Blogger's Plague

What the heck have I got in common with F. Scott Fitzgerald (Of Great Gatsby fame) and Charles M. Schulz, author of Charlie Brown and Snoopy? I call it the bloggers plague. In other words - Writers Block!

I'm not putting myself on a pedestal as some professional writing expert but I've been racking my brains for something to write since 02.00am last night and still a big fat nothing. Zero Inspiration. I don't have a post for today. 

So, as I'm not the only one to stand in front of this obstacle, what do you do to climb over it?

C'mon, throw this dog a bone. Has this ever happened to you?
If so, how do you deal with it?

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

A Love / Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship in my life. What makes it important is that this person is around me all the time. The difficult thing is that this person has some traits that I really can't stand. It's just irritating. Worst of all, this person is... ME.

Could I even be a self-abuser? I have no trouble encouraging and supporting others to feel good about themselves and celebrating their differences and uniqueness. But I also think it's delusional for a person to just assume they're perfect. And there seems to be a lot of them about nowadays.

But what if you have the opposite problem?

Here's my dilemma. I want to be 'comfortable in my own skin'. I want to accept myself 'warts and all'. Some people even tell me that until I learn to love myself that way, I won't really be able to love others fully - can this be true? But how can I accept things about myself that are just plain wrong? Can I afford to be complacent?

Surely I should try and strive to change them. I don't want to be one of those many people I know who are so full of love for themselves that they don't seem to listen to their own conscience when they do blatantly wrong and selfish things.

But then again, what if I can't change? What if this is simply the way I am? Does me beating myself up really achieve anything?

Dear readers, I'm confused.

Can any of you relate to my confusion?
Does anybody out there have any advice for me?
In all seriousness - Do you truly like everything about your character?

I'd love to hear your comments, advice, views and opinions.

Snitch

Now, this is a real tough one as nobody wants to be known as a 'squealer', 'snitch' or 'grass' and everyone's heard of some of the deadly consequences associated with people who reveal secrets, especially within the criminal world. 

But let's take away the death aspect of it all - although you can never be sure that someone won't commit suicide or take a life!

What if you were confidentially given unequivocal information that would affect the life of a colleague, friend or family member? What if you revealing that information meant they could avoid severe consequences such as prison, personal injury or loss of livelihood? Remember, it's not just about helping a friend. By doing so you would also be betraying the person or organisation who gave you that information and jeapordising your own reputation. In other words, you can't play both sides. Would you squeal? 

Or on the other hand, take the opposite case. What kind of wrongdoing would push you so far as to pass information about a friend or loved one to the authorities?

What if they were cheating on their taxes or insurance?
What if they were defrauding innocent members of the public?
What if they were smuggling drugs or people into the country?
Would that make you squeal? If not what would it take?

What's the difference between revealing 'secret' information to a friend and revealing 'secret' information to the authorities? Either way, isn't it the same thing? Please enlighten me. 

Sometimes in life, taking sides becomes inevitable. One man's hero is another man's traitor.

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

Food Glorious Food!

Have you ever taken the time to find out exactly where your food comes from? Or do you just buy food based on the price, especially during this economic downturn? 

To be honest, I really can't afford to live off pure organic food on a daily basis. I'm not happy to see animals tortured, caged and tested on but I also have to seriously consider my pocket. Basic foodstuffs already cost way too much, in my eyes and I've got other bills to pay. 

What about all those pesticides they use on our fruit and veg? Which would you prefer - a large, sweet, juicy pear grown with chemical assistance, or a smaller sized, blemished one, but grown naturally? 

I'm hearing all these things about our foods. I mean, factory farming involves shoving a load of animals in a tight space without looking after them properly. Is it right that we tolerate animals being kept in bad desperate conditions, so long as we get fast, cheap food on our plates?

Ok, we keep going on about the starving children in Africa, but why not for a couple of years do intensive farming like mad to produce that food to feed those kids? Nothing wrong in feeding a starving child is there? I mean, it wouldn't be forever. Now, just because we are doing one thing, it doesn't mean we couldn't at the same time also implement long term organic farming.

It was rather alarming to find out I'd eaten GM food that has had it's natural DNA messed about with. In America for example, I've read that most of their vegetable oil is produced via GM crops. In Hawaii, roughly 80% of their fruit called papaya is GM. If for one minute you think about all the things we use vegetable oil for, it's quite daunting. 

Could it be in reality that the food we think is sustaining us is actually harming us? Sooner or later our natural bodies will begin to show signs of what we have been putting into it. Would our next generation think it was all 'worth it'? Something has to give. 

So, is the abuse of animals in order to feed us, morally justifiable?
Are organic foods really worth the price, and do they taste better?
Do you think GM foods are a risk we should take in order to feed the world?

I would love to hear your comments, views and opinions on this. 

Bad Samaritans

The other day, whilst riding my bike in London I came across a surprising sight. A man had collapsed in the road with his head towards the oncoming cars and his legs extended towards the pavement. It was a bright day, cars and people were passing him by constantly yet no-one stopped. Disgusting. 

I backed up my bike, called an ambulance and tried to speak to the man on the floor until they arrived. Apparently, in London a couple days ago a similar scenario happened where a man collapsed (can't verify if the collapse was genuine or not) but still, nobody came to his aid. This took place at a busy, safe and well lit underground train station. People just continued on their journey, some even stepping over him. 

How were they to know if he was faking it or not? What threat could he have posed? What would they have risked just to ask this man if he was OK? 

During the Nazi era, hundreds of innocent people put their lives on the line by helping to hide Jews in order to stop them from being killed.  Most of you may remember the story of Ann Frank, who was hidden for many years under the protection of dutch citizens in occupied Holland. How about Oscar Schindler, who also protected many Jews during this time at a great personal risk. 

There are many more high profile examples from different places and periods in history where people risked everything just to help strangers. Today, we can't even break our stride for 2 mins to get help for someone, even with no risk involved! 

What would it take for you to stop and enquire if someone is lying on the floor or who has just collapsed? I can understand if you are on a dark street late at night in a dodgy neighbourhood but that doesn't stop you from calling the police/ambulance for help, does it?

What in the world has happened to the mentality of people today? 
What do you expect would happen if you fell ill on the streets? 
Has anything like this ever happened to you?
If you have ever walked past a collapsed person, what was the reason why you didn't you stop?

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions on any of this. 

My Gender Dilemma - Help!

Well, I have a serious dilemma which I would love you to help me with.
 
All of my life I have believed you are born either male or female, and those that I called 'trans-gender' would dress as the opposite sex because they simply wanted to, and it was no big thing to them. You wear trousers today and a skirt tomorrow, if you know what I mean.
 
Years ago, it started to bug me when certain people would say that although they were born male, all their natural tendencies from childhood were to be a woman. They played with dolls, they loved wearing girl's clothes, high heels, loved women's jewelry etc. and this behavior continued into their adulthood, a lot of the times in secret. A similar scenario happened with my gay friend, she said from a child she had always had a natural tendency towards women and that's all she knows. She went through therapy and everything but she is convinced that's how she was made.  I then started to think, with all the abuse gays, trans-gender or similar groups get from society, why would they continue to hold fast to this, and be it in public. Were they really born this way?
 
Then I discovered there was something called 'intersex'. A person having both the genitalia of a man and woman at the same time (Pseudohermaphroditism) and that there are varying groups within it.
 
So, as an example, you could actually look like a man on the outside, with male genitals, yet have ovaries like a woman on the inside or vice-versa.

I am quite gob-smacked and shocked and my brain went into fast overdrive. Firstly because it raises the argument that there is a possibility that although you are born male, you didn't just choose to become a woman, but your brain (or whatever the medical term is) actually is that of a woman (I don't know how else to word this). So all the things that these men did from childhood up was actually the same as what little girls do, then women do etc etc. Some of these men (who are women) actually go on to have relationships with other men but don't believe they are gay. Would you call it a heterosexual relationship then?
 
Now, if all of this is true, then why aren't these people being treated the same as everyone else? Why is it so shocking to see a big burly man dressed up as a woman on a Saturday afternoon whilst shopping?
Dilemma - If all that I have said so far is true, is it fair to now say that it is perfectly natural for him to behave this way?
 
As a society we accept that people can be born with many physical and mental disabilities, so could it be that at times, and not at anyone's fault, that someone we see as a man could actually be born a woman or visa-versa?
So, we are born male, female and at times intersex!
 
So another dilemma - Who decides what we are? Is it the doctor, is it us, or is it society?
 
I would really appreciate your honest views and opinions on this (Help!)

Worth Killing For?

How far would you go to defend your property? Stab a person several times blinding them in one eye, shoot someone in the legs, attack them with a bat or hockey stick or even go as far as to kill them? These are just some of the varied lengths that homeowners have gone to in order to defend their property. Some homeowners, rightly or wrongly, have even had legal action taken against them by the burglar due to the injuries they received whilst carrying out their unlawful activities. Cruel twist some may say! 

How about if your handbag or jewelry was grabbed from you in the street by a robber, or your car was being 'jacked/stolen' by a thief right in front of you. How far would you go to defend your goods? Some people have chased down the thief and given them a good beating. Others have been killed by their own car wheels whilst struggling to get back what was rightfully theirs. 

I know how hard we have all worked to buy the things we want in life. 

Why should we tolerate a stranger stealthily sneaking through our homes during the midnight hours freely taking what doesn't belong to them? 
Why should we be in fear of our lives and scared to death knowing a trespasser is in our house? After all, if we don't attack them then they may attack us. Burglars don't come round to sit and have a chat, they don't knock the door and leave if you are out. They have one job to do and that is to take your goods. 

Some people even go to the extreme length of keeping a gun in their house for that 'special occasion'.

On the other hand, if we catch them red-handed, why attack?
Isn't it more dangerous to attack, leaving them no choice but to get physical in order to defend themselves? 
After all, we pay hard-earned tax money for a police force to deal with this. Is it really wise to try and do a D.I.Y. job instead of leaving it to the professionals?
Isn't it better to have some security measures such as an alarm etc. and make sure you keep your mobile phone within reach at all times?

What are your views on how the law should respond to this issue?
Do you think those that attack people in their own home deserve to be prosecuted?
What if the person is attacked from behind by the homeowner whilst they are in the process of leaving with the goods?
What if the person is already captured and no longer a threat and still the homeowner goes on beating them into a pulp. Can it be justified?

These are the nitty-gritty situations that occur everyday in the real world.

I would be delighted to hear your answers or viewpoints to any or all of these questions.

Dangerous Liaisons

I've just been having an intense debate about 'affairs' and I just can't understand the mindset of some people and I'm not even trying to say this in a derogatory way. Nowadays I seem to be in a minority on this one.

What is it that makes a man or woman in a long term relationship or marriage embark on having an affair? What is it that causes a person to lose their integrity, throw all morals out the window and drop common sense whilst at the same time suffer amnesia and turn into a professional liar? They do all of this for a bit of sex! Wow, things must be bad, but according to some folk, things are looking up - no pun intended.

I've been told that an affair can actually help and enhance a relationship by allowing someone else to step in and supply the sexual needs of the partner when their 'other half' is no longer willing or able to do so. I've even heard that in some cases they turn a blind eye to their partners affair. Really! 

Am I then wrong in thinking that 'Affairs' cause mistrust between people and can be extremely damaging and painful to both parties - more so for the one left behind? Is there no guilt or shame in destroying someone's marriage and splitting a family anymore? 

Am I the only one who can't see the point in dabbling with someone's else's partner and emotions on a serious level? How do you turn a blind eye knowing that your beloved is sewing their wild oats with someone else? And not only that, but be happy about it? 

Or are we so dependant and reliant on keeping a 'relationship' that we will allow and tolerate anything? Who's that special?

If you are a cheater, then do you really believe that you will be able to have a trustworthy long-term relationship with no issues with the person you are/were cheating with? 

I'm no angel but this one is too crazy for me. I'm gonna need some help here. 

Has anyone experienced the devastation of being betrayed?

Have you ever had an affair? and if so, how did it enhance your relationship?

Don't forget - you have the option to post 'anonymous'... and your secret will be safe with me. I'd love to hear your comments. 

Women Behaving Badly

When we think of Domestic Violence, we usually visualize a man beating a poor defenceless woman BUT this is not always the case. 

Firstly, there is a high percentage of men who are the silent victims and not the perpetrators. 

These men are nothing more than punching bags to vicious women who are unable to deal with their own frustrations and anger issues.  I've seen grown men being called names belittling their manhood, grown men being viciously taunted, cursed, provoked, humiliated and vilified because of silly mistakes. I've seen women foam at the mouth, so to speak, as they enjoy subtly shaming the man in front of his friends in order to show who is in control, who is the boss, and most importantly, who wears the trousers. These women are angels by day and demons by night, if you know what I mean. 

Can you imagine the guilt of feeling you are not good enough as a man? The guilt of believing that you are the cause of every argument or beating then blaming yourself for the way the other person is behaving towards you? Can you imagine the sheer embarrassment of that macho rugby playing 6ft man who wants to tell someone that his 5ft petite wife is verbally abusing and/or threatening him, accompanied by physically violence? Or how about the man that is completely dominated by the woman, he has no voice so can't speak out and if he dares to freely speak, he knows there will be repercussions? Or the man who used to be social but is now being kept away from family and friends due to his excessively jealous over-possessive girlfriend. She gets into serious rages thinking he is constantly having affairs.  

Secondly, Domestic Violence is not confined just to a husband or wife, it can be committed by couples in same-sex relationships, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents or even the in-laws. There are no barriers so you can be rich, poor, black, white, old or young.

Thirdly, as you've just seen, Domestic Violence can also be verbal or mental abuse. 

We'd all agree that kicking, punching, scalding, hitting or spitting is physical abuse, but how about belittling language? If this is the case, then how many of us in an argument haven't called our 'loved one' a name or two? Raised our voice in a fit of anger trying to make a point and win our case? 

We know there is such a thing as a heated arguement. Fine. We also know there is such a thing as emotional/verbal abuse. So at what point does one become the other?

I'm not asking this out of idle curiosity. If we are unable to answer this question, how can we recognise Domestic Violence when it rears its ugly head? 

Don't turn a blind eye to this. Check the stats on the internet. Why? How can you be sure it is not happening to your son, brother or  grandfather tonight? This could be happening right now to someone you know. I did say 'silent victims' earlier. These men suffer anxiety, depression, they feel exhausted and deflated as if defeated. 

I don't give a monkeys what excuse the perpertrators have for their behaviour, it is WRONG. It should not be tolerated or excused. 

Don't be afraid to ask questions if you think something is wrong and show your concern. Offer your help and support. Help that person to find  private and confidential assistance from professionals and give that person the information in a private setting.

I would love to hear your views about this topic. I would be grateful for any experiences, guidance or suggestions. 

What Is Your Purpose In Life?

Why do we fight so hard to cling on to life each day? And do you actually know the purpose for your existence? In short, do you believe that you have been born for a particular reason, and if so, what exactly is it?

Some people may belong to a belief system and they do their best to live by the rules of that particular group. They state they have a strong desire to become leaders, preachers, counsellors or Imams etc within those groups, and that is their main purpose in life. 

Others have no belief system but also feel they have a burning ambition to become a doctor, fireman, engineer or politician, and will dedicate their life to gaining the relevant qualifications and training to do what they feel they have been called to. Some of those people will tell you that they had that strong sense or desire since they were a child, and they are now achieving their goal. They wake up every morning and can't wait to seize the day. 

But this is not the case for everyone. Regardless of what group you belong to in society, what if you have absolutely no idea what your purpose in life is? You may be employed or unemployed, rich or poor, sick or healthy, but you feel like a rolling stone gathering no moss. You feel that, like a needle in a haystack, your purpose just cannot be found. 

You just simply bounce in and out of each day with a sense that you have nothing to show for it.

As a wild thought, could this be one reason why so many people suffer from illnesses such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, and even end up committing suicide because they cannot see any purpose for their life? Could it be that having a 'purpose' would govern how we behave today? I'm not saying that troubles won't come up and bite us in the posterior at times, knocking us off our course, but at least we have an aim. 

Sometimes we are thrown further off course because others try to force us into what they think our purpose in life should be. Ever felt your parents, peers, school or workplace or other outside pressures were molding you to be something other than who you feel yourself to be from the inside?

It doesn’t seem to me that previous generations suffered so much from this. Could it be that this purposelessness is a symptom of modern living?

Can you relate to the experience of having a strong sense of purpose?

Or is it the opposite for you?

What impact do you see your sense of purpose, or lack of it have on your life?

Please share your views and experiences.

Immigrants - In or Out?

What is it about immigration that sends us into a tail spinning frenzy? Why is it that we hate to share our country with others? 

From where I stand, a high majority of British people that I know, are against immigrants. This is because they see them as coming into this country and claiming benefits when they have never worked here. They feel they are using up our free National Health Service without first contributing to it. They feel immigrants are getting their housing needs met instantly, when others have been on a waiting list for accommodation for years. They blame immigrants for taking our jobs when there is already such a high rate of unemployment, especially during this economic downturn. 

I really began to look around me and this is what I saw. 

Yes, there is a high unemployment rate, but when you look at some of the immigrants who are employed, they are the ones doing the low paid jobs that most of us don't want to do. Look at the cleaners, yes, those that clean the public toilets after you have used them. Look at the dustbin men who pick up your litter and clean our streets, sometimes when we are tucked up nicely in bed. Look at the foreign labourers on building sites, the ones who are building our future homes, the homes those immigrants may never be able to afford. Let's not forget the ones who work on the buses, the underground systems and who drive our mini-cabs. Without them, London would be at a stand-still. When was the last time you ordered a take-away? Who delivered it? I honestly cannot recall right now the last time a take-away driver was not foreign. 

Let's take a look at the asian shop-keeper. Everyone loves to complain that there is an asian shop owner on every corner, and they are open all hours of the day and night and they are 'taking over'  Why shouldn't they be, in a sense?

If British people don't want to work all those hard hours for mediocre pay, then don't begrudge the man who does. If British workers don't wish to work 7 days a week with hardly any holidays each year, then don't begrudge those who do. 

There are so many jobs that many people just won't do as it is 'beneath them'. So when a immigrant who is grateful to earn a penny to put food on the table for his family does, why do we make such a fuss?

Immigration is a serious concern without proper border control and laws in place. If we don't want them to claim benefits, then blame the government and parliament, to get the rules changed and not the person who is making a legal claim. We are also at liberty to vote, to lobby parliament and so forth. 

If we don't want them in our country then take some time and think about the following: 

The clothes you are wearing, what country did it come from?

The foods you are eating and the coffee you are drinking, where were they produced? I bet the majority of those lovely strawberries you see at wimbledon tennis tornaments were picked by immigrants!

The gas or electric you are using to keep yourself warm, where did that come from?

I don't believe any country in this world is totally self sufficient. We need each other in order to survive. 

If you are one of those who hates immigrants then be true to yourself and have absolutely nothing to do with them. You'll end up cold, naked, hungry and very lonely indeed. 

Got a beef with immigrants? Then let me have it. You can always post anonymously if concerned. Remember the rules folks. 

Honesty - Is There Any Such Thing As A White Lie?

There really is no such thing as a white lie. You are either honest or dishonest, you either tell the truth or lie. Simple.

On a daily basis we make decisions based upon the information available to us at the time. If that information is partial or flawed in some way, the soundness of our decisions may be compromised, limited or affected. How many wars have been based on inaccurate or dishonest information? How many relationships have failed due to lies and deceit?

Relationships are based on trust, and trust depends upon honesty. If a person is dishonest with you about one single thing, don't you begin to call into question everything they have said to you in the past, and won't it affect their credibility in the future?

Dishonesty is a tool that we use to cover things up, a temporary measure until the s**t hits the fan, (so to speak). Once you use this tool, you find yourself on a never ending cycle of having to lie to cover up the previous lie, sometimes until the lie has eventually been exposed, leaving egg all over your face.
The moment you start finding yourself in circumstances where you have to go to such pains to hide what is being said or done, then you know you are being dishonest. 

Yes, the truth does hurt. But speaking or being told the truth with the right attitude, when it's not being used as an evil weapon, will give you the reputation for being honest. It takes away the burden of having to constantly be mentally on guard. 

I'm not asking everyone to make it their sole mission to expose every known truth, be it good or bad about every little thing. It's about being personally responsible in telling the truth when you find yourself in an awkward situation. You could choose to remove yourself out of that situation before giving an instant answer thus allowing yourself time to think and how to respond. You have a choice. 

 

Some people will coerce you to lie, sometimes on their behalf. But have you noticed they never do it themselves? The amount of people that will stand in a court room, big bible in one hand, swear on oath before God and then blatantly lie is beyond me. 

If you want people to tell you the truth, then tell the truth to them. 

No doubt at times you will create lifelong enemies, sometimes with a vengeful lust. That's their problem, not yours, continue to be honest. 

Presidents, Prime Ministers, Bishops, Kings, Managers, Queens, Pastors, leaders of all sorts have all lied and been openly dishonest in abundance at some time or other and NEVER has it done anything  but leave devastation and destruction in its wake.

Have you ever lied about something and bitterly regretted it?

Has someone else's dishonesty and/or lies ever affected you?

Can dishonesty be justified positively?

Smacking A Child - Right or Wrong

Do you believe it is a form of discipline to smack a child when you know they are doing or saying something wrong, or is it just pure abuse of authority because you are unable to control your own temper?

I am of the persuasion that children are not always beaten or smacked in a fit of anger, but rather because the parents have no idea how to discipline, no idea how to raise a child or are just repeating the process of what their parents did to them.

I can clearly remember being beaten because I failed to make the right decision according to what my parent wanted . Beaten because I was too scared to answer my parent's question in fear of escalation and beaten if I had dared to answer back in defence, even when I was in the right. I was verbally abused and accused on a regular basis.

Can you imagine being told by a parent to go and fetch the belt, the one with the big buckle? Only then to be told that it is the wrong belt, and you have to now replace it with a larger belt? It's like handing the executioner his weapon.  Oh, I remember it like yesterday. Social workers? Hell no, my parent had full control over them too....

Most of this had nothing to do with my parent being angry or providing discipline for wrong doing. Rarely were those beatings due to any kind of bad behaviour on my part, although bad behaviour was the excuse used by my parent to justify their actions to us and to others. 

 With great confidence I can say that beatings were very common in the black community when I was growing up. In fact, it wasn't until I was a teenager that I realised this was not the norm in the wider non-black community. As an adult I further realised that the behaviour my parent portrayed was about abuse and control, and nothing to do with discipline.

With all that said, do I as a sensible adult believe in smacking a child ? Yes.

If you have given a child ample warnings, especially in situations where they could be in danger, I would have no issue with smacking them. But then, I clearly know the difference between smacking and beating.  Saying that, some children clearly will listen to your explanation and not repeat naughty  behaviour.

Tell me your experiences and/or comments as to whether you agree with Smacking Children.