Great Expectations

Love is in the air. Matters of the heart are about to be exposed as Valentine's Day approaches. Who doesn't want to be pampered, adored and romanced like mad? Who doesn't want to get that unexpected engagement ring, be told 'I love you' or be whisked off to some exotic place for a weekend of passion? I'm sure you wouldn't say no to a romantic spa together, candles included.
 
Whether you believe it or not, I'm sure you're secretly hoping for that card to drop through your letter box from a secret admirer or your loved one. Or the hubbie to return home with the biggest bunch of roses you've seen in a long while. I bet every time someone comes into the office with a package, you automatically think the gift must be for you. I bet you spend all day waiting in anticipation for that special Valentine's surprise. C'mon be honest, I know you are.
 
But how will you react if you get a big fat NOTHING? No recognition, no invite, no proposal. Nothing. And this is where the colostomy bag hits the fan.
 
For many people this is a time of year when numerous hearts are broken. People feel pressurized to make decisions they'll regret a month later. People feel forced into saying things they don't mean, doing things they don't really want to do and buying things they had no intention of buying. Valentine's Day is a nightmare for them.  It's a day of dread and I'll tell you why!

Because there's going to be the women looking for that wedding ring. They left no stone unturned taking care of their man. They ironed his clothes, cooked his meals, the passion was on his terms, and it didn't matter to them. They were willing to pay his house bills whenever he was short of cash, even if they had to put their own bills on hold. These men are without want. These women are the perfect unmarried unrecognised housewives. Well, it's Valentine Day, he's tried the goods for long enough and wants to move on WITHOUT her. Well, what incentive could she give him now? There'll be tears at bedtime for many and a testing time as Miss Perfection turns into Miss Repercussion.
 
And what about the guys who will have pressure building to busting point? They've bought the ring, rehearsed the words, practiced a good drop to one knee, booked the fancy restaurant and informed her family. He's going to have one hell of a shock when she says NO.  And she'll have one hell of a time whilst he plays Mr Stalker until he gets her out of his system.
 
How about the couple whose been married for 30 years. She wants to keep the flame alive. She spent days choosing him a nice gift. She wrapped it nicely and it took her hours trying to write the right words of love to him. He comes home with a weak 'Thank You' and leaves it on the side before getting ready for bed. Her heart will be broken yet again.
 
And I can't forget the ones who are too timid or polite to refuse an invite. They'll go out to dinner hating every moment of it with a smiling face. Well, that's what happens when you can't say NO. Time never flies when you're having a date from hell on a day like this.
 
So you see my friends. There will tears of joy and sorrow on a mingled day of expectations or repercussions.
 
Questions
What do you do for your loved ones on Valentines Day or how do you celebrate it?
How do you keep your love afresh? Especially if you've been married for a while?
Have you ever used Valentine's Day to kick someone out of your life by ending a relationship? 
 
I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Till Death Us Do Part?

Let's face it. In life lots of relationships don't work out. People who once couldn't be without each other for 5 minutes end up provoking blood lust on sight. They went from lovebirds to vicious fighting bulldogs in the human ring. What happened?

Common sense says that when a relationship is in serious trouble or at death's door the best option is to make a clean break and not prolong the agony, because staying together past that point creates not only verbal tension, but also many wasted days, months and precious years. And life is already too short to spend fighting. 

So, at what point do you realise that staying together to 'work it out' is actually resulting in more animosity, more bitterness and more long term hate? How do you recognise that point of no return when the end becomes inevitable? 

The haunting question then becomes 'If I do throw in the towel, how will I ever know if we had stuck it out a little longer and worked a little harder that we couldn't have made it work?' 

We have grandparents and great-grandparents who said 'till death us do part' and stuck to it. Divorce was highly unusual in their day. What secret did they know that we don't? Was it just staying power through thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poorer? After all, that's what they signed up to! Or were they living in secret misery for fear of public shame, tolerating the intolerable.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in an domestic abusive relationship, and I don't care if they do have children. Run like your pants is on fire, I say.

But, marriages are dropping like flies and relationships don't last as long as they used to. You can get a divorce as quick as you can get a credit card. Then it's a case of move on to partner number **?**.  But I can't help feeling that divorce is sometimes taken as an easy way out with undue haste. There's just no staying power. Am I wrong? 

So, my question is:
Has divorce been made too easy and readily available?
Does marriage mean anything in today's society or is it just a piece of paper?
At what point should you separate from a person in a relationship if things are not going too well?

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

You Poor Thing!

Well I guess it just has to be that important time again. Christmas and the New Year are done and dusted. The festivities have come to an end. Our bellies are full, our glasses are empty and so are our bank accounts. The sales have taken your last bit of money. Those overpriced gifts that we used credit to pay for are no longer appreciated. The kids have dashed the expensive toys on the floor. Your friends don't like the scent of the latest perfume you bought them and to make matters worse, the little black designer dress which cost you a month's pay no longer fits after the bout of over-indulgence.
 
And there you are right now, counting the cost and complaining that you don't have enough money to cover the mortgage/rent. You Poor Thing!
 
There you are, giving the kids the evil eye for requesting a lollipop, arguing with the wife about the ongoing bills. Robbing Peter to pay Paul trying to make ends meet. Oh you Poor Thing!
 
There you are, pleading poverty, looking for your dead grandmother's diamond ring to Pawn. Begging your own father to help you out because you are in dire-straights. Now his hard earned savings are to be dwindled on you.

But I just don't understand it anymore. Why do people subject themselves to conforming to what others do in society? That flexible credit card is not your friend and neither is it YOUR money. Why do people opt for 'buy now and pay later'? Didn't it cross your mind that your financial circumstances might change, especially during this economic downturn? Job today, gone tomorrow! Now you're off to the food bank. Well, you really are a poor thing now.
 
You thought you could create the perfect Christmas/New Year merely by throwing money at it. Now little Johnny won't have nowhere to put his Playstation because the house is gone!
After all, you've done everything you can to make sure your family/friends had a good time for a few days, but at the cost of the long term security. Isn't the whole year more important than those few days of indulgence?
 
'Waste not, want not' has become a 'can't wait, won't wait' world. Is this the kind of example you want to teach your children?
 
I'm not trying to blight anyone's fun. I'm not asking you to do nothing at all. I'm just saying, let's not ruin your own life by falling into a financial trap based on traditions. Count the cost mate!
 
So my question is:

• Have you ever over-spent during a holiday season and regretted it later?
• What pressurises you into being tempted to spend more than you've got?
• Have you ever had to dig yourself out of debt, and if so how did you manage this? 

I'd love to hear your comments, views and opinions.

Neighbours Behaving Badly

Neighbours, don't get me started on this one. I can talk for England about this subject but I'll keep it short. Ahem!
 
Bad neighbours are the bane of my life. They drive me nuts, they bring out things in me I didn't know existed. There were times when I contemplated doing prison time rather than live next door to them. Thankfully, the authorities got there before I did.
 
I've lived next door to a few bad apples in my day and mark my words, they almost put me in the pysch ward at the nut house. The constant thumping of the bass music which was played as if they were deaf. Banging late at night which made me want to kick their front door off it's hinges. 

    

I was forced to listen to in-depth relationship arguments every weekend after their boozy night out, always coupled with physical punch-ups, lengthy screams and the sound of smashing furniture. And it was me that had to get out of my warm bed to tell them to 'keep it down'. It was me that was verbally abused because I tried to reason with them and it was me that was left to call the police. My actions turned me into the bad guy. My good was being evil spoken of. Can anyone work that out?

Try living next door to Mr Psycho. I did for a time. Every window of the house coated in tin-foil. Construction site noises coming from his home during the day and visits from 'ladies of the night' through to the early morning, disturbing my much needed sleep in the process. Yes I complained politely... and he answers the door wearing a mask, rubber gloves and his house looks like a bomb has gone off inside. Every natural instinct told me to steer a mile clear of this one. He then goes on the 'defensive' accusing me of picking on him - flaming cheek. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet in my own home. But you can't argue with stupid. I saw Mr Psycho a year after I moved away. I smiled to say 'hello' and guess what? He wasn't happy. He followed me on his bike shouting harsh curse words, swearing for 20 minutes. He was on the attack mate. Once again I'm the bad guy.
 
Would I do it again? Hell yes. If you don't disturb me, then I won't disturb you.  I don't even have the time to deal with the neighbours who spew out babies and allow them to run rampant destroying the communal areas, increasing my service charges. Try having a reasonable conversation with their parents, just bring your shield because it always ends bad. And how about the ones who don't pick up after their dogs have deposited their stools outside your door? I pay good money for my shoes.
 
Love your neighbour? Boy, that's a big ask on the best of days!
 
So my question is:
Have you ever had neighbours behaving badly? Please share your story with us.
Are you comfortable reporting your neighbours to the authorities when they behave badly?
Has a neighbour ever complained about your behaviour? - C'mon, be honest now!

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

Can Discrimination Ever Be Positive?

Ever heard of 'Positive Discrimination' or 'Affirmative Action'? Well, I've just found out that it's no myth! 

The term was coined by President JFK in America. The basic idea was that certain groups in society - in this case African Americans - had suffered such massive historical disadvantages and discrimination based on race, that they did not realistically have the same opportunity to succeed as everyone else. So therefore active steps needed to be taken to ensure that such minority groups were represented and hired in organizations, government and businesses. It's led to the adoption of hiring quotas (in some countries) in which a certain number must come from previously under-represented groups.

It covers a lot of areas from employment decisions, admission to educational institutions and even public health to name but a few. 

The claim is that 'reverse discrimination' - at least for a period of time - is the only way to restore complete equality in the long term. But is this the case?

On the surface it sounds simple, but in reality it actually means that if there is a lack of black people, for example, in a workplace, then in the event of 2 equally qualified people going for the same job, one black and one white, the employer opts to give the post to the black person from the underrepresented group in order to correct the balance.

No wonder many countries refuse it, as it seems tantamount to unequal treatment to many. They simply choose to treat all people the same.

How can people be preferred purely on ethnicity or origin? Doesn't this actually devalue the person's real accomplishments? I mean, isn't it a bit patronising? This policy could actually end up damaging the people it seeks to help because others will assume 'she only got the job because she was black or a woman etc, not because she was the strongest candidate'.

It also keeps people constantly aware of the barriers that divide us, creating more resentment between different groups, increasing rather than reducing racial tension. 

Perhaps you only agree with it when it is focused on one particular area and not another. For example - you may agree that more women should be seen in top positions, but not necessarily more disabled or ethnic minorities?

So I ask:

• Is Positive Discrimination a good or bad thing?
• Should employers in a multicultural society be forced to have a balance of different ethnicity or equal numbers of men and women in the workplace? 
• Have you ever been chosen over someone else based on your race, culture, ethnicity or sex?

I'd love you to share your comments, views and opinions.

To the Grave - Old Age

Who says old age is nothing but a number? As a society we seem to be terrified of it. We run from it like the plague and we'll do anything to keep it at bay. 

Look at the millions spent buying products to hide or cover our naturally aging bodies. Creams to iron out the wrinkles of time, creams to disguise those liver spots, which we fondly refer to as 'death spots'. Chemical peels in an attempt to force the skin to rejuvenate itself. We endure sucks and tucks for that shameful over-stretched sagging skin. And what about the pain of undergoing surgery to pull the face north when the body is gravitating south? Need I mention the excess bags that accumulate under the eyes? If products can't shift it, surgery will.  But I thought age was nothing but a number.

Some say 'you're as old as you feel' but the fact is, even if you feel 21, you're still and old 71 - ouch!

I say - what's all the fuss about? What are we so afraid of?

I mean, why can't we just view it in a positive light and accept it? 

Those bags under your eyes, you worked damn hard to get those and anyone who can survive on earth with all it's pollutants for that long, will produce those telling signs. 

That hoary head, is proof that you've lived enough to be full of wisdom and are capable of giving sound advice.

Those old weary bones might be frail now but they once built homes, fixed cars, and went to war. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Those liver spots serve as reminders to others, to give up their seat, hold open that door or to usher you to the front of the queue. Not bad at all. You can turn your selective hearing on whenever you please and dress crazy without anyone batting an eyelid, it's all wrapped up in being old aged. You can speak your mind with less offence and guzzle the wine more easily - everyone will pass it off as being elderly. 

The whole package is a badge of honour! So what's so wrong with growing old gracefully?

What's all the trouble I hear about one being old
Your face folds into wrinkles and your room smells of mould
Your hair changes colour whether you like it or not
The smell of your body, gently tells you 'it's rot'!

Why should we care, cos we've had all our time
we've lived and we've loved and we've spent our last dime

Are you doing anything to keep old age at bay?
Do you relish being old or do you hate it?
Do you make allowances for old people?

I'd love to hear your views, comments, experiences and opinions.

Better Off Alone!

Loner. Unsociable. Recluse. Just some of the labels society slaps on a person who prefers their own company to that of others.

But what's so wrong about a person being more comfortable on their own? We constantly encourage people to love themselves and be comfortable in their own skin, but as soon as you take time out on your own, you are labeled as if you are a freak. 

Isn't there something wrong with the person who has to continually be around other people? There are some people who just can't sit still for 5 minutes. Their phones are always engaged, they are never home and every time you try to contact them they are busy. Why isn't that seen as unhealthy?

Isn't it possible to have too many friends and be socially addicted? I'm talking about the person who can't hold down a decent conversation because they're constantly texting, tweeting or checking their emails. The person who has spread themselves so thinly that they are too busy to truly form a strong relationship with anyone. I don't know about you, but I find it more lonely in a crowd of acquaintances than being by myself in my room. 

Over the years I've wondered if there is something wrong with me. I can spend days on end by myself without the slightest urge to see anyone or pick up the phone. I feel peaceful, content, and stress-free. Chaos and confusion is left outside whilst I'm serene in my bubble. Where's the crime in that?

There are also many famous people who were deemed to have reclusive tendencies such as John Swartzwelder - comedy writer of 'The Simpsons'. Johnny Carson - NBC host of The Tonight Show. Daniel-Day Lewis - Actor of My Left Foot and Stanley Kubrick director of A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Space Odyssey to mention a few. It just goes to show that even if you don't crave the company of others, you can still achieve your goals.

Do you prefer to spend most of your time alone or in the company of others?

Do you think it's unhealthy to spend vast amounts of time on your own?

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

Positive Affirmation - Really?

Okay, so I'm a bit stuck with this one and I'm struggling.  You see, I understand that we should aim to have a positive outlook on life and even when we endure hard times we should try to look for the light at the end of the tunnel, find that silver lining in the dark clouds or encourage ourselves if possible. 

I'm coming across more and more people who believe in this thing called 'Positive Affirmation'. It goes far deeper than looking on the bright side when all around you is in chaos. And it's very different from someone having a naturally positive attitude. 

I mean, people actually believe that if you continue to speak repetitive positive things 'into your life' then it will happen. Furthermore, if you write positive affirmations around your home or work then these affirmations will come true.  So in essence, if you continuously say or chant the words 'I love myself' or 'I will be successful' for a long enough period of time, then you WILL love yourself and become successful. 

Really?

Whatever floats your boat. But I get frustrated when I'm trying to have a conversation with someone who keeps constantly correcting me. I'm just trying to accurately describe what's going on and how I feel but they insist on me editing out the parts that they don't think are 'positive'. 

Here's an example. If you say ' I hate this job, I find it so boring". Mr Positive Affirmation says " Don't say that! It sounds like self pity to me. Instead you need to declare this "I love my job and find it enjoying and fulfilling". 

It's as though they believe that acknowledging that you're not happy about something actually makes it go wrong. There seems to be a modern superstition that every word casts some kind of spell, like speaking something into being. 

But what's so wrong with being real? Thinking positive in bad circumstances is one thing, but can it, by itself, get you out of the situation? And by the way, at what point do we acknowledge that all is not well? At what point does this wishful thinking become a person actually lying, to others and to themselves? 

Does all this 'Positive Affirmation' force people to walk around with a false smile on their face living in denial?

Does anyone actually know what I'm talking about? 
Have you encountered 'Positive Affirmation' yourself?
Doesn't creating such a gap between reality and what you admit impact on mental health?


I would love to hear your views, opinions or comments.

No-Nonsense Women

"I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England at that!" The words spoken by a great woman who had power, authority and strength. Queen Elisabeth the First.
 
"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman". Words spoken by one of the most powerful and divisive leaders that Great Britain has ever seen. Baroness Margaret Thatcher, ex Prime Minister who passed away last week.
 
Regardless to what you personally think about these women or their politics they had common traits. Determination, resilience, boldness, courage, strength of character, a willingness to take risks and a fearless heart. They stood up against strong minded men who tried to oppose and challenge them. They persisted with their aim and got the program done. These women knew what they wanted and didn't allow anyone to stop them.
 
Dare I neglect to mention all the other unsung heroines who bring the same qualities to everyday life. Women who are the backbone of their families, that successful business, that international industry. Without them it would not work. But wait, isn't that the problem? Their contribution is only valued so long as they stay in the background, the moment they try to step into leadership, they get shot down.
 
So are women still facing cultural, male dominated, obstacles today? Even Thatcher was trained to lower and deepen her voice!

They say you have to be strong and hard to get on and achieve. But if a woman acts too tough, they say she is no longer feminine. Come on and be honest now - If a woman behaves daintily, or presents herself too attractively, is she really taken seriously?
 
While men can just get down to business, women have to walk this tightrope and in some cases, still get the same job done, if not to a higher standard.
 
So, can a woman be strong and powerful without being manly? I mean, is there a type of strength that is better suited to women than to men?
 
What actually makes a woman powerful?
Who are the powerful women in your life and how did they influence you?
Are powerful women viewed or portrayed as negative?
Do men fear a powerful woman?

I'd love to hear your comments, views, and opinions.

Snitch

Now, this is a real tough one as nobody wants to be known as a 'squealer', 'snitch' or 'grass' and everyone's heard of some of the deadly consequences associated with people who reveal secrets, especially within the criminal world. 

But let's take away the death aspect of it all - although you can never be sure that someone won't commit suicide or take a life!

What if you were confidentially given unequivocal information that would affect the life of a colleague, friend or family member? What if you revealing that information meant they could avoid severe consequences such as prison, personal injury or loss of livelihood? Remember, it's not just about helping a friend. By doing so you would also be betraying the person or organisation who gave you that information and jeapordising your own reputation. In other words, you can't play both sides. Would you squeal? 

Or on the other hand, take the opposite case. What kind of wrongdoing would push you so far as to pass information about a friend or loved one to the authorities?

What if they were cheating on their taxes or insurance?
What if they were defrauding innocent members of the public?
What if they were smuggling drugs or people into the country?
Would that make you squeal? If not what would it take?

What's the difference between revealing 'secret' information to a friend and revealing 'secret' information to the authorities? Either way, isn't it the same thing? Please enlighten me. 

Sometimes in life, taking sides becomes inevitable. One man's hero is another man's traitor.

I'd love to hear your views, comments and opinions.

An Evil Presence

I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time now simply because I have found it very hard to put into explainable words my experience of what I call an evil spirit or presence.

We can all let our imagination run wild with fairy tales, fables, or horror films but I'm talking about having a very real strong overwhelming feeling that something, someone or wherever you are, you can sense an evil spirt or presence around you. I'm not the kind of person to easily jump to spiritual conclusions if I hear a noise in the middle of the night, can't find my keys or keep losing things around the house AND neither am I the type to casually blame every wicked deed on an evil spirit, but if anyone has ever had an experience with anything of an evil nature then you'll know what I'm talking about. And I'm sure I'm not going crazy, or am I?

To cut a long story short, I have seen a woman whom I knew for some time completely change character within seconds and speak in what I could only call a demonic voice. The tone, the snarl, the sound, her eyes totally glazed over as if nobody was home and something just took control of her for what seemed to be minutes. I will never ever forget it and there were independent witnesses present who saw and heard the exact same thing.

On another occasion, there was a building that I used to go to every week. Whenever I came within at least 30 yards of the door, I felt as if a darkness fell over me, the blood was draining from my body, I felt scared with an over powering sense not to go in there. I just knew that that building was surrounded by something very real and very evil. I just can't explain it enough. It is one thing to believe that evil spirits exist and it's another thing to have experienced it. 

Lastly, another experience I've had when sleeping is an evil presence sitting on my chest like a heavy weight, pulling me. I feel paralysed but can't wake up to get it off me. It's a horrible evil feeling. 

Do you believe in evil spirits or even demonic possession?
Is there any connection between mental illness and demonic possession?
Have you ever experienced what I call an evil spirit or presence? Can you share them with us. 

I'd love to hear your views, opinions and comments.

Anti-Social Networking

Addiction - a word normally associated with drink or drugs - but can you also be addicted to social media/internet? It seems to me that some people can't get enough of it.

On one hand, I see it as a great way to express views, meet like-minded cyber-friends from all different backgrounds and from around the world - all whilst sitting in the comfort of my own home.   

It's a cheap and very easy way to stay in contact with family/friends abroad and it allows lonely people the opportunity to socialise. Social media can help you stay connected to your fellow man. Not bad eh?

Want instant information at your finger-tips? Search the internet. Fancy talking to someone? Skype them or use online chat. Facebook, twitter and many other sites are great places to contact vast amounts of people very quickly. The internet is a great place to promote a worthy cause, and even get petitions up and running quickly. I love social media.

But what about the ugly, dark flip-side to it? 
Do you really know who sits behind those computers, or do you even care? Many of us have avatars, provide hapless names and can become faceless people we are not. Even a photograph provides no proof that it is of you! I read that a blogger found her own family picture under someone else's name. 

Also, we lose vital time at work and home spending valuable time on the internet or social networking. It's hard for people to get our attention in real life because we are so busy checking our emails (whilst we're eating dinner), texting (whilst driving - all the while condemning drink driving!), being 'poked' or poking others on sites (or am I already out of date?). I've almost broken my ankle doing long jump because my email bleeped me. We feel naked going out without our mobiles.  Some of us have lost track of what is happening in the real world around us because of it. 

Are we even aware that there are online predators, or do we only recognise them after we have been 'caught' in their net?

Do those people who boast about the great foreign holiday they're about to embark on, stop to think that a burglar may be reading that message? Cross-referenced with their home address, that is a recipe for robbery!

Do parents care about the amount of information they divulge with photos of their children on things like facebook without even blinking an eye? I mean, most parents wouldn't normally give this info to a stranger on the street, so why parade it on social sites? I wonder if any of that information has been used to groom children? Just a wild thought. 

Every time you open a new account your are required to give details of your name, email address, gender or suchlike. Different accounts have different disclosures of personal information. Bit by bit, every personal detail about you is put on the internet for all to see, or for dubious characters to gather and hack into. How about the ones that form close personal relationships with the unsuspecting innocent ones? Many of those in such situations end up with their hearts broken, their bank balance being greatly reduced or being scammed in various ways. Well, to my shame, I've been stung too. I befriended a nut... but I'll save that for another post, because it ended well for me. 

Do you spend too much time on the internet, and why?
Have you ever been scammed in some way, or even suffered a troll, what did you do about it?
Do you have any safe tips on being secure on social sites or the internet?

I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments and views.

Political Discrimination

Last week in England a foster carer had 3 Eastern European children removed from her care, simply because she was a member of a certain political group that took a stance against immigration. The issue I want to go into here is not about immigration, or the particular party she was a member of, but whether or not we should have a right to stop someone from doing a particular job because that person is a member of a group that we don't agree with or support. 

In England it is well known that we have a lack of foster carers for ethnic minority children, and it is a bonus when foster carers have no problem raising a child regardless to their ethnic origin. Isn't that what it should be all about?

Is it in the best interest of the children for social services to be reluctant to place them in families that are of a different ethnicity to them. The result? It's much harder for black and mixed-race children to find foster families, and they are left to languish in a care system that is far from ideal. Is this really helping them?

On another angle, can you imagine being in a job for years and then all of a sudden your boss informs you that because you have voted or become a member of a certain political party then you must leave the business? 

I mean, many of us would have heard of the Klu Klux Klan, but let's pretend that you have worked side by side with the person for years and never had a problem communicating well with them until you found out who they support. Would you consider it fair for them to loose their job on account of this? Or does their politics have any impact at all on their competence for the job?  

Do the politics of the people your rub shoulders with, impact on your life?

Have you ever dis-owned your work colleague or friend just because they voted for the oppossition or a politcal party that you didn't agree with? And what made you change your view of them?

I'd really like to hear your views, opinions and comments on this.

Voter or Joker?

I'm sure that most of the world knows by now, that America is about to take the big vote. Should we be bothered or should we take note? Does it really matter who is in power, after all, whatever these polititians  say now does not always have any affect after they have taken up office, so why is it so important that we should waste our time voting anway?

For many years I have heard many critisms about voting. Some are justified and many are not. 

How can you really just sit back and do nothing, then without shame start to verbally abuse the person in power because of what they are now doing? 

Should we not be happy that we live in societies where we can vote with our feet so to speak without fear of reprisals? Many countries don't have the freedoms we do and voting can be a matter of life or death. 

Just one example, to put my point across, let's look at black people in the US. Digging back into a time AFTER slavery, blacks were discouraged from voting in many states when it should have been a right. They were not given details of how and when to vote, a poll tax was used, knowing they could not afford to pay it,  and even if they could afford it many were not able to read or write. I read today that black slaves were counted as 'three fiths' of a white or freed black person in regards to voting. With that in mind, why wouldn't a black American person do all they can now to exercise that right now?

Conversely, if voting was so insignificant, why did blacks, the common people and women have to fight so hard to win it?

Shouldn't we be overjoyed that the person we voted for will run our country the way we want? Why is it that so many people still feel that it's ok not to vote?

Do we ever think about the harsh struggles that won many of us the vote? But now, years later, after all they suffered we sit back with our legs up, beer or tea in hand, and can't even be bothered to put a tick next to someone who may possibly change our future for the better? 

I know, it's difficult at times. Politicians are notorious for saying one thing, and as soon as they get into power they have a change of stance. But could it be because once in power they were shown what was really going on behind the scenes and their dreams were never going to make reality anyway? 

What if you were not able to vote right now? How would you feel?

What reason do you have for not voting? and can you justify it?

Do you feel that everyone is society should have a vote regardless to their disposition? 
(ie: the over 65's, under 18's, the mentally ill, those in prison etc.)

What do you think about all of this?

I'd love to hear your opinions and comment on this. 

Halloween - Trick or Treat?

It's that time of the year again when I become completely baffled as to why more and more people are partaking in something called Halloween. Nowadays, people are saying that it's harmless fun but from the little I know, how do you reconcile the past with Halloween today?

I'm no historian, but can tell you what I know, and I hope you take the time to fill in any gaps or misinformation on my part. I have never celebrated Halloween. Why?

Wasn't Halloween supposed to be a New Year Celebration of everything that was bad, wicked and evil? If that's true then why are we celebrating it?

Bonfire
How about the massive bonfire? On the most important day in the satanic year pagans, witches, druids etc. would gather around a big 'bone fire' (sic) which consisted of the bones of sacrificed humans and/or animals mixed with timber, and set it alight. This is where we get the name 'bonfire'. Some people even sacrificed themselves! Then when human sacrifices were stopped, effigies were burned instead. That's no joke.

Trick or Treat
Didn't homeowners use to leave food offerings on their door-steps to appease evil spirits? And if the spirits were not happy they would curse the homeowner. 

Didn't pagans, druids etc go door to door singing and praying for the dead? They would be given small cakes for this, and each eaten cake represented the soul of the dead being freed from purgatory. If you didn't provide them with a cake or not enough of it, weren't you and/or your family cursed? Isn't this too similar to what you do when you go trick or treat? If this is true, then what are you teaching your children? to curse your neighbours? Just a thought. 

Maybe I'm being a bit heavy here, but, at the very least, even if you as an adult find this OK, do you really believe it is suitable for children?

Masks
Didn't they wear masks or disguises to hide their identity from the roaming spirits to scare them away and that's why people now wear demonic looking masks on Halloween night? How about the famous pumkin lanterns which represent the souls of the dead? Thanks to a man named Jack who was a damned soul, this lantern was used to frighten away evil spirits, hence the carved out face when lit. The same thing is being done today. 

Have you ever thought that you could be unknowingly partaking in a ritual with a darker but real side to it? If you have ever experienced the real power behind satanism or witchcraft (for want of a better word, to make my point) and I'm not talking about wishy-washy magicians who do slight of hand tricks, or those that pretend to do 'natural' magic - then you'll know what I mean, otherwise ignore this sentence. 

You see, I'm just wondering if, by the same token, could it be that many years from now, when enough time has elapsed, we will all be celebrating the holocaust dancing around an oven? It might sound like a wild example, but isn't this what has happened with halloween?

Do you believe that these are the real origins of Halloween?
Is it really harmless fun, or is there a more sinister side to this?

I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and opinions on this.

Greed to Help Others

Give money to charity? What? Me?

Do I look like some sort of mug to you? Do I have 'muppet' or 'cash machine' tattooed on my forehead?

That guy sat on the street is probably only going to spend it on booze or junk anyway. And I don't work hard to subsidise someone else's habit. It's bad enough that the government does this already.

And what about Africa? Pull the other leg, it's got bells on! How do I know that the money gets beyond the pockets of the person I give it to, much less Africa. Probably a penny of every pound reaches there.

And anyway, don't those people need to learn to stand on their own two feet? So long as there's people to give them a handout they're never going to get off their backsides and take care of their business. It just might stop them having so many kids.

OR...

Your excuses are just a front for sheer greed. Look how much you've got? Food in the cupboard, a change of clothes and a roof over your head. Do you ever stop to think that the things you take for granted are luxuries to the majority of the world's population?

The reason why your country may be rich is because, historically, it has exploited other countries and robbed them of their natural resources. So why not give a little back?

What's a euro, pound or dollar to you? A couple of packets of biscuits, not even a can of beer. A sixth of a cinema ticket. But to someone else, that can be immunisation for their child against a deadly disease or goes towards a water pump to provide fresh clean water. Still clutching that dollar for dear life? 

How about that guy in rags you pass on your way to the station or supermarket? The one that stinks to high heaven. Alright he may be a faker, but what if he wasn't? What does your conscience tell you? Does it really say it's OK to pass him by, knowing you have some money to give, on the off-chance that he's not genuine?

Why can't we have a greed to help others?

These two voices exist inside my head. Please help me to decide which one to listen to, or better still, what do you do on a daily basis?

Have you ever been in an hour of need? Did people step up to help you or turn their backs?
Conversely, did you step up to help someone who then turned out to be a taker and faker?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this post. 

A Woman's Place?

Women. Why is it that I keep hearing how you want to be so equal with men?  You want positions of power within the workplace, you want to run large companies, flying from country to country to do business and conduct meetings. You want to leave the home early in the morning and return late at night and when you do have a moment, you want the luxuries of going out to dinner, expensive holidays and all the freedom that many men have. Hmmm. That's all well and good if you have no responsibilities to take care of. 


But wait! Have you forgotten that you have children languishing at home with no mummy in sight? The children some of you planned to have. Are you happy for another woman to raise your child, cook for them, attend the school plays, tuck them into bed, kiss them better when they fall over, and teach them the way to live?  Really? Some children are even left home alone, fending for themselves for periods of time whilst mummy progresses her career!

So I ask the question - should women with children be working at all until a child is of a certain age?

Doesn't it come down to an unavoidable choice between two options:
EITHER - suspend the career to have children OR - pursue the professional career and not have children.

I'm really not trying to offend career women or women who have to work to put food on the table, but rather have a constructive discussion about those who are trying to have their cake and eat it too.

You see, certain women are putting pressure on their employers by trying to juggle home life, work life and a social life. Women with children are likely to take more time off to deal with child illnesses, school holidays, extra dental and hospital visits etc throughout the whole year. They want to start work later in the mornings and leave earlier in the evenings to do the school runs. They want reduced flexible working hours without complaint. 

What if you are a small business owner? How could you continue to run a successful business if your employees were continually taking time off work due to their children? Can you imagine telling your boss you can't attend the next meeting because little Johnny is having difficulties at school?

If I was to tell you that a mother was neglecting her child, we would all be in uproar, but can neglect also be that the mother is never home to see/take care of her own kids, regardless to how much money she throws at them? 

Is it such a bad thing for women who want to have children to stay at home to raise them properly, then continue later with any career plans they may have?

We continuously blame the parents when children are raised by the streets and go crazy. Is it right to blame society for failing in raising children who should have been raised at home in the first place? We just can't have it both ways. Something has to give. 

How important is it to have a mother at home raising her own children?

Would you give up a career to have children or vice-versa?

Men, what is your opinion about career women having children or Stay-At-Home-Mums?

Ladies, how do you juggle working and being a mother, especially if you are in a prominent position at work?

Would love to hear your views, comments and opinions of this. 

Paralympics - Deadly Hidden Harm

The Greek hero Achilles was given a choice. Go to the battle of Troy, win great victories and have his fame live forever or stay at home, live in anonymity and have his name be forgotten. That same choice is being made here and now as London gears up for the 2012 Paralympics.

News agencies are reporting a cheating scandal far more drastic than the doping of regular olympic athletes.

Known as 'Boosting', Paralympians with spinal injuries are causing stress to their bodies which increases the heart rate and blood pressure because this can enhance their performance, giving them a greater edge over other competitors. Those who have spinal injuries may have difficulties raising their blood pressure and heart rate naturally with physical activity, so in order for them to maximise their performance they practice Boosting, which was banned in 1994. 

These same paralympians would go as far as to break bones in their feet, strangle their testicles, electrocute their scrotum (Yikes!), legs and/or feet, or sit on pins and use tight leg straps. 

These are only some of the techniques which have come to the attention of the authorities and it is likely there are more that have not yet come to light. It should be noted, however, that due to their condition, they are insensitive to the pain this would cause.

Boosting can lead to heart attacks, strokes, hypothermia, epilepsy, hypertension and and you could end up bursting blood vessels. All of this to win a medal? Good grief.

Nevertheless, all this raises some questions.

Would you live a mediocre life of everyday struggles and pleasures if you had the chance of immortal glory? Wouldn't it be worth the risk of throwing in all away for that? Just imagine you name in lights forever!

Is Boosting really cheating? Aren't they just manipulating their own bodies to achieve its full potential? 

How about Boxing, Formula One and Free Diving, recognized sports which have cost people their lives? Why can't paralympians have the same right to decide for themselves what risks they wish to take in their pursuit of excellence?

Not everyone will have the chance to go for olympic gold in this way, but is there anything that you would consider risking your health for? Isn't this what firemen, police and soldiers etc. do everyday?

Whatever your views, I would love to hear them.

Worth Killing For?

How far would you go to defend your property? Stab a person several times blinding them in one eye, shoot someone in the legs, attack them with a bat or hockey stick or even go as far as to kill them? These are just some of the varied lengths that homeowners have gone to in order to defend their property. Some homeowners, rightly or wrongly, have even had legal action taken against them by the burglar due to the injuries they received whilst carrying out their unlawful activities. Cruel twist some may say! 

How about if your handbag or jewelry was grabbed from you in the street by a robber, or your car was being 'jacked/stolen' by a thief right in front of you. How far would you go to defend your goods? Some people have chased down the thief and given them a good beating. Others have been killed by their own car wheels whilst struggling to get back what was rightfully theirs. 

I know how hard we have all worked to buy the things we want in life. 

Why should we tolerate a stranger stealthily sneaking through our homes during the midnight hours freely taking what doesn't belong to them? 
Why should we be in fear of our lives and scared to death knowing a trespasser is in our house? After all, if we don't attack them then they may attack us. Burglars don't come round to sit and have a chat, they don't knock the door and leave if you are out. They have one job to do and that is to take your goods. 

Some people even go to the extreme length of keeping a gun in their house for that 'special occasion'.

On the other hand, if we catch them red-handed, why attack?
Isn't it more dangerous to attack, leaving them no choice but to get physical in order to defend themselves? 
After all, we pay hard-earned tax money for a police force to deal with this. Is it really wise to try and do a D.I.Y. job instead of leaving it to the professionals?
Isn't it better to have some security measures such as an alarm etc. and make sure you keep your mobile phone within reach at all times?

What are your views on how the law should respond to this issue?
Do you think those that attack people in their own home deserve to be prosecuted?
What if the person is attacked from behind by the homeowner whilst they are in the process of leaving with the goods?
What if the person is already captured and no longer a threat and still the homeowner goes on beating them into a pulp. Can it be justified?

These are the nitty-gritty situations that occur everyday in the real world.

I would be delighted to hear your answers or viewpoints to any or all of these questions.

The Majority of Men Are Evil

“The majority of men are evil” - One of the most earth-shattering statements in the history of philosophy. It was coined by a man called Bias, the most famous of the Seven Sages.
So acutely aware was he of its implications that he was actually reluctant even to express this judgment. It’s easy to see why, if we just think about it. 

Can you imagine what would happen if we took it seriously to heart? It has the power to devastate the foundations of relationships, families and whole societies.

Relationships are based on trust – but how can we reach out to our fellow man, if we harbour in our hearts the suspicion that he is, more likely than not, evil? We wouldn’t even be able to get started.

Businesses are built on contracts – but who would join in a venture if he didn’t trust his associates? The meaning of even money itself is based on a promise to ‘pay the bearer’. Would it be possible for such mass cooperation to take place without faith in our neighbour to act fairly?

Societies are built on law – but how can the law function in an environment where most people are evil? Sooner or later it would have to disintegrate.

But surely with the advantage of hindsight we can see he was mistaken… wasn’t he?

But then again, how do we account for the holocaust, the transatlantic slave trade, the genocidal wars that have marked human history across the globe into ages past? How do we account for the greed and selfishness that surrounds us every day?

Is there any hope for humanity?

Is it rational, or even sane to have any hope at all in human nature?

I would welcome any thoughts any of you may have on this.

This post has been written by a guest writer called Alex, who I know personally and have invited to contribute this week. He'll respond to any comments.