protect

"It's not your job to like me, it's mine" - I've chosen to open with this quote by Byron Katie but... isn't it an impossible dream?

C'mon now, let's be honest - when your feelings get hurt and you say "I don't give a monkey's what anyone thinks of me" out of sheer bravado, are you really being honest?

I believe that deep down all of you out there care much more about the opinions of others than you would like to let on.

I'm ready to admit that I have a rep (reputation) to protect if you know what I mean. It's important to me that I do all I can to uphold my good name. My reputation is what identifies me. A bad reputation equals a bad name and can lead to serious repercussions.  

Aesop's fable about the 'boy who cried wolf' brings this point home powerfully. The boy undermines his own reputation to the point that when he does have something of vital importance to say, no-one believes him, with tragic consequences. To not care in 'anyway' what people think about us, is in a sense, an act of self-sabotage.


As for real life, who believes a liar, trusts a thief or shakes hands with a dodgy builder? 

Your reputation can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Have you ever thought that your reputation could be what's standing in the way of you moving forward.

So when you walk out into society, make your voice hold weight in public, make your opinion count, let your judgement change lives - your reaction may cause a stir for the better or worse and all of this based on your reputation. 

Let's take a moment to carefully consider our reputations...

Do you think reputation is important? 

What is your respect for others based on - ie. what makes it grow or lessen?

Is there anything worth sacrificing your reputation for?

I love to hear your comments, opinions and views on this.

81 comments:

  1. Interesting topic. Yes, your reputation is extremely important. But at the same time you can't let it get in the way of living your life. I have always been very reserved and worried about what others may think. Started opening up once I started blogging and very often I say things (and write about thing) where I only consider my own views and not care about others. Has made me a much happier person. I think the trick is to find that fine line.

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    1. Lanthie, people can worry way too much what others are thinking, to a point where they're not being themselves and that can have a negative impact.

      So it's good to be yourself but the same time also take into account the impact which your words, actions etc have on the view others will take of you. Thanks Lanthie.

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  2. I think Lanthie has it right. There needs to be a balance. If it comes to being yourself or changing to please others you come first.

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    1. Oh yes, you can come first but would you risk coming first if it was at the expense of your reputation? Just a thought John and thanks for your comment.

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  3. I only have a few people whose opinion I give a toss about. Other than that, if you don't like it, sorry but that's your problem not mine. Life is too short to worry about what other people think, as long as you're not intentionally hurting others that is.

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    1. I see where you're coming from Dale, but if your bad reputation was preceding you in everything you did and was holding you back in life, despite the fact you was not hurting anyone, wouldn't you want to do something to change it? Or would you still not care and carry on as before? Thanks Dalecooper57.

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  4. The older I get, the less I care about what people think about me... I can only be me and not what other people want me to be....

    I do however think that a reputation is important but even it can be repaired with true intent :)

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    1. Thanks for sharing your views Launna. I know what you mean about age. The older we get, sometimes the more stuck in our ways we become, ha ha ha.

      I agree that reputations can be repaired, but it is often a long, hard struggle when compared with how easy they are to damage. I'd say prevention is better than cure!

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  5. Reputation is certainly important, and so is the opinion of other people. If someone thinks badly of you, regardless of whether they are someone whose opinion matters to you, it shows that there's possibly something they see that others could too. I guess the point is you have to work out if their opinion is valid, not their approval.

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    1. Loved what you said Kellie. It's true. Just because you don't care about someone's opinion doesn't mean there might not be some valid feedback there. It's good to have a hearing ear.

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  6. Greetings my friend,

    My reputation, or how others might perceive me. My reputation is based upon the circumstances of a situation. For instance, my ex-wife's husband thinks I have a reputation of being a selfish man who drank too much. This reputation of me was enhanced by my ex. Yet, that reputation perceived of me is not the actual reality.

    Mostly, my reputation is that of somebody who is altruistic and stays discreetly in the background, doing things for others with little fanfare. Such a reputation can be somewhat of a detriment. For there are those who perceive my altruism as a way of taking advantage of my good nature.

    Reputation is important and I would like to think that most folks see me as the genuine, caring man who challenges his mental health issues and has raised his son as a single father. If my reputation is skewed, so be it. In my heart, I know the truth.

    Enjoy the Easter weekend.

    In peace and goodwill,

    Gary

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    1. You made a very interesting comment Gary because sometimes a good reputation can have a negative impact on the actual person simply because people will, and do abuse, and take advantage. "Taking kindness for weakness". I've seen it so many times.
      Thanks for raising that point because I didn't think of it like that until you mentioned it.

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  7. I think a reputation follows our life choices. If I choose to be honest and open in my dealings, courteous and compassionate in my interactions, without fail, my reputation will follow my actions and choices like a string of pearls... The same is conversely true for ignorant, false, or treacherous choices - these eventually betray even a 'managed reputation'. Many of us were raised to 'look good', not to 'be good' the two are widely different. One requires PR management, the other releases us to be free to live without worrying about reputation, since it will fall into place built upon our careful choosing during a lifetime. Reputation follows a life, it is a consequence of how we choose to live - and as such, yes, it IS valuable and important! Reputations help us in many cases to avoid the wrong kind of businessperson, or a dangerous situation.

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    1. Melody, great comment and I loved the way you broke it down. Yes, a good exterior should flow from a good interior. I suppose the complications arise from that naughty side of us (which I think most people have) and the issues that can arise from it. Thanks, as always Melody.

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  8. I do think reputation is important, and a good one is the goal I should set for myself. That being said, about five years ago I had a terrible reputation. Burned bridges, broken promises, tarnished dreams were all part of the destruction I'd left in my wake. I woke up one day, put a stop to my dangerous behavior and made a change. Every day since has been a work in progress to a better Michelle. I have rebuilt my good Rep :) Someone once said to me "what other people think of you is none of your business". While I do want to have a good reputation in business, home and otherwise, I have to focus on me and try not to let what others think control me. It's a daily effort! Thank you for your post, quite excellent as always :)

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    1. It's good to see that you had the time to change your reputation from one thing to another Michelle. Not everyone gets the chance to do that or are successful in doing so. It's good not to let anyone control you by their thoughts but I personally feel that's it's good to know what others say about you. Nice One Michelle :)

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  9. I have not given too deep thought to this personal picture. It always was as if I walked the right lane, especially lately when my work really depended of what other persons think about me.

    On a lighter note, reputation is like looking for the right rhyming word when writing a poem.

    It is important in the mind of the reader not in that of the writer.

    This particular notion comes to me looking the way politicians move their pieces when playing the power game on the public board.

    If I ask anybody about these special kind of living organism, I am sure I will receive an answer about how good Jane Doe is and how bad John Doe work for the public service. Only if we look closer we will find that except very few exceptions all of them can be put in a bag, that is human nature, of course. I found this trend as much in the Western as in the Eastern World, all over from North to South

    So translating this to personal behaviour I feel the temptation to draw a nice picture of mine and then hide behind it. Not too decent a way to live, but useful:)

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    1. Oh, I mustn't get started on politicians, it will drive me crazy. A classic example is of one man who committed a crime quite some time ago, but every time they refer to this man in the public media, he is not presented as someone who has totally changed his life and become a better person but in relation to his crime. They just have to mention it.

      I like the image you use of hiding behind a picture you paint of yourself. It begs the question then, that if someone then admires it, whether they are really admiring you through your creation...
      Thanks Od Liam

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    2. We must forget politicians, they are not good examples to be taken, not worse than some other of ourselves, only they are more visible, also temptations are nearer and easier. Besides, if they do not accept compromises, sometime "non sanctus", they have no opportunities to act in their work.

      To draw an image, and show it to the world, hiding behind it, is just a temptation. It is not decent to show an unreal self to people, and not to learn to correct behaviours that can annoy, friends and foes. :) Besides, lies have short legs and it is very difficult to keep them alive for people, like me, with not too good memory!

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  10. When I was much younger, I acted as if I didn't care what other people thought of me, but looking back, I see that it was just a front, and in reality I did care that I left people with a positive impression. Nowadays, I find that I don't want to be thought aloof and uncaring, and I act accordingly.

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    1. Thanks for your honesty Dennis. I'm sure many of us used a front in our younger days which even we believed in. But with age and experience you get to know yourself better. I'm glad you've chosen to allow others to see that you do have a caring nature.

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  11. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will devastate me.

    Fact is, we are built off of what others think. Sure you CAN go around living oblivious to all, but it will always come back to bite you. I lived my youth in the shadows, never really developing a 'rep' one way or the other. People would come get advice from me, and somehow that garnered respect.

    Later in life I settled in to what I do now. I normally let people dig their own grave, but I ALWAYS let someone know when they've gone too far.

    Beyond that, I tend to let my actions speak louder than my words. When I do something I do it hard, and I do it right. I never do anything half-assed. When I speak I try to be clear and concise and intelligent. And when I make a mistake, I own up to it.

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    1. Thanks Dan. Actions do speak louder than words, and when people don't know you well, it's your 'actions' that they look to. If you had a reputation for being offish, bullish and ignorant, then I don't think people would have found you an easy person to approach for advice.

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  12. Is there anything worth sacrificing my reputation for? Yes, my values. It's been happening in the blogging world a lot lately, when I'm forced to choose between what I feel is right and pleasing others. But the truth of the matter is, whichever you choose, some people will think you did the right thing and some people will think you did the wrong thing. As long as I think that I did the right thing, my reputation is going to be what it is.

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    1. This is a difficult dilemma. It makes me think of Dietrich Bonhoeffer (just had to look this info up) a pastor in Germany during the rise of Hitler. He was slandered as unpatriotic, subversive and even disloyal to his church because of his condemnation of Hitler. It would be nice to think that in the majority of cases, good works would produce a good reputation but sadly there are also examples when this is not the case. Perhaps yours is one of them. Thanks for commenting Karen.

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  13. Lao Tzu said, "Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner...if you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." There was a time in my life when I cared a lot about reputation and what other people thought, but as the years roll by, I find myself caring less and less about that sort of thing. I'm much more interested in the person behind the reputation than the reputation itself. As far as my reputation goes, I don't really know what people think about me, and I don't spend much time thinking or worrying about it. What other people think of me is none of my business. I try to treat others with the same degree of compassion I have for myself. I still let some people get under my skin, especially those who are outright nasty, and am working on letting things like that roll off my back.

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    1. Just as a thought Helena as I feel you are a strong minded and focused woman. You're in the medical profession big time. Do you think what others say about you ie: patients or colleagues, would or could have an impact on your job or future at work? You see, you might see it as 'water off a duck's back', but because of what you do I feel that reputation could have even more consequences for you than the average person, if you know what I mean. What do you think? And thanks for your comment.

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  14. Thanks for posting this article. You're right our reputation partly makes us what we are. If someone has a bad reputation I pretty much avoid them. It's important to have a good reputation and I can see why.

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    1. Thanks Deaf47. Reputation plays a major role for me when I'm looking for any work in my home to be done such as electricians, plumbers etc. Any inkling of a bad name and I'm not interested, after all, they can cause more damage than good - and all at your expense!

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  15. Of course deep down inside we all want people to like us and respect us. Our reputations are important and it builds how people perceive us in society. Respect is earned and actions speak louder than words. Treat others as you want to be treated. To be oblivious to what others think and feel about you is not the smartest way to go through life especially if you want to be accepted in society.

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    1. Way to go Phil, my food-porn procurer! It is good to at least have some knowledge if possible of what others may think of you, even if you don't need to act on it.

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  16. Everybody hides behind a persona to a certain degree--especially those of us who are blogging and basically spilling our guts for the entire world to read. And at certain times I think it's important to keep our good reputations intact at all times---at the work place, club meetings, community service projects...sometimes even at family functions! But EVERYONE has a dark side, perhaps a secret that they just can't share. The problem is that it eats you up inside over the years, and you NEED to have a safe place to let those demons out, reputation be damned. The next best thing is having a good friend to confide in--someone who will never judge you--just hold your hand and say, "It's Ok, I understand you." And that may be the ONLY time and place that you can let your hair down. That's where you find your relief from trying so hard to uphold the public reputation that is necessary to maintain....for the sake of others around you.

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    1. So true. We all need to have an inner circle we can go to. People we can let our guard down with, confide in and pour our hears out to. But trust is important, as you can't do that with everyone. So I guess reputation counts the other way in this instance - you only put your confidence in those YOU deem to have a good reputation. Always good to hear from you Menopausal Mama - a woman with a very good reputation in the blogging community :)

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  17. This is a great post, awesome topic! Indeed thought provoking. Wish I had more computer time left here in the library to further elaborate, but I don't so I will come back to this post in the near future.

    Madison:-)

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    1. Good to hear from you Madison. Hoping that you do get to get some more computer time, as I loved to hear your take on this. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to stop to read and leave a comment and hope to hear from you again soon.

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  18. I love the quote.

    Now for the rest... The older I get the less I give a toss about what other people think. We can't change how people perceive us, can't make someone like us - I just think it's not my problem. I've got better things to be going on with in my life:)

    Have a safe and happy Easter, look forward to more of your posts - I'm quite liking them.

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    1. Ah, that's the old age kicking in Michelle, stern and firm ha ha ha. I was saying something similar to Launna above in the comments. Thank you so much for sharing your views.

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  19. Age brings self confidence and knowing that "you can't please all the people all of the time." You must be secure as you live out your life that what you do is of value and that you're being true to yourself. On the other hand integrity and honesty are of the utmost importance. Building relationships and building trust leads to success and happiness.

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    1. Thanks Carol, wise words. There seem to be quite a few people out there who have experienced that the older you get, the less you care about what people think. As Shakespeare wrote "to thine own self be true and it follows that you will be false to no man".

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  20. very interesting topic. like some other people's replies here, i did care about my reputation more than i do right now. i realized, i am very different in many ways, i cannot please everybody so it's better to go with my own way. essentially, i know people can tell i am a person with good heart, and that's enough. and if just because i am different so some people think i am a "bad" person, that would be their problems.
    i think, since we would hold some common characters in our nature, so just being myself, "reputation" cannot be too bad... so i do not see the point that we have to deliberately live to build our reputation.

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    1. edit: i think, since we hold some common characters in our nature....

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    2. Sometimes people are very ignorant when it comes to accepting anything that is different from themselves as they see it as a negative rather than embracing it. This can also happen with different cultures who sometimes get a bad reputation due to a small minority people. Thanks Yun Yi.

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  21. This is such a hard question! I think it depends on the day. There are so many days that I feel so at ease with myself, and I can truly say that I don't care what others think. Then, the next day, I'll wake up feeling just a bit less self-aware (does that make sense?), and I'll have a moment of worry: Are there people out there talking smack about me? But normally, I will very soon come to the realization that truly, it does not matter if there are or what they are saying. Because I am so very, very happy to be me, and that's all that matters. Wow, you pulled some serious thought out of me, and that's hard to do as I like to make everything into a joke. :)

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    1. Yes, I understand what you are saying here and glad I was able to get you thinking. It's true, the amount we care about what others think of us can often depend upon how confident we're feeling within ourselves. Good to hear from you Shay and hope you will return again soon.

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  22. A very though-provoking post and related inquiry! I can already tell that I am going to dig your blog.

    I think it is imperative to remain true to ourselves, so - in this way - our outward projections of the most authentic version of our inner selves SHOULD be directly synonymous with "reputation." The problem, however, becomes that annoying human habit to pass judgment, and more often than not, the judgments we pass are some variable of our deepest personal issues and are, therefore, negative more than positive. So, I think - as with all of Life - building a reputation that accurately illustrates who we are involves a conscious balancing act of caring about the judgments and/or observations of others, and not caring. When we start to care too much about what is outside of us, we don't give proper attention and maintenance to what's inside. This can lead to (and I have witnessed this on more than one occasion in my life) a person redefining themselves and - by association - their reputations to meet the judgments and expectations of someone else.

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    1. Welcome Akashic and such a great comment. Sometimes we are in danger of becoming the very thing that we are trying to escape by adhering to negative judgements and acting on them. I would say that, in trying to build a reputation there is a certain line that must not be crossed, or we begin to betray our 'authentic' (to use your word). I like your analogy of the balancing act of the inner world of the self and the outer world of others.

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  23. Reputation. I was always told to never do anything I would be embarrassed to see in the newspaper the next day, and you don't need to worry about it. People will judge, but if you can hold you head high, then the reputation you are sending out is how you choose to live. One of the worst parts of humanity (to me) is how we judge each other. So I try very hard not to think about things like reputation or gossip. I try to judge it's individual on my own interactions with them. I fail miserably, but I try. I have met some pretty great people with some pretty lousy reps and vice versa. I think I would rather take a fellow human being at face value, for who they are today to me, than worry about their past actions and the motivation behind them. People lose their way and come back. I think most people learn a lot in that journey and become a better person for it, but are left with unfortunate reputations.
    A good friend of mine met "the man of her dreams" at 14. She got pregnant. A few weeks after the birth of her child he hit her while she was holding their daughter. In a screaming fight the girl kicked him out, and refused to talk to him that night, turned off her phone. The next day she opened her messages to threats, long rambling messages of love and hate, and finally a message saying that he would kill himself if she did not call him back. As she found out later, long before she got his messages he made good on his threat. Now, keep in mind, this was a 15 year old CHILD. Not only was she immediately postpartum, and a single parent, but she just basically got blamed for the suicide of her daughter's father. Enter best friend of that man, being a sounding board, comforting this poor child.... and totally taking advantage of this confused girl. Oh, and getting her pregnant. I have known this woman(now in her mid-twenties) my entire life. She is an awesome person, fabulous mom, smart, hardworking, but her reputation... When people hear stories about her it is not as someone who was taken advantage of by older and abusive men, but her as a slut who slept with her boyfriend's best friend weeks after he died. Yeah, I try really hard these days to ignore reputation.

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    1. What a story and what a great point you made with it. It is extremely hard to rectify a bad reputation unless people like yourself are willing to give them a chance. I'm glad that you took her on face value and throughout the years you clearly can see that she was not the 'slut' others refered her to. That's a classic story of how things can be percieved in the wrong way when the facts are not known. I also liked your litmus paper test of being in the papers the next day - how many people this has happened to for true!!!
      Thanks for your comment Jamie and always love to hear your point of view.

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  24. rpd, this may sound flip, but I don't mean it to be. The only reputation I care about is the fact of being alive. As long as people can still say about me "Marty's alive"-I'll consider my reputation intact.

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    1. Ha, ha ha ha. You're Alive Marty, You're Alive.....
      But on the flip side, Hitler was alive but it doesn't' mean that he had such a great reputation, if you know what I mean. Just a wild thought in my strange mind.

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  25. Remember the uncoordinated late bloomer from high school who is almost unrecognizable as he's grown six inches and filled out at his reunion? His nerdy reputation has changed for the better, while others best years were in high school. I agree that it's important to maintain a good reputation, so that no one ever questions your integrity. Great post Rum-Punch Drunk!

    Julie

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    1. Nice one Julie. Yes, our physical appearance, social status etc. is so changeable, but integrity should not be.

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  26. You always ask such good questions. For me it's not about my reputation, per se, but I hate being misrepresented. If people don't like or disagree with me on certain things and it puts their undies in a bundle, it's their problem not mine. But if their feelings are based on something that isn't true -- some rumor or innuendo -- then it bends me out of shape.

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    1. I sometimes feel the same way Janene. People can and do say what they like but it does get my 'goat up' when the wrong information is being branded around as fact, when it is actually wrong. I just want to go and put it right. Thanks for commenting.

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  27. Such a coincidence you talk about reputation. Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking about the fact that our actions affect our parents and families. I have a lot of respect for my parents and respect the religion they decided to live by, but I don't believe in it myself. Still I try to be careful about what I do and how I act because of the way it affects them and their reputation. I don't stop myself from doing what I love, but I will be careful how I do it if you can see the difference.
    One comment was saying that with age, you care less. I experienced the opposite. I didn't used to care nor did I try understanding why my parents were so worried about their reputation, and mine as well. Now I understand better. I still do what I wish but I am careful about my reputation 'cause it does count a great deal.

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    1. I glad you mentioned this brilliant point, that our reputations can have a great or devastating effect on our loved ones or those around us that we care about, sometimes without us even realising it.
      Thank you so much for sharing your views OneBigMistake, andSome.

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  28. In my opinon, reputation is everything. It is literally the difference between being a success or a failure. I think a rep is built on being reliable and accountable on a consistent basis. Take your blog for example; I know that whenever I click on your site, I will receive interesting, throught-provoking content. Hence, you have an excellent rep :-)

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    1. Thanks for the compliment Kyle, now you've got me under pressure to stay match-fit!

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  29. My reputation and what people think of me is of paramount importance to me. I try to always treat others as I would wish to be treated myself. Even when I disagree with someone I always try and act with calmness and respect. Differences are good they are what make us who we are but disregard for someone else is just wrong.

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    1. I think it's always a good thing to treat others with the utmost respect even when you have to be brutally honest with them about a negative issue. After all, that's how we all want to be treated. How you handle difficult situations makes a big difference towards your credibility and reputation. Thanks Suzanne and hope to here from you again.

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  30. Reputation means every thing to me in certain aspects of my life. For example, it is how I acquire new clients. It's how I retain current clients and frankly, my reputation before the court provides a necessary foundation to argue for a client's position effectively. However, in other parts of my life, it means very little. That's why I think being a Husband and a Dad is so wonderful. My four year old could care less about my reputation. Isn't innocence grand? And I am lucky to have a wife who loves me for who I am, including my faults. She could care less about my reputation, as much as I care about it myself. So, I guess, like a true lawyer I'd say the answer to question number one is "It depends." :-)

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    1. Warm welcome A Husband And a Dad. Yes, I see a lot of lawyers quite often and I'm aware that some have a very good reputation of defending or prosecuting a client well and those are the ones who are not only in demand, but keeps the court on it's toes. But there are some that have bad reputations and... need I say more? As for clients, introducing 'bad character' in evidence does not bode well either.

      Don't you just love the mind of a child? No judgments, no preconceived ideas, just an openness to engage with you on an honest level. Glad you stopped by and hope you return again to participate with us all.

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    2. Thank you for the warm welcome. Look forward to your next post. Would like to follow you on Twitter if you have a handle.

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    3. I'm not on any other social site apart from Bloggers and Blogcatalog, so I don't use facebook, twitter etc, sorry, but thanks for wanting to do so.

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  31. Another great Post, My Friend...

    The Comments are interesting to say the least. All of them so well thought out.

    I truly believe our reputation is important as we go through "Life." If we are totally honest, it's who we are as individuals. It's what others see in us and more often than not, it is what they form their opinion on as they move forward in the "friendly" relationship of one another. Having said that...

    As I read your Post, I immediately thought of a quote I recently came across on Pinterest and pinned it to my Quote Board. From Lao Tzu, "Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner." I love this quote in that I agree with the angle of not becoming a "slave" to the perception of another person. I found it interesting that Helena, above, used the same quote. I also agree with another comment from above, Lanthie, who said she thinks "The trick is to find that fine line." A trick indeed.

    Awesome Post Buddy... Always so very tough to answer.

    Have a great week, Slu

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    1. Thanks, Slu. Based upon this, I want to say something right now that I've been meaning to for a while - Here it is: It's the comments that all of you make, that make this blog what it is. I'm constantly amazed at the different perspectives and insights that you all bring and it's that thrill that makes all the hard work worthwhile.

      Your comment illustrates this very well and a big thank you for all the times you have taken to read my blog and leave comments.

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  32. I do believe a person's reputation is very important. For instance, as a preacher, I absolutely cannot allow my reputation to become a hindrance to people hearing the good news. Also, as a father of six children, it is important for me to have moral authority to undergird the values I try to instill in our children.

    Generally speaking, if you desire to influence the lives of others for good, a good reputation is vital. It is often a challenge trying to influence others in positive ways. I have certainly found this to be true in a church setting. Having a bad reputation will make the task even more difficult. Good post, RPD.

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    1. It's so true. There are different kinds of reputations that come to bear in different realms. As an example: If Einstein's theories work, his reputation as a professional among his peers is secure, even if he then gets sent down for murder, so to speak. But as a pastor, your authority has an indispensable moral component, though people may not be as interested in your ability to resolve equations in particle physics!

      But I guess the hardest people of all to build our rep with are our close family. Even what we do behind closed doors comes into play with them... because they're still with us after we've closed them!
      Your comment has just given me an idea for a future post :) Thanks Frank.

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  33. Another great post, addressing another great issue. I go both ways on this. On one hand I agree with your opening quote from Byron Katie, Most times, with most people, I really don't care what they think, they don't know me. I know were I've been, I know what I have come through, and I know what is inside of me today. Judging people based on reputation is a dangerous game... I prefer to make my judgments based on actions. And really, the only person that can ultimately make me happy... Is me.

    On the other hand, our reputations do proceed us. And can cause us major problems in life if we haven't kept our reps in check. I know this is fact. The reputation I built in my younger life(not a good rep) still affects my daily life more than twenty years later... Even though I have tried my best to turn my life around. And that matters to me.

    The actions we take, the decisions we make, the people we affect, every single thing we do... Follow us for the rest of our lives. For good or bad.

    Your words here are definitely worth consideration, as are the words in all your posts. Thanks for stimulating the thought process, thanks for asking people to consider themselves and the things they do. Great post my friend!

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    1. Yes, these are two sides of the coin. We can decide for ourselves that we won't allow a person's reputation to influence our judgement of them, whilst, at the same time realising that our own reputation has an everyday impact on the way others treat us. Thanks so much for commenting Jon.

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  34. I believe that people worry too much about what others will think about them. For this reason, they fail to be authentic. I try to reach a balance, but I tend to take a distance from people to protect myself. People will always have an opinion and they tend to repeat what others have told them. I don't have control over what they interpret. They can choose to believe whatever they want to believe.

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    1. It's really nice to meet you Julia. I guess we all have to try and get a right balance in life, but it's also important to protect your reputation when and/or if you can (though it's not always possible. Thanks for your comments and hope you'll return to read some more.

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  35. I care much less than I used to what others think of me, and in the end it doesn't matter much. But because I want to be a good, productive citizen of this world, I suppose I do need to care some about what my reputation is. Very thought provoking post-

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  36. I care much less than I used to what others think of me, and in the end it doesn't matter much. But because I want to be a good, productive citizen of this world, I suppose I do need to care some about what my reputation is. Very thought provoking post-

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    1. Welcome Shelly. It can sometimes be very important what others think about you, even if you don't care because it can have an impact on what you intend to do in life. Thanks for your comment and it would be good to hear from you again.

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  37. We are defined by our reputations. Yet, the way in which a person perceives the qualities that defines a reputation is unique to each person. Worrying about an infinite number of perceptions would make anyone's head explode.

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  38. What if you have a reputation that was not of your own making? It isn't just about us taking care of our own actions and being responsible, what if it suited someone else to give you a really bad reputation that was totally undeserved?

    Your life from then on is judged by this bad reputation! I have seen this done and it's an ugly side of some people and it's very sad.

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    1. Jade. I've seen this many times too. Rumors start, gossip prevails and the next thing you know, someone has a bad reputation for no reason and it's not always easy to turn it around. I don't have all the answers but I would reply in the same way as I did to Jamiesmiles comment above.

      Thinking aloud, and to be totally honest here. If someone was to slander me etc to the point that it affected my reputation in such a serious way, I would seek legal advice.

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  39. Reputation is very important, your right. I usually base my respect for a person on integrity and loyalty.
    Shawn at Reading Practice

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    1. Thanks for your comment Shawn, and good to hear from you :)

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