Friday, 14 June 2013

Father's Day Heroes

This Sunday 16th June is Father's Day here in the UK. So, I'm not going to waste my time on dead beat dads who couldn't care less. No. This post is for the many fathers around the world who did their best with what life presented them with. 
 
To all those fathers who work many hours in low paid jobs just to bring in a decent wage, and to the increasing many that work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. You have supported your family well.
 
To all those that take time out of their busy work schedules so they can attend their children's school plays, parents evenings and sporting events. Your children will always remember it.
 
To all the 'stay at home dads' who look after the children, do the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning without complaint whilst mum earns a crust.  Nothing wrong in that and it's good you shared the load.
 
To all the fathers who continue to pay child maintenance despite a divorce, separation or relationship breakdown. We're proud you supported your own.
 
To the many fathers in the armed forces. We can only imagine how hard it must be for them to be away from their families. Thank you for the sacrifice and for risking your lives to keep all of us safe.

To the dads who have shown their daughters how a man should treat a woman in all circumstances of life. And taught their sons what it is to be a real man. Thank you for raising your children into responsible, caring, respectful adults of today.
 
To the unfortunate dads who found themselves incarcerated but after doing 'time' for their crime, they made a complete U turn and completely changed their life for the better. What a bitter pill you swallowed. But, well done, you deserve a second chance.
 
And I mustn't forget to mention all those men who took on the full responsibility of raising children that were not theirs, but supported, nurtured, loved and cared for the kids as if they were their own. And for those who will move heaven and earth (legally!) to get access to see their children. You deserve a medal for sure.
 
Anyone can have a child but not everyone can be a good father, male role model or mentor.
 
If you have a message of encouragement you would like to send out to fathers, please feel free to leave a message here.

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

58 comments:

  1. I lost my father when I was 19 , he WAS the greatest father of the world for me .'I love you dad I am waiting to meet you IN HEAVEN :)
    great post RPD, always love your writings :)

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    1. I'm sorry for you loss Aunt Mary especially when it's someone you hold very dear to your heart. Even if it was a while ago, we still remember as if it was yesterday. They still deserve the recognition. Thanks Aunt Mary.

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  2. I love.my father although he was blind. He tried the best he could. I missed him much.

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    1. We always miss those that we loved. So Happy Fathers Day, even if they are not here in body. Thanks Joy.

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  3. I am now an orphan.... But well said nevertheless

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    1. Even so John, as long as your father did well by you, he still deserves a heartfelt 'thank you' and I'm sure you're thinking of him on this day. Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. This is an easy thread, RPD.

    There is nothing as the father figure, even in cases when he may not be the biological male parent.

    It is true! a son or daughter never forget those small pieces of sacrifices a father offers during the upbringing of a child.

    May our crazy social environment never change this asset.

    Thank you for making us think in something deeper than the 'economical' celebration.

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    1. Children somehow always remember the sacrifices their parents made for them, even though at the time they didn't recognize it until much older. We should always honor those who did us good with a good conscience. Thanks Od.

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  5. I could relate to some of the things you mentioned on what a good father is. They made me think of my late father who did his best to bring us up and especially on what you mentioned to make ends meet. If he was still alive, he would be able to reap what he had sowed.

    In Malaysia, Father's Day will be on the same date as yours. Thank you so much for this wonderful post.

    Happy Father's Day to all fathers who are heroes of their families!

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    1. I always feel chocked when I hear the stories of what some men have done to keep their families together, and I think it's about time, regardless of whether they are alive or not, that we still show them respect, and keep their name alive throughout our generations. Thanks Balqis.

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  6. My dad is a biological stranger. He has always been a wonderful father. More involved than most of my friend's fathers. Why he didn't run the other way that first day when he realized that my mom came packaged with a toddler. But I am eternally grateful he didn't.
    He is probably also the only father ever to, after finding out his teenage son was gay, spent two days doing some research to give a whole different sex education talk.... That is a Dad.

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    1. What you say so clearly proves the famous saying: "Any guy can make a baby, but it takes a MAN to be a father" (That's the 'clean' version anyway :) )
      I know of many men who would feel they have failed as a father if their child told them they were gay, so I'm very glad that he didn't run in the opposite direction.

      I'm sure you found a great way to show your appreciation. Thanks Jamie.

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  7. My husband and I went through IVF, and through hell to have our boys. Despite being overjoyed at having been one of the ones who succeeded, I always felt that the whole experience was a horrendous time in our lives. But I have to admit this; we had to really give a lot of serious thought as to why we wanted to be parents and whether we could really go through all we had to in order to succeed. And that part is a blessing. We are the parents we want to be because we were forced to give it more thought than most people do.

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    1. I love what you said Karen. Some folks have a child arrive without any thought or issue. But it's very different when it doesn't happen naturally and you have the time to think about whether you really want to be parents.
      I'm so glad it worked out for you both, and your blog always tells me what it's like to have a fun-loving family around you.. Happy Fathers Day to your hubbie and glad he stuck by you throughout those rough patches.

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  8. To all the single dads whose wives left them with full responsibility of the kid(s)...like my dad! Hell of a guy, and I love him so much! Great tribute to dads!

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    1. Exactly. These are the guys who need praise and recognition on days like this. They didn't shirk their responsibilities but took the bull by the horns and kept going regardless. Good for him, and I hope you spoiled him rotten. Thanks Shay.

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  9. I agree with you whole heartedly... I am in awe of the fathers who have had so much difficulty but rose from it all and gave their best to their children.

    My David is one of those, he is in the army, he ended up being a single dad and he always supports his two children... they are never without.

    Happy Father's day to all the wonderful dads out there:)

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    1. I say, thank you David for keeping so many of us safe today. I wouldn't choose to be in the army but I'm always grateful for what they have done for us. Well done mate. And it's good that despite having children you kept up your part of the bargain.... raising your kids with love. - Tell him for me ;-) Thanks Launna.

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  10. My father had two children with the Italian woman he was married to before my mom. My half-siblings' mother took them to Italy, and dumped them off in an orphanage. They were only 3 and 5 years old. My dad, who was doing his medical residency in Canada, had to borrow money to fly over to Europe and kidnap them. Later, he smuggled them into the US (neither child had passports). Then, he met my mom, and had 4 more kids. We all grew up together and I have never thought of my older siblings as anything less than brother and sister. He died 10 years ago, and I miss him terribly. My husband is my children's stepfather, and he loves them as if they were his own. That's been wonderful to see. I know it had to have been hard for my mother, raising another woman's children, especially since they were so young. So, hurrah for loving fathers and stepfathers!

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    1. You hit the nail on the head Helena. It's one thing raising your own children and any man who can raise another man's child is a certain kind of quiet hero. I'm so glad that you see your half siblings as nothing else but your brothers and sisters. Why should we differentiate? Your father must have loved them so much to do all he did in order to keep you all together, and he deserves more than a medal for pursuing them. Many men don't even bother, for children who live just a few minutes away.
      And thumbs up for your husband, as sometimes it's not easy to take on someone else's child and more-so, because your children have CF, and this could have put a great strain on any relationship, but from reading your blog, he has done an excellent job and is still here today :) Buy him a drink of me Helena :)

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  11. There is nothing more fulfilling than being a dad, despite the highs and lows, the failures and successes. All a dad can do, no matter his circumstance, is to have the bravery to say to himself silently every night, "tomorrow, I will try again."

    Father's Day is bittersweet to me - having lost my own father 12 years ago, but blessed with three wonderful girls who are his legacy, and mine.

    Thank you, for this post, from one proud dad.

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    1. Your right Eli. As long as you try each day, you will never be a failure. Those girls are a legacy for true and I hope you had a wonderful Fathers Day. I'm also sorry for you loss and hope the memories you have will last forever. Nice One Eli.

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  12. One of the things guaranteed to make me rage is the way the media treats dads. You turn on the telly and there's an advert with another hapless dimwit being held up to ridicule. The ad finishes and you go into...a comedy, a drama, a soap,,,whatever. if Dad is around at all he's useless or a monster.
    You turn off the TV and pick up the paper. And there's another article about dads being overgrown children. or they don't help out around the house and oh my god, Mums have to do EVERYTHING because men are so useless.
    But then you remember the guys you see around town - more of them these days - strolling around the shops with their children, and they're both smiling. The guy at work who has to keep leaving early because he has kids who need transporting. The father who walks his children to and from school twice a day. The father who spends his weekends turning an old, beat-up house into somewhere to bring up a family.
    And you think "Wouldn't it be nice if the papers and tv and the ad men would show just a little damn respect?"

    Rant over.

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    1. You have a genuine rant Big D and there definitely needs to be more of a balance and/or promotion of good fathers in the media. These men truly deserve much more. Thanks for your comment Big D.

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  13. My friend,

    That you for representing this from such a refreshing angle. As a single father who, like "Big D" notes, I seethe at the way the media portrays and stereotypes dads. I have raised my son, with no help from his mother, since he was twelve years old. I have gone without just to maintain a warm, safe, positive environment for him.

    Yet what do we hear about. The plight of the single mother, which is fair comment. However, what about the single dads who do their best to raise their children. And, I can vouch for this, it isn't just absentee fathers, there are absentee mothers.

    Yes a bit of balance without the convenient assumptions would not go amiss. Thanks for this, my friend. A Happy Father's Day to the real Fathers out there.

    Gary

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    1. Gary, you have done an excellent job of raising your son as a single father and you've given him a firm foundation to stand on as a young man. I know you've both been through so much together and you've never given up, so 'Well Done' mate and I hope you had a wonderful day.

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  14. I agree with you about the extremely negative portrayal of fathers on our tv shows - what a shame to make them stupid and boorish and the worst scenario of fatherhood possible. What a disservice to the men who are sensitive, caring, and trustworthy... I wish I could stand up on my little soapbox and tell the men of the world how much we need them, how valuable they are, how their sense of fun and adventure brings joy to their families. Their sons need to see their hearts, their daughters need to see their protection. A big hearty Happy Father's Day to all of those men who are doing their best to make the world a better place!

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    1. What more can I say Melody. So many of these men go unnoticed everyday, so I join you in a 'hearty Fathers Day' to them all. Thanks for you comment Melody.

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  15. Amen! Beautifully stated. Parenthood is harder than any paid profession and comes with risks and rewards. From a daughter and wife's perspective, there's nothing in the world like having a father who's always there for you.

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    1. Lauren, yes it is very hard work and any father who participates in his childs life (like we have all mentioned here) should be acknowledged and praised. Thanks Lauren.

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  16. RPD... What an Awesome Post!!!

    As an "Only Son" (with two big sisters), my Dad was so Special and our relationship was indeed Special. He passed when I was 36. I miss him deeply. But, for those 36 years, I was Blessed.

    As a Father, I try to be "that guy" and I can only hope I have made some type of "mark." My guys have turned out to be awesome Dude's. As a Dad, I could not be more proud of my two boys, now Men.

    As a Step-Dad, I have had to "learn on the fly," and it has been a tricky (lol) experience. But, I have four great step-kids, now all adults, and doing well.

    I have been truly Blessed with an awesome "Family."

    Thank you for a Great Post, Slu

    ps: Here is hoping your June 16th is a Fabulous Day, my Friend.

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    1. Slu, having a great dad always makes it a little easier when you become a father yourself, because you at least have a rough idea of what to do based upon your own upbringing. I'm sure your father would have been very proud of how you not only raised your own children but also took on the responsibility of a step child.

      And furthermore, you have given your step-child a great opportunity to experience the love of a real father and what it takes to be a 'real' man in society today. Happy Father's Day mate.

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  17. This Father's Day is technically my first ever true Father's Day. As a true step-father for the first time my family went well out of their way to make sure I was appreciated.

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    1. I just loved the fact that when you tied the knot with Lisa a few months ago, that you also incorporated a special separate vow for your step-daughter CJ. You vowed to love and cherish her as your own daughter. That was a beautiful thought.
      I'm glad you got spoilt on Fathers Day.

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  18. Wow, you did such a beautiful job on writing this post. I thank my father for everything he has done for me and my daughter. He just recently spent over 800 on a laptop for her for college. Her father has done nothing for her lately. So I'm glad she has grandpa there for her.

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    1. We don't always mention them but grandparents still play an important role in children's lives, especially when fathers don't take responsibility. Many kids have been raised by grandparents for a variety of reasons, and they too deserve recognition for what they have done. I hope you and your daughter do something really nice for grandpa. Thanks for your comment Susana.

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  19. same things, good or bad can be said about mothers too. Being a parent is a tough job and it's not for everybody. so in a way, people should stop pressuring other into having children. I wish I could have a father to be proud of, but I know I'll be a great father and my kids will be proud having me as their father :) Happy Father's Day to all good and great fathers :)

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    1. Sometimes bad experiences, in the long run can make us better people. So whatever it was that your father did or didn't do, when you decide to have your own children, you will work hard not to make the same mistakes that you father may have done. Thanks Gabriel.

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  20. Great post. Excellent. All those fathers deserve to be mentioned.

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  21. I was the youngest in our family, and always had a special bond with my father. He died 5 years ago, and I still weep when I hear Handel's Messiah--the hallelujah choir--it was my father's favorite. He was sorely missed this Father's Day.

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    1. It's always sad when you lose someone you truly cared about. But, it's a really nice feeling when you look back and remember all those wonderful memories of him. And the fact that you was privileged to be blessed with such a great father. Thanks Menopausal mama.

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  22. RPD I love this post! It's so positive :) My father was a bit of ghost in my childhood....appearing occasionally. Yet his presence was always known. He is softer and gentler now in his older age. Being a good father is being there for your kids...being there rock. Cheers to all of the present dads out there!

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    1. Thanks Michelle. I have no doubt that your father must be very proud of you and I'm sure he's remembering all those times that he wasn't around, whether it was intentional or due to circumstances. Age has a way of making you think.

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  23. RPD, your tribute to fathers-who-care was so complete and thoughtful it's hard to think of anything to add. Father's Day passed very quietly in my household, as it always does, with no one remembering or even mentioning it, including myself. Which is exactly what I like. I'm not a big fan of holidays or special events, since I consider every day to be both.

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    1. Thanks for the lovely comment NP. I'm sure they find everyday ways to let you know you are appreciated.

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  24. I am just getting to read your post two days after Father's Day. Thought-provoking as always. I enjoyed the many comments. My dad, who is now deceased, and my mom separated before I was a teen. I really didn't get to know my dad because I was so young when he left, and he moved about 800 miles away. In fact, he came home from a funeral one day and we passed each other at the funeral, and someone told me that the man I had passed was my dad.

    So I will just say something about dads in general. Being the father of six children, I know that fatherhood can be very challenging. And it does seem like the prevailing thought is that fathers don't want to step up to the plate. This kind of stereotype in society does not help matters at all. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue...." (Proverbs 18:21). Dads, like everyone else, need to hear edifying words and not words that tear down. I thank God for all the men out there trying to fulfill that fatherly role that God has given them.

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    1. I can't imagine for one minute how you must have felt to find out that this stranger was your father. What a sad but shocking moment.

      I'm just so glad that in spite of this, you have had the staying power to be there for all your children. There must inevitably have been one or two difficult times, but with children, the rewards outweigh the sacrifice. And yes, we should praise all those marvelous dads who have done good by their kids, and encourage those who have not, to do more. Thanks Frank.

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  25. You covered all the basis with honoring fathers. It was a great tribute. My hubs didn't have the best father, but he is an excellent dad to our kids. He's making sure his kids don't have the same experience he had with his dad.

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    1. As with Frank's comment above, this shows that people are wrong when they say that men who didn't know their fathers or had negative experiences are doomed to become failures themselves as dads. When a man is willing to commit to that role, love shows them the way. Thanks for commenting Hope.

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  26. Hi Rum-Punch Drunk. Your post is such a wonderful tribute to fathers everywhere in all walks of life. I don’t know if you’re a Dad, but if so, a belated Happy Father’s Day to you! I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said in your post about fathers, and could not have said it better. Thank you! I wrote a Father’s Day post with a memory of my late Dad, who was a wonderful man. My post is sort of a bookend to the Mother’s Day post I wrote last month. You are so right when you say that anyone can have a child but not everyone can be a good father.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words JerseyLil. I shall be popping over to read your Fathers Day post in a short while. Hope you don't mind but I've put a link to your post here so that everyone else can also have a good read of it, and thanks for stopping by JerseyLil.

      Radio Flyer Wagon: Father's Day Memories

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    2. Thank you for adding my link! :)

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  28. This was beautifully written, and you didn't leave a stone unturned! All of the dads deserve our thanks and admiration especially those in the armed forces who are away from their families to insure our safety. I truly wish that I had shown more appreciation for my own wonderful dad when I had the chance.

    Julie

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    1. Sometimes we don't always realise how important people are in our lives until it's too late. That's why everyday is a day of appreciation if possible, as we can't always count on tomorrow. Empty Nest Insider, you did your best at the time and I'm sure he's proud of you. Thanks for your comment and hope to hear from you again soon.

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  29. This post is amazing, you certainly covered all basis and expressed your gratitude as well as awareness of all the wonderful dad's with grace. Thank you:)

    Madison

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    1. It's nice to hear from you again My Meddling Mind, and yes, we raise our glasses to the brilliant fathers out there :)

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