Friday, 21 February 2014

The Fear of Fear

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" Franklin D. Roosevelt.
F-E-A-R. Simply four letters that can change my whole personality when I'm up in a plane with Mr Turbulence. And let me tell you now without shame. When F-E-A-R presented it's warped self, my vocals came into being and filled the plane, for all to hear. I screamed. Yes, I screamed like a new born baby birthed from the womb, then smacked. Well, I wasn't going down in silence.
Fear, in the fight or flight response is a mechanism that enables you to escape/hide or fight when confronted with a dangerous situation. But this same fear becomes unproductive when you're in a situation where there is no danger and yet it paralyses you. How many people have endured severe pain far longer than necessary with a bad tooth, causing themselves undue suffering, all because they're afraid of going to the dentist.

Many people have blighted their own career path because they feared to take the unknown road to something greater. Some bloggers are afraid to write books because they fear nobody would want to read it. There are those brilliant minds who study hard and late into the night, to prepare themselves for the big test. But on the day, fear attacks their mind distracting them from the anwers. It is only when they calm down afterwards, that the answers come flooding back.... too late. Through fear would-be whistle-blowers fail to speak up and are shamed into silence. Fear can also cause you to procrastinate for no real reason.
And to drive the point home, how many times looking back have you noticed that the fear was far worse than what you was actually afraid of? How many times did you feel like a right idiot because nothing actually happened? I had the whole plane laughing at me because I made such a fuss, only for it to land unscathed. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me! 

  • What are you most afraid of?
  • When are the times you have been most afraid?
  • How do you overcome your fears?
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Friday, 7 February 2014

Great Expectations

Love is in the air. Matters of the heart are about to be exposed as Valentine's Day approaches. Who doesn't want to be pampered, adored and romanced like mad? Who doesn't want to get that unexpected engagement ring, be told 'I love you' or be whisked off to some exotic place for a weekend of passion? I'm sure you wouldn't say no to a romantic spa together, candles included.
Whether you believe it or not, I'm sure you're secretly hoping for that card to drop through your letter box from a secret admirer or your loved one. Or the hubbie to return home with the biggest bunch of roses you've seen in a long while. I bet every time someone comes into the office with a package, you automatically think the gift must be for you. I bet you spend all day waiting in anticipation for that special Valentine's surprise. C'mon be honest, I know you are.
But how will you react if you get a big fat NOTHING? No recognition, no invite, no proposal. Nothing. And this is where the colostomy bag hits the fan.
For many people this is a time of year when numerous hearts are broken. People feel pressurized to make decisions they'll regret a month later. People feel forced into saying things they don't mean, doing things they don't really want to do and buying things they had no intention of buying. Valentine's Day is a nightmare for them.  It's a day of dread and I'll tell you why!

Because there's going to be the women looking for that wedding ring. They left no stone unturned taking care of their man. They ironed his clothes, cooked his meals, the passion was on his terms, and it didn't matter to them. They were willing to pay his house bills whenever he was short of cash, even if they had to put their own bills on hold. These men are without want. These women are the perfect unmarried unrecognised housewives. Well, it's Valentine Day, he's tried the goods for long enough and wants to move on WITHOUT her. Well, what incentive could she give him now? There'll be tears at bedtime for many and a testing time as Miss Perfection turns into Miss Repercussion.
And what about the guys who will have pressure building to busting point? They've bought the ring, rehearsed the words, practiced a good drop to one knee, booked the fancy restaurant and informed her family. He's going to have one hell of a shock when she says NO.  And she'll have one hell of a time whilst he plays Mr Stalker until he gets her out of his system.
How about the couple whose been married for 30 years. She wants to keep the flame alive. She spent days choosing him a nice gift. She wrapped it nicely and it took her hours trying to write the right words of love to him. He comes home with a weak 'Thank You' and leaves it on the side before getting ready for bed. Her heart will be broken yet again.
And I can't forget the ones who are too timid or polite to refuse an invite. They'll go out to dinner hating every moment of it with a smiling face. Well, that's what happens when you can't say NO. Time never flies when you're having a date from hell on a day like this.
So you see my friends. There will tears of joy and sorrow on a mingled day of expectations or repercussions.
What do you do for your loved ones on Valentines Day or how do you celebrate it?
How do you keep your love afresh? Especially if you've been married for a while?
Have you ever used Valentine's Day to kick someone out of your life by ending a relationship? 
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.
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