Time-Out

Every now and again in life we come across a bump or hurdle. It can come in our relationships, our finances or as in my case, health.
 
Right now I've been forced to take some time-out in regards to writing new posts but I endeavor to continue reading your blogs, commenting and participating in BC discussions as and when I can.

Feel free to browse my archive of posts as you may find something of interest. I'll respond to any comments, opinions or thoughts as always. I'll be back again soon.

The Fear of Fear

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" Franklin D. Roosevelt.
 
F-E-A-R. Simply four letters that can change my whole personality when I'm up in a plane with Mr Turbulence. And let me tell you now without shame. When F-E-A-R presented it's warped self, my vocals came into being and filled the plane, for all to hear. I screamed. Yes, I screamed like a new born baby birthed from the womb, then smacked. Well, I wasn't going down in silence.
 
Fear, in the fight or flight response is a mechanism that enables you to escape/hide or fight when confronted with a dangerous situation. But this same fear becomes unproductive when you're in a situation where there is no danger and yet it paralyses you. How many people have endured severe pain far longer than necessary with a bad tooth, causing themselves undue suffering, all because they're afraid of going to the dentist.

Many people have blighted their own career path because they feared to take the unknown road to something greater. Some bloggers are afraid to write books because they fear nobody would want to read it. There are those brilliant minds who study hard and late into the night, to prepare themselves for the big test. But on the day, fear attacks their mind distracting them from the anwers. It is only when they calm down afterwards, that the answers come flooding back.... too late. Through fear would-be whistle-blowers fail to speak up and are shamed into silence. Fear can also cause you to procrastinate for no real reason.
 
And to drive the point home, how many times looking back have you noticed that the fear was far worse than what you was actually afraid of? How many times did you feel like a right idiot because nothing actually happened? I had the whole plane laughing at me because I made such a fuss, only for it to land unscathed. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me! 
       

• What are you most afraid of?
• When are the times you have been most afraid?
• How do you overcome your fears?

 
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Great Expectations

Love is in the air. Matters of the heart are about to be exposed as Valentine's Day approaches. Who doesn't want to be pampered, adored and romanced like mad? Who doesn't want to get that unexpected engagement ring, be told 'I love you' or be whisked off to some exotic place for a weekend of passion? I'm sure you wouldn't say no to a romantic spa together, candles included.
 
Whether you believe it or not, I'm sure you're secretly hoping for that card to drop through your letter box from a secret admirer or your loved one. Or the hubbie to return home with the biggest bunch of roses you've seen in a long while. I bet every time someone comes into the office with a package, you automatically think the gift must be for you. I bet you spend all day waiting in anticipation for that special Valentine's surprise. C'mon be honest, I know you are.
 
But how will you react if you get a big fat NOTHING? No recognition, no invite, no proposal. Nothing. And this is where the colostomy bag hits the fan.
 
For many people this is a time of year when numerous hearts are broken. People feel pressurized to make decisions they'll regret a month later. People feel forced into saying things they don't mean, doing things they don't really want to do and buying things they had no intention of buying. Valentine's Day is a nightmare for them.  It's a day of dread and I'll tell you why!

Because there's going to be the women looking for that wedding ring. They left no stone unturned taking care of their man. They ironed his clothes, cooked his meals, the passion was on his terms, and it didn't matter to them. They were willing to pay his house bills whenever he was short of cash, even if they had to put their own bills on hold. These men are without want. These women are the perfect unmarried unrecognised housewives. Well, it's Valentine Day, he's tried the goods for long enough and wants to move on WITHOUT her. Well, what incentive could she give him now? There'll be tears at bedtime for many and a testing time as Miss Perfection turns into Miss Repercussion.
 
And what about the guys who will have pressure building to busting point? They've bought the ring, rehearsed the words, practiced a good drop to one knee, booked the fancy restaurant and informed her family. He's going to have one hell of a shock when she says NO.  And she'll have one hell of a time whilst he plays Mr Stalker until he gets her out of his system.
 
How about the couple whose been married for 30 years. She wants to keep the flame alive. She spent days choosing him a nice gift. She wrapped it nicely and it took her hours trying to write the right words of love to him. He comes home with a weak 'Thank You' and leaves it on the side before getting ready for bed. Her heart will be broken yet again.
 
And I can't forget the ones who are too timid or polite to refuse an invite. They'll go out to dinner hating every moment of it with a smiling face. Well, that's what happens when you can't say NO. Time never flies when you're having a date from hell on a day like this.
 
So you see my friends. There will tears of joy and sorrow on a mingled day of expectations or repercussions.
 
Questions
What do you do for your loved ones on Valentines Day or how do you celebrate it?
How do you keep your love afresh? Especially if you've been married for a while?
Have you ever used Valentine's Day to kick someone out of your life by ending a relationship? 
 
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Till Death Us Do Part?

Let's face it. In life lots of relationships don't work out. People who once couldn't be without each other for 5 minutes end up provoking blood lust on sight. They went from lovebirds to vicious fighting bulldogs in the human ring. What happened?

Common sense says that when a relationship is in serious trouble or at death's door the best option is to make a clean break and not prolong the agony, because staying together past that point creates not only verbal tension, but also many wasted days, months and precious years. And life is already too short to spend fighting. 

So, at what point do you realise that staying together to 'work it out' is actually resulting in more animosity, more bitterness and more long term hate? How do you recognise that point of no return when the end becomes inevitable? 

The haunting question then becomes 'If I do throw in the towel, how will I ever know if we had stuck it out a little longer and worked a little harder that we couldn't have made it work?' 

We have grandparents and great-grandparents who said 'till death us do part' and stuck to it. Divorce was highly unusual in their day. What secret did they know that we don't? Was it just staying power through thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poorer? After all, that's what they signed up to! Or were they living in secret misery for fear of public shame, tolerating the intolerable.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in an domestic abusive relationship, and I don't care if they do have children. Run like your pants is on fire, I say.

But, marriages are dropping like flies and relationships don't last as long as they used to. You can get a divorce as quick as you can get a credit card. Then it's a case of move on to partner number **?**.  But I can't help feeling that divorce is sometimes taken as an easy way out with undue haste. There's just no staying power. Am I wrong? 

So, my question is:
Has divorce been made too easy and readily available?
Does marriage mean anything in today's society or is it just a piece of paper?
At what point should you separate from a person in a relationship if things are not going too well?

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Reflections

Well, not long to go now until 2014.
 
This is the time of year that I always reflect on my life, my thoughts, my decisions and most importantly -  ME. I look back on all the positives and negatives including what I've learned from them.
 
I ruthlessly assess my friendships/relationships and make uncomfortable decisions on who needs to go. Nobody wants to bring a back-stabber or someone who has no respect into their future do they?
 
I take a blunt look at myself, naked and aware. I look at my broken dreams and destructive habits and make conscious decisions to put them right.
I look at my attitudes to people and life. I checkout my forgiveness or lack of it on some days. I look at the things that caused me to stumble and why. I thoroughly go through the things that caused me to excel and how I can hold on to them. I look at what makes me unhappy and the ways I can change it for the better. I think about how I can make a difference to this world.

This year in particular I'm conscious of Nelson Mandela who did 27 years in prison. Look what he achieved afterwards! He could have caused a bloodbath to satisfy a lust for revenge but instead he didn't allow bitterness and anger to strangle his dream of equality. He made his freedom count. What am I doing with the time I have left? What are any of us doing? Our actions can have consequences, and some of them great.
 
For most of the past year... actually past several years... there has been something that has been suppressing my true identity and stifling who I really am. I don't want to go into it - the details may be for another post - but I've struggled enormously and only recently feel that I've been released and want to make the most of this freedom for the time I have left.

So my question to you is:
What old things would you like to leave behind as you head into the New Year?
What new things would you like to bring into your life?
Looking back over the past year what have been your greatest successes and/or failures?
 
I'd love to hear your views, comments or opinions.

The Best Medicine

They say it's what separates us from the animals. We all do it but few of us can explain what it actually is. It's something commonplace, yet at the same time profoundly mysterious. 

I'm talking about laughter.

Some people even ask 'what use is it?' but science tells us that laughter actually does bring physical and psychological benefits to humans. It's supposed to make us happy, feel good and bond relationships. And making someone laugh can help get them through difficult situations.  

So what makes you laugh? I've been severely scolded because of my weird sense of humour. I admit it. If you fall down the stairs, bump into a shop door, get stuck in the train doors - I'm the one who's laughing uncontrollably in the corner until I can regain my composure to help, and I don't even know why. I just find things like that funny - when it's happening to someone else! My practical jokes are worse, and they've back-fired a few times, so I'm very careful what I do now.

People say I have a contagious laugh. Once I start, bit by bit everyone around me will join in and they don't even have a clue why I'm laughing! Some people have a nervous laugh. If you catch them out in conversation or something doesn't seem quite what it is, they laugh it off in an unconvincing way. 

I've even seen people laugh and cry at the same time when faced with terrible adversity. Perhaps it's a coping strategy. 

So look at how complex and mysterious laughter is. It can be hysterical, evil, laughing insultingly in someone's face or a joyous expression of laughing together.

So the next time you're laughing, ask yourself, why am I laughing, what kind of laughter is it, and what is laughter anyway?

So, my question is:
What makes you laugh?
Have you ever played a joke on someone and it back-fired?
Where do your draw the line between what's funny and what is 'sick' humour?

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Author of Your Own Destruction

'Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn' they say. But this was a clear case of cutting one's own throat, without seeing it coming. 

Boy meets girl, they fall in love and get married. All seems well for a season until he is forced to tell his unsuspecting wife he's been having an affair during their 26 years of marriage. He then abandons wife for a new life with his mistress. Gulp...

Well, I'm sure she would have felt like any other woman. Shocked by the sudden announcement, betrayed because she knew nothing about it. Hurt because the affair was with someone she knew. Humiliated, angry and bitter that her private life was about to go viral as 'news' in the media for all to see. I guess she might have felt a little revengeful. Who wouldn't?

Now, the estranged wife had plans, but she had no idea of the price she would pay.

She waits a while then states to reporters that a few years ago, to avoid her then husband being prosecuted for a speeding offence, she falsely told police that she was driving the car that had been caught by the speeding cameras. In other-words, she accepting driving licence penalty points incurred by her husband. Well, let me tell you this in a nutshell and to cut a long story short. 

ALL hell breaks loose, everything goes public. Both herself and husband get arrested. She now needs a defence and states she was coerced by him. The jury doesn't accept it, they both get charged with perverting the course of justice and end up with an 8 month prison sentence. She was recently released after serving 2 months and has to wear an electronic tag on her ankle and abide by a curfew until the end of her sentence. 

This actually happened. He was the high profile UK politician Chris Huhne who was married to Vicky Pryce. 

Now, I'm not here to discuss their case, but was rather making a point about being the Author Of Your Own Destruction. I can't imagine for one minute that she would have spoken out in this way knowing what the consequences would have been. Nobody in their right mind would set themselves up to be shamed so openly, then end up in prison. 

So my question to you is -
Have you ever done anything in an act of revenge that backfired in your face?
Have you ever willfully divulged secret information because your relationship with a person turned bad?
Have you ever set someone up in revenge and then sat back and watched your plans unfold with a smile on your face? 

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Don't Be Shy

Pride, they say it comes before a fall. Fair enough I say, but what if it comes after an achievement? 

Us Brits are famous for our understatement but perhaps modesty and self-effacement can be taken too far. After all, how can we be encouraged to move forwards if we don't recognise what we have achieved in the first place? Is it so bad to be extremely pleased or overjoyed with what you have accomplished in life? Is that being proud in a negative sense?

I'm not asking you to make yourselves the centre of attention every single day. Or in every situation to constantly and forceably brag about your lifetime achievements. All I'm asking is, that you give yourself a good pat on the back, and not feel afraid to say what you're good at, or what you succeeded in doing in life against all the odds.

Let's not be ashamed to celebrate positive pride. Grab a beer or your favorite tipple, take the load of your feet, and tell me all about it. Don't be shy.  

So, what are your proudest moments or achievements in life?
What is the most successful thing you have done against all the odds?

Or feel free to leave a link if it's something you've already written about.

I love to hear your comments, views and opinions. 

A Love / Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship in my life. What makes it important is that this person is around me all the time. The difficult thing is that this person has some traits that I really can't stand. It's just irritating. Worst of all, this person is... ME.

Could I even be a self-abuser? I have no trouble encouraging and supporting others to feel good about themselves and celebrating their differences and uniqueness. But I also think it's delusional for a person to just assume they're perfect. And there seems to be a lot of them about nowadays.

But what if you have the opposite problem?

Here's my dilemma. I want to be 'comfortable in my own skin'. I want to accept myself 'warts and all'. Some people even tell me that until I learn to love myself that way, I won't really be able to love others fully - can this be true? But how can I accept things about myself that are just plain wrong? Can I afford to be complacent?

Surely I should try and strive to change them. I don't want to be one of those many people I know who are so full of love for themselves that they don't seem to listen to their own conscience when they do blatantly wrong and selfish things.

But then again, what if I can't change? What if this is simply the way I am? Does me beating myself up really achieve anything?

Dear readers, I'm confused.

Can any of you relate to my confusion?
Does anybody out there have any advice for me?
In all seriousness - Do you truly like everything about your character?

I'd love to hear your comments, advice, views and opinions.

Mystery of Inspiration

Inspiration, friend or foe. It seems to be an enemy if you ain't got it. What the heck is it anyway? Usually when I come to write a blog post there is something that triggers me. 

When it comes to blogging I don't actually know where inspiration comes from. Is it really from all those conversations I had down the pub? Or maybe the many family functions where we debated issues all night? Maybe it's the regurgitation of my daily diet of news? Crikey knows. 

All I can say is that, like a bolt of lightning, something happens and the words just flow and I feel complete in the sense that I have something to say.

But when searching for inspiration, it proves very elusive. I try and go back to the source. I replay the moment of inspiration in my mind trying to work out what happened but it's like looking for the end of the rainbow.

It's almost as though, instead of me finding inspiration, it's inspiration that finds me. In a quick minute it's all there and if you don't try to capture it, it's gone. I recognise it when it happens but I don't have a clue where it comes from. So my questions to you readers and fellow bloggers is:

Where do you get your inspiration from?
Come to think of it, what is inspiration?

I would love to hear your comments, views and opinions on this.

Better Off Alone!

Loner. Unsociable. Recluse. Just some of the labels society slaps on a person who prefers their own company to that of others.

But what's so wrong about a person being more comfortable on their own? We constantly encourage people to love themselves and be comfortable in their own skin, but as soon as you take time out on your own, you are labeled as if you are a freak. 

Isn't there something wrong with the person who has to continually be around other people? There are some people who just can't sit still for 5 minutes. Their phones are always engaged, they are never home and every time you try to contact them they are busy. Why isn't that seen as unhealthy?

Isn't it possible to have too many friends and be socially addicted? I'm talking about the person who can't hold down a decent conversation because they're constantly texting, tweeting or checking their emails. The person who has spread themselves so thinly that they are too busy to truly form a strong relationship with anyone. I don't know about you, but I find it more lonely in a crowd of acquaintances than being by myself in my room. 

Over the years I've wondered if there is something wrong with me. I can spend days on end by myself without the slightest urge to see anyone or pick up the phone. I feel peaceful, content, and stress-free. Chaos and confusion is left outside whilst I'm serene in my bubble. Where's the crime in that?

There are also many famous people who were deemed to have reclusive tendencies such as John Swartzwelder - comedy writer of 'The Simpsons'. Johnny Carson - NBC host of The Tonight Show. Daniel-Day Lewis - Actor of My Left Foot and Stanley Kubrick director of A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Space Odyssey to mention a few. It just goes to show that even if you don't crave the company of others, you can still achieve your goals.

Do you prefer to spend most of your time alone or in the company of others?

Do you think it's unhealthy to spend vast amounts of time on your own?

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

Snitch

Now, this is a real tough one as nobody wants to be known as a 'squealer', 'snitch' or 'grass' and everyone's heard of some of the deadly consequences associated with people who reveal secrets, especially within the criminal world. 

But let's take away the death aspect of it all - although you can never be sure that someone won't commit suicide or take a life!

What if you were confidentially given unequivocal information that would affect the life of a colleague, friend or family member? What if you revealing that information meant they could avoid severe consequences such as prison, personal injury or loss of livelihood? Remember, it's not just about helping a friend. By doing so you would also be betraying the person or organisation who gave you that information and jeapordising your own reputation. In other words, you can't play both sides. Would you squeal? 

Or on the other hand, take the opposite case. What kind of wrongdoing would push you so far as to pass information about a friend or loved one to the authorities?

What if they were cheating on their taxes or insurance?
What if they were defrauding innocent members of the public?
What if they were smuggling drugs or people into the country?
Would that make you squeal? If not what would it take?

What's the difference between revealing 'secret' information to a friend and revealing 'secret' information to the authorities? Either way, isn't it the same thing? Please enlighten me. 

Sometimes in life, taking sides becomes inevitable. One man's hero is another man's traitor.

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

Rep to Protect

"It's not your job to like me, it's mine" - I've chosen to open with this quote by Byron Katie but... isn't it an impossible dream?

C'mon now, let's be honest - when your feelings get hurt and you say "I don't give a monkey's what anyone thinks of me" out of sheer bravado, are you really being honest?

I believe that deep down all of you out there care much more about the opinions of others than you would like to let on.

I'm ready to admit that I have a rep (reputation) to protect if you know what I mean. It's important to me that I do all I can to uphold my good name. My reputation is what identifies me. A bad reputation equals a bad name and can lead to serious repercussions.  

Aesop's fable about the 'boy who cried wolf' brings this point home powerfully. The boy undermines his own reputation to the point that when he does have something of vital importance to say, no-one believes him, with tragic consequences. To not care in 'anyway' what people think about us, is in a sense, an act of self-sabotage.

As for real life, who believes a liar, trusts a thief or shakes hands with a dodgy builder? 

Your reputation can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Have you ever thought that your reputation could be what's standing in the way of you moving forward.

So when you walk out into society, make your voice hold weight in public, make your opinion count, let your judgement change lives - your reaction may cause a stir for the better or worse and all of this based on your reputation. 

Let's take a moment to carefully consider our reputations...

Do you think reputation is important? 

What is your respect for others based on - ie. what makes it grow or lessen?

Is there anything worth sacrificing your reputation for?

I love to hear your comments, opinions and views on this.

The Meaning of Motherhood

It's Mother's Day this Sunday, here in the UK. Like Christmas and birthdays, it's a time of joy, appreciation, the giving of gifts, treats and much pampering for some, and of bittersweet reflection for others. An occasion to celebrate motherhood, which for some people is a reminder of what they didn't have. 

So last year I had no shame in writing a Mothers Day post which spelt out the genuine acknowledgments I gave to my mother, despite our relationship being somewhat non-existent. I will hold on to those same words this year whilst I watch others have a more entertaining time. 

Those who haven't read my post can find the link here:

-Turning A Negative into A Positive-

This year, I would like to ask a few questions regarding your experiences and feelings about your own mother or the woman who raised you - be it a grandmother, foster-parent etc:

1. What are the key qualities of a mother?
2. What was the most important thing that you mother said, that left the deepest impression on you - whether good or bad?
3. How will you be honouring your mother on Mother's Day?
4. Single Dads - do you feel the need to fill a motherly role with your children? If so, in what way?
4. What was the best or worst moment that you had with your mother?
5. If you are a mother, do you expect recognition for what you have done for your children over the years? 

Please feel free to answer any/all of these questions, or just share your experiences. I would love to hear your comments, views and opinions. 

Behind the Mask

I came across this short 3 minute video which literally gave me a whole heap of food for thought, especially when combined with a recent TV news item.
 
Firstly, the man in the video. He seems to be a vagrant and a thief, yet he is working to better himself. 
 
Secondly, the man in the news - Oscar Pistorius, known as the 'Blade Runner', a national hero who this week ALLEGEDLY murdered his girlfriend. As the days tick by, allegations of domestic violence are revealed against the man who had the perfect image. 
 
What could these two men possibly have in common? A mask.
 
Take a good look around you. Sometimes what we see is definetly not the truth about people. Yet, in reality, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we do actually make judgments about what could be nothing more than a mask.
 
We think we know people, but how can we really know anyone?

What's your story, do you wear a mask to hide what's really going on in your life?
How do you form your opinion of others - on what basis do you decide?
What's the biggest surprise anyone has ever given you when you saw what they were behind their mask?

I would love to hear your views, comments and opinions. 

What Would You Do For Love?

I've been thinking about how King Edward VIII gave up the throne of England to marry Wallis Simpson. He had no doubt there would be scandal, he didn't care she was divorced, and he knew she would never be accepted by the Royal family and possibly the British people, but despite the consequences he truly loved her and put her first. The man abdicated and left it all behind. 

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, the word love is being branded about everywhere. Roses for the sweethearts, chocolates for the sweet-toothed, diamonds for the engagements, hearts all over the place right now in more ways than one. Some people will be showered in gifts this year but aren't these things just material objects that are easy to buy?

Edward the VIII gave up more than just a title, and many curse him to this day for dereliction of duty. How can we really tell if someone loves us?

How do you measure true love?

What is your concept of romance?

What is the best demonstration of love you can think of?

Has anyone ever shown their love to you in an exceptional way? Please feel free to share your romantic stories, views and opinions.

Disappointment - My Constant Companion

Disappointment can sometimes be like a ball attached to one's ankle via a long chain. It will let you get so far then yank you back. You want to go forward in life but it's hard dragging a weight behind you. If you sit still doing nothing it's no problem, but as soon as you get up to move, there it goes again - disappointment. 

For many people, unemployment can be that disappointment, which is a constant companion. It's one hell of a road to be on. If you factor old age or should I say maturity into it, it's no joke. Add a little bad health and it becomes worse. 

People are constantly being demonized for being on state benefits, but how else can they survive if they can't find work? Not everyone chooses to sit on their backside and do nothing all day. Some have no choice. Voluntary work may give you an advantage when it comes to gaining experience and so can doing educational courses. But they don't pay the bills. 

Yes, there are some who cheat the benefit system, and some who have no intention or desire to work, but I'm definitely not speaking about them. 

I say all of this because of a number of conversations I've had with some ignorant minded folk. Ignorant I say, because they have not only never been in this situation, but they have an attitude of unrelenting grievance, filled with hate against anyone who does not work for any reason. Their high minded, pompous status in life has somewhat let them down. My blood boils but I keep a lid on it. In situations like those I have a split second choice between one of the following consequences:

 Spend the night in a police cell 

OR

 Write a blog post

I chose wisely. No-one is worth the first route.

The basic reality is that there are people out there who have genuinely struggled to find a job. Some will use every penny of their savings to survive before they accept any handouts. They are not stupid, lazy, scroungers or useless. They are people who would do hard graft if given the opportunity. They are people who would take minimum pay, work nights if they had to, and extra shifts wouldn't be an issue if given the chance, but in spite of all this, disappointment remains their constant companion. 

Why add to the weight they already carry by giving them an additional burden of shame and guilt? Anyone of us could find ourself in this position tomorrow! 

One of my friends was in tears as he explained how his son has become deeply depressed after being unemployed for a couple of years. He's become reclusive, lost self-confidence, lost hope and no longer enjoys going to social gatherings, lest someone should ask him about work. He's applied for countless jobs, had countless interviews, been on courses but yet nothing suffices. What does a person in this position need to do before others are willing to accept that people like him have tried?

Have you even been umemployed for any length of time? Tell me about it.

What are your views on the chronically unemployed?

Feel free to share your views, opinions or thoughts. 

Legacy

I'm honoured to have been asked to Guest Post for the first time ever (one-off) for a wonderful blogger called Jon Whiting from 'Speaking My Mind' blog. Jon Whiting has an honest, fresh and raw writing approach, and doesn't pull any punches or hide what he thinks. He opines without fear or favour and I like that in a blogger. 

So I ask anyone reading this today to please come over and join us by using the link below. My post is called Legacy:

Legacy - by Rum Punch Drunk

As bloggers, we both appreciate, encourage and welcome participation from you. So let us know what you think by leaving comments. Jon has also written some great articles, so feel free to take a good look around his blog and don't forget to let him know your thoughts, opinions and views on his posts. 

I will be back here next week with another topic/subject for us to discuss.

For the Sake of Auld Lang Syne

It's that time of the year again when many take a deep breath trying not to over-analyse the reasons why the past loves, friendships, hopes and dreams didn't make it through to 2013. 

But shouldn't it be a time to be ruthless and honest? Get rid of the barriers that stopped you reaching your goals. Get rid of all those familiar distractions that stifled your dreams and choked your aspirations. Familiarity, has been said to breed contempt. You've gained great insight and experience through it all, so leave all that toxic baggage behind in 2012, bolt the door, run like hell and start the year afresh.    
Make new friends, build on positive relationships. Venture out into new pastures, be realistic with your goals. Don't be envious of those who've achieved what you would have liked, but rather study and learn from them. But most of all, don't hide your true self, keep it real.  
 
I take this opportunity to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to each and every one of you. I wish you success in all you choose to do... as long as it's legal. I wish you prosperity... providing you don't crush others to get it. And I wish you good health.... exercise is your friend. Keep a firm grasp on hope, because once it slips away, it can be lost forever. 
 
What a better way to finish this year with one of my favorite ole time tunes - Auld Lang Syne. 

Have your hopes and aspirations changed since this time last year?
What is the biggest lesson that 2012 has taught you?
What are your New Year resolutions for 2013?

I would love to hear your comments, opinions and views.

2 Sides to Christmas

It's that time of the year again. Seasonal happiness for some and madness for others. Shops will be packed with people buying gifts for each other while the retail bosses rub their hands in delight. The sound of ker-ching will be a welcoming sign to bankers as people max-out their credit cards only to have to pay it back with interest. For the next few weeks food and drink will be excessive and so will the waste, work colleagues will be busy arranging the office parties that will provide many with regrets come January. 

There are always 2 sides to Christmas. 

Families will welcome each other with loving kisses and gifts only for hours to pass by when they are at each others throat, reminiscing on the past faults brought to light by the evening's alcohol. New romantic relationships are always formed at this time of the year only to be soured as the season to be jolly comes to an end. At last the homeless will have a place to get out of the cold, eat, drink, get clean clothes, a hair cut and a little medical help. But for them, the season to be jolly is just a temporary fix until they are back on the streets. 

I hope I'm not dampening anyone's spirit here but I'm just trying to point out that there are 2 sides to Christmas and at times throughout my life I've been on both sides of the fence. I have not celebrated Christmas for quite some time now as the true meaning behind it has somewhat changed and so has the people.  For me, it's a time for reflection, a time to think about the future and what the year ahead brings. A time to pull out all the 'weeds' of the past that destroyed my beautiful garden and think about what I'm going to be planting for next year. 


If you are celebrating this year, why not have a sense of community? Invite a neighbour round for a seasonal drink or pop round and bring them a cake, especially if they are elderly, lonely or vulnerable. We have suffered such a hard year of austerity, and just wishing someone a Happy Christmas, seasonal greetings or sending a card may brighten up their day. 

Christmas is a time when we are expected to be happy, but for a lot of people it's the worse time of the year. Be honest with me, do you really enjoy Christmas?
What are your best and worst Christmas memories?
What will you be doing this Christmas, even if you don't celebrate it?

I would love to hear your views, comments and opinions.